Friday, November 7, 2014

wats ur gift?


back when i was in school, i hate reading (er, i still am.. i think). i mean - thgs change. i really hav to read nowadays and i hav no choice seriously. and how ironic it is, now dat i am readin i still got sorta bad grades. haha.. back when i was in school, i cld do all week read nthg and got-in-ur-face results. well i gez karma really is a bitch. it will get u eventually.

i hav papers in BM. i read each of the antalogi's though. the ones wit sastera in it, puisi, sajak, cerpan and all shytes innit. where they r shorter and simpler than the novels. and being around in the fmly, i had been served wit patriotic novels to no end, and twisted wtf.. i rather not say.

i never finished any of the books. y bother when u can get the essence in some reference books? kan? i rmmber throwing kapal terbang kertas from our second flor - jst bcoz it was boring and wit hope of doin so - the story wld be so much cooler.

but dammit. it din.

how do they xpct stdnt to actually read and suddenly outburst wit the needs to xpress their patriotism when they failed to get the stdnt's attention in the first place? i can see dat clearly now - now dat i am teaching as well. u gotta be interesting hell yeah, to pull all the attention rite on board. kalo ko ngajar SS and mcm gampang, ko xpct stndt nak pay attention? mcm tu? mmg tak la.. 

s'time i believe dat our education system looked good on the paper, but they certainly forget to include the human in it. the anomalies of human creation itself.

and there i go again. crapped crapped crappity crappier crappiest crap.

and btw - i i hav frens who were talented in various ways. one who pinned down her arse and read for the longest hrs in the whole wide world. i hav one who can stand hrs crunching numbers and wats not, one can read all and remember details, one has nice singing voices and hiding it, one can speak in public really well and make ppl jst go wit watever not the idea is and u cannot get back at, i hav a fren who can make jokes and u feel like so happily ever after wit him around, one loved history (euw) and hav it for breakfast and so and so.

i tried to find mine. i mean - my talent. the only one i found so far is - i knw how to write. a bit. itu pun not all the time. which s'times is annoying. and when i was in school, i tried to write karangan and essays and masuk all sort of pertandingan - and i never win a thang. seriously. i remember took a place in pertandingan menulis karangan in my local library. i tot i write it good. my full effort. and the result was - mine was not even mentioned by anyone at all. and the gal dat i hate the most in the class, menang. i walked back home crying. i was 7yo back then.

erm, i am always average. nver the best. sometimes the worst. i gez dats my gift, eh? :-/

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