Wednesday, March 19, 2014


by the time aku reached home jst now at 5.30pm, aku rasa so bloody drained out. aku shldve go for a run as usual, but today - aku jst dun feel the urge at all, thuse aku stright head home.

aku shld be free today. aku shld be able to get many thgs done. imagine - aku cuma perlu invigilate exam for an hr, and then class for 2 hrs. dats all. and the rest of the hrs shld be be mine. all mine.

but apparently, dat din happen.

awal pagi Mr Bong dah called aku to make sure all the junior lecturers r there to help and observe how to do thgs, and how to invigilate exam etc. haih. benda senang. and aku usually make it my own way - the easiest and simplest way dat it. tp ni ada juniors la plak -around 8 of em. argkh, serabut. thus - aku hav to be like so protokol, and i hate it. kalo tak nanti they'll take thgs for granted, and learn it the wrong way. mati lar aku.

by 10.30am - kelas. aku lewat masuk since bdk2 renal buat mkn2. i am not keen, tp aku hav to tunjuk muka. pi balik pi balik bersocial sket bagai -11am baru aku masuk kelas. talked about punctuality. heh. kelas on Elisabeth Kubler-Ross Model, on the psychological view. the talk was simple - tp aku need to emphasize thgs, and aku need to put more example. aku used my bad experienced as a medical staff, facing bad attitude of paramedics kat ward. on how they treated my mum badly time abah was warded. the denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance during the near death, and the same thg wit the fmly. aku told em how we faced the difficulties - seawal how abah being diagnosed, until his last day on earth. abah mght not facing all dat - but we, the whole fmly did.

and aku sebak sekejap, thinkin how hard it was for abah. and for mak. for us. but before aku left the hall - i cld see sort of.. i dun knw how to tell - those in their faces. aku tak tau nak ckp mcmana. and another thg is - aku left the hall dgn rasa puas hati, seriously. u knw - dat feeling when u managed to let thgs out and make ppl really understand.

aku hope it'll bring sort of insight in every stdnt's heart. dat we r dealing wit human being, bukan subject. or object. and how thgs work - u get wat u giv. and such.

by 12.30pm aku dah at my place. baru nak pegang2 reports and such - Mim my senior dgn. tarik kerusi and duduk tepi aku. fine. i knw sthg is wrong somewhere. she did dat all the time. sedar tak sedar dkt sejam setgh jgk aku duduk and do nthg - but jst listenin to her. as usual - stdnt post basic dia buat hal, buat kepala msg2. 

the fact dat if ur dealing wit bdk basic, tak pe. they r easily 'mold'. tp deal dgn stdnt2 tua neh? disaster.

Mim mls nak masuk kelas since dia dah geram and tensi dgn bdk2. so aku volunteer to go to the class, and maybe jst jenguk2, ckp2 sket. 2.15pm aku dpn kelas - and nobody there! ermmm.. 3pm baru pakat2 masuk kelas - itu pun selps aku sound the Ketua to call everybdy masuk kelas! imagine - org2 tua dr ko. nak ckp susah, tak ckp susah.

3.30pm - semua dlm kelas. reverse psychology - dats wat i do. 4.30pm, aku concluded everythg, aku mintak maaf and left the class. 5pm - bdk2 tu dah kerumum tmpt Mim - i bet dorg mintak maaf beramai2.

tp aku puas hati. the ability to help others while otak ko sendiri sebenarnya dah penat. 

assignment berlonggok2. ujung minggu ni ada kuiz lagik.


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