Monday, January 5, 2015


there r certain ppl in the world dat jst dun care. they r called ignorant. while it is, yes - ignorance is a bliss, it is also a fcukin annoyance to some ppl - like me. ignorant - as their name suggests, build a fortress around their so-called good life wit ignorance and fcuk-i-dun-fcukin-care, and the fortress keeps em safe and sound in the own lil perfect world - but still giv em a sense of comfortability to laugh at other ppl who care and to say 'wat a bldy pathetic fool they r' kinda thang.

u cannot go to s'one and say 'shyte, y u gotta sweat on all these, be cool la man!'. no, u cant when u dun knw a thang. i guess dat is how ppl r, some wit the burden of the world at their back, some w/o even a single freakin chip on their shoulders. and it is up to the one who cares, to take care of the ignorant; bcoz at the end of the day, the ignorant wld never understand the reasons y u care  so much.. and also u cant understand the complexity, or the simplicity for dat matter - the mind of fcukin ignorant. seriously - they dun care about u. about the world. and yes, i shld cool down a it and stop bein a b*tch.

a few thgs i'm grateful for dis week - and one of em is bein myself. i knw i am not golden, titanium or apa jadah sekali pun - i'm a aluminium at best. but to be frank, dat is only thg i can be grateful for dis wk. or a good month. or a good year. erm, baru je start 5 hari in the new year eh? over. seriously. but dammit, i survived. i am grateful for being me, and for be able to accept myself the way i am - tho i cld do wit some drastic weight loss. shyte.

there r days when thgs go as usual, as ordinary as any other day, but theres s'thg not right and i cant put my fingers on it, and it ticked me off. the day is runied thoroughly, until s'one bumped into u and was like 'weh, ko ok ke? pe hal nampak mcm antu mak jemah? mata ko pesal? ko sihat? ko ok?' and the list go on and on and on.. and u smile, taking the burden off lil by lil. and then another person called ur name out of the blue - askin how ur day goes and some small unimportant talk, before he walked away waving u goodbye wit the friendliest smile. the senior passed u by and says 'where to, adik?' (euw) u smile and answer her politely, see her laugh and u cannot understand y she laughed. but its ok bcoz it isnt derogatory laugh but a frenly laugh. and u went out, look up to the sky, and see the calm blueness of the God's playground, the sun shines alrite, and u knw its a beautiful day, darn everythgs gonna be alrite.

so, i am grateful for being me. dats the only thg dat walk me thru the week. the world is an ugly, hostile place but it also gives u an equal oppurtunity to see its beautiful, frenly side; only if u want to. i knw i am not much of a positive person, but i do absorb the positiveness of ppl around me, and these coupla days i felt like bein sort of left behind a bit; as always - works, busy schedules to be blamed. but the windm the sun, the sky hav all sort of positive energy and they wont abandon u even in their worst days. dat - s'how make me believe dat its a wonderful world after all. kata nye. and all those manic, major depressive disorders dat i've learned and the symptoms which i recognize very dearly, all subside to oblivion. 

thanks for lettin me havin these days.

dat i dun need rite now is a person who wants to argue w/o wanting to compromise. they suck, seriously. they really do.


great, its 4.40pm and no call from Putrajaya. i gez no travellin then.

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