i cant really sleep last nite. it was a hot, long torturous nite for sure. i refused to stay back in my study room for i knw i'll ended up doin thgs dat got nthg to do wit my sleeping. and i refused to go down stairs coz i knw i'll ended up watching thgs on the idiotbox. and when the morning come, i'll go walking to the ofc like a Zombie.
its hard when u gotta struggle urself off to sleep. staring in the near blank endless darkness - the nthgness cld be so eerie beyond words. i cant remember wat time i really went off, all i knew by 5.30am - the alarm was screamin shyte out and i was still wishin it aint real.
class at 8 to 10am. nthg new. 2 hrs shj for today - and dats sthg new. rushed out of the class, off for Audit Meeting. duduk dlm 15mins, aku left the room since menyampah dgn cara all these ppl run the meeting and such. and obviously - even tho aku is one of the committee - darn aku had nthg to do wit the whole shyte really.
kuar mkn jap dgn Amer, Abg Din and Mr Anwar. best plak kuar dgn dorang neh. at least i had the opportunity to mingle wit 'real person' - which is sthg hard to find in my ofc nye set-up. byk yg bermuka-muka, opportunist, double-faces and such. kesian. aku wonder wat really they wanna hav in life by doin dat. most of em - yg baru2 ni lah. maybe baru. nak cari tapak. tak sure wat ur good at. and yet - ko kena survive. and as a survival - ppl tend to do watever it is, as long as they r 'in the system'. blergkh.
i dun need to do dat. i hav faith in myself. i knw wat i am good at. and if i am not - i dun mind telling so, and learn thgs up.
2.30pm - discussion wit stdnts clinical psych. posting. dah 2 minggu, tak sempat2 nak jumpak dorg. ada pengajar junior to see em all, sorang pun tak pi. aku sepatutnya do the clinical audit - and ended up doin the routine.
owh. happy Thors-Day. dun forget to make ppl happy thus it'll make urs one, too.