as the time goes by, and as the age change - i learn a lot of thg. i learn to giv up on thgs i dun like, i learn to let go even more. i learn to giv in on thgs dat i hate as well. theres no fighting on thgs dat'd never bring u good. i learn to love even more. i seek to understnd ppl even better. and understand myself way better.
i jst dun wanna waste my time. on thgs dat doesnt worth my time. i jst dun hav such energy to spend on such, anymore.
but if i wanted somethg, or if i knw i am right - i'll stand up well.
i learn to be nice to others, and respect ppls' feelings, choices and thoughts as well. theres no use to stand ur stance in the name of 'expressing ur self' when at the end of the day - ppl will leave alone and left u wit nthg - except wit ur go-to-hell-wit-ur-expressing-ur-self kinda thang. no man is an island - u cant stand alone in dis whole world. we need one another - and dat is the scariest fact - but dats the way life is. unless ur Schizophrenic, or Schizoid Personality (or perhaps, Schizotypal) - u go figure dat out. perhaps dat'd giv u sort of insight. i learn to watch out on words i wanna say for u never knw - one day, u mght need to lick em all up back again. and u dun want dat. Allah is Great - u gotta remember dat.
i learn to let go a lot. if i dun like u, if u mess wit me, if u stress me up - i'll leave u behind. life is so freaking short to deal wit all dis kinda creepy thgs/ppl, and i dun wanna waste my time. i stop forcing myself to like someone -if i jst cant. and i dun mind if u dun either, coz dats choices in life. if u think ur so bloody smart, and i am a dump - hey, go fly kite - for everybdy knws if ur damn fuckin smart enuff - ur not supposed to be wat and who ur now. u shld be somewhere else.
or perhaps - someone else.
i learn to forgive and forget. i learn to realize dat ppl around u is unique in a special kind - u shld never expect they'll think the way u do, and vice versa. and i learn to tell thgs out properly - if it is pain in the arse and makes u losing ur sleep. keeping thgs and hoping ppl will read ur mind is sucha bulshyte - we r human being. we r born as one - no body cld read ur fuckin mind. ur no witch, bitch. trust me.
dats the fact.
and i learn to go easy on thgs. i stop being over-analyzing about shyte in life - it'd bring u no good. it'd add on ur physical diseases even more, and effect ur mental health as well. unless u'd love ppl to knw u as a sociopath, darn dat'd be somethg else. ppl will hate u bcoz ur over-critical attitude, and ur sickening judgment. i learn to give and take. i dun expect ppl to understand me - even if i try to explain myself. u dun hav to understand me pun - its ok. and u dun hav to love me - if u dun feel like too.
go fuck urself wit ur super duper excellent thoughts - for it doesnt mean a thg to me. as long as i knw wat i am doing, as long as i knw who i am - i dun to submit to u. ur not my parents - i need not to explain shyte to u. and - yes, i dun explain. dats jst me. u cant live wit dat - go fuck urself. i find to be more stress-free when i stop to giv a flyin fuck, seriously. if u think ur way superior then others - darn u shld hav a break and look into urself - coz ur suffering of a serious low self-esteem kinda problem, luar nampak bagus dlm hancur kinda shyte. and dats the way it is.
u mght think i am being selfish - but hey, dat's life. u gotta love urself well, and then only u knw how to love others well. love u to love others. if u dun love urself well, if u dun even knw urself well - get out of here.. dun keep coming back and tell me u love me - coz u knw nohtg.
and yes - i am not a witch. i dun read ur mind. make me understand if u wanted to be understood. otherwise - u can opt a choice to keep mum. its a matter of choices, to choose - in life. choose either one - and i am ok wit it.
and yes - respect others, to respect urself. and respect urself, to respect others.
btw - i'll be a year older in coupla days to come.
and i am glad.
will be out of town for a lil while, trow. u take care. and hav a good crash ppl!