Wednesday, August 30, 2017

ranting #1

s'times i dun knw wat it is i am supposed to do. s'times i wake up at the mid of the nite and i see all dis time dat i hav and all the hours in a day and i collapse wit anxiety. 

i ask myself at the end of each day, hav i done enough? did i accomplish enough? did i do sthg to change a life in a positive way? did i work on sthg towards a dream of mine?

i think of all the paths of ppl i cross bcoz i knw dat my purpose here is more than jst to walk the earth aimlessly, it is more than jst to feel the broken heart, it is to write these anecdotes, to heal others - life is complicated, but it is also beautiful. it is weirdly beautiful yet dats kinda ugly at the same time.

we need to knw dat theres sthg out there or sthg more for us to get towards, and forward, sthg more for us to achieve and i think we need to focus on all the time we hav, instead of the we dun - expectations dun lead to disappointment. wat leads to disappointment is not tryin at the first place. and gez wats worst? expecting sthg and it doesnt go ur way? or jst sitting there doin nthg, and not even tryin?

i am ranting, i knw. coz my brain tends to take over. but i guess i am jst sayin dat the time is precious, and we stimes over complicate everythg, hearts break, try and fail, fail and succeed - we r all hav some story worth sharing. 

life is more than the box we trap ourselves in, and bein put down by our thoughts - we need to get out of our head, and get into the world.

get into the world. u shld.

Sunday, August 6, 2017


Image result for choose you black and white

"and my God, i hope u wake up one day, in one sweet mornin to someone who loves u like ur the sunflower, and they r desperate to keep u alive. i hope u dance wit em in the small space of ur room, wit dat messy hair, and wit those tired eyes bcoz u both been up all nite watching movies again.

i hope u laugh out loud wit em in a way u never did wit anyone else, head tilted back and lips apart as u let out every sound of ur laugh can possibly make and i hope to God above, u wont try to cover ur mouth - coz it is beautiful dat way.

but then again, if u do - its ok - bcoz dats ok, i knw i sometimes do, i hope they will stop u.i hope they grab ur hand before it comes in contact wit ur lips and i hope they hold it to their chest as they watch u wit dat kinda lovin eyes.

bcoz fcuk, everyone knws u deserve it. 

and i hope u will find someone who'll accept u as u r. i hope they accept ur messy hair in the early morn of the day, and i hope they accept the way u sometimes talk too much and cant seem to stop u - when ur nervous, or how u still cry urself to sleep on some nites.

i hope they hold on and kiss u on the places where ur most insecure at and i hope to God u will let em. i hope u find someone who make u happy, even when u feel like sometimes - life is fcukin hard for u. and i hope dat when u both come across a tuff situation, and it comes down to a choice where u r one of em, i hope they choose u.

every Goddamn time, i hope they choose u.."

u r enuff.

Image result for you are good enough black and white

u dun need anyone's affection or approval, in order to be good enuff. when someone rejects or abandons, or judges u - it aint actually about u  - it is about them and their own insecurities, limitations, and needs, and u dun hav to internalized dat. 


ur worth is not contingent upon other ppl's acceptance of u - it is sthg inherent. rmbr - u exist, and therefore - u matter. ur allowed to voice ur tots and feelings. u r allowed to assert ur needs and take up ur own bloody space. 

and u too, r allowed to hold onto the truth dat who u r is exactly enuff. darn u r allowed to remove anyone from ur life, who makes u feel otherwise.