a sun rise at Pangkor.
4am aku dah bgun. bkn tak bley tdo, aku slept like a baby instead. smlm 10.30ish pm aku dah crawled up the bed. as usual, bgun such early - kemas2 beg keje, bilik, off to bilik study, smbg2 golek, by 5.30am - aku dah siap mandi, solat etc, tunggu Subuh. aku feel like nak go off for a morn jog - tp its a working day, and i never try it before. perhaps one day, i shld.
and 6.30am - aku dah kat bwh, panas enjin kete, siap2 nak kuar. i knw - its early, but u shld knw like most of the time - Mr Bong lagik awal dr aku smpai ofc. and like most of the time - aku second early after him. aku suka start early, byk keje bley buat. like wat i am doin now - pun kat ofc - so dat by letting all out from the miind, aku'd be able to store more for the rest of the day.
i gez - in life; kita tak selalu dpt apa yg kita nak. perhaps u want A, u pray hard for it, u work hard for it - but u only get B+. or if ur lucky enuff, ko dpt A+. or maybe - u hav nthg at all. its purely subjective. i've been there, i knw how it is. sometime - u alrdy hav everythg it takes to get wat u really want in life - and suddenly, u jst hav to let it go. u jst hav to. jst like dat. and u succumbed into all kinda stress and shyte. sometime - u never think of havin it, at all - and it finally urs. and u thanked God for it, and u feel so blessed.
along the way - i learn one thg for sure. i learn how to bersyukur dan berlapang dada. i used to hate it each time mak told me so. but now i knw. coz for everythg, every single thg yg berlaku in life - there must be a reason for it. a hikmah, some ppl said. its jst how u look at it. or from which angle ur lookin at it. and how u take it, and digest it down ur flabby stomach. and go on wit life. i had time of my life, i never regret. i learn a lot. all those sweet, good time. and all those bad time - shaped me well. aku bersyukur ke hadrat Allah Taala for everythg He gives me. the good, the bad. i am happy wit wat i am havin now - and i wanna keep it as it is.
dan aku keep berdoa, semoga Allah akan terus membuka pintu hati aku, dan tunjuk kan aku jalan yg benar insyaAllah.
so near. yet so far.
hav a good day ahead, ppl!