i guess there is no other to knw wat we've been doin all along is rite or wrong. except to end wat we had started in the first place. but there is always a way out. life is a long and winding highway - and there always the exits, tho it will only come in only a few moments in ur life.
human is designed to prevail. evolution has taught us dat - dat only the strongest will survive. out thick skulls, hard bones, layers of skin, a very effective secretion system, we r designed to live. but, we r not designed to make wise decisions. thru out history - all sort of bad decisions made, catastrophic effects came and passed, and wait for the next bad decision to be made.
giving uo, we al had dat moment of clarity - when the idea of leavin seems like not too bad of an idea. like how sometimes our minds deceive our brains into drinkin dat orange mustard is a good on us. the only different is how many of us really dig the idea of leavin, and take the faithful leap - to a decision dat mght be regretted later - but nevertheless, is a thg to do.
all my life - i seldom giv up. but also there were too lil of circumstances into pedestal - to make or to break. i usually go wit the flow, and dat is y i really dun knw how's givin up wld truly feel. and if i hav to imagine - to giv up in wat i am doin - i will tell u how liberating it wld be. i imagine it wld be smthg no short of being given a chance at life for a second time. i cant express how light i wld feel if i was to escape dis.
but theres too many thgs a fantasy can fulfil. dat reality wld soon kick its harsh unmerciful gesture. the constant reminder of ur failure, u - yes, u r a failure. get up off ur arse and see urself in the mirror how pathetic u look. dat torturing feeling every morn u will hav upon the realization of u r nthg but a sack of dead meat w/o purpose seeps in. the question dat if u died, who wld miss u, wat will they say about deceased u, the grim tots dat keep replayin over, and over again.
sorry - i hav too many thgs to lose if i giv up now. or ever. i cant afford to giv uo, be it the road wld riddle wit multiple failures and constant depression. no. i cant. dis is sthg i hav to do - wat am i gonna do wit it when i am finished , dat is sthg i havent decided yet. i, as ur - will made dis murky black water and watever will happen - will reach the shore in the end.
be strong my mate. jst be strong.