Saturday, December 28, 2013

Jess-wtf-Tures.











gd day, dear readers. its time for mind bending writin since i slept for only like 2hrs, last nite. and aku still mengantuk now. i gez dats enuf for me to generate some idea regardin on somethg. i believe in gesture. i believe in body language way better than ur sweetest, diabetic sweet kinda words. i cld define gesture as a body language of human instinct. pardon me if i go deep into dis sort of topic. i always believe, spy is one of the best profession i've ever knw apart scientist and skydiving instructors. seriously - skydiving instructors r awesome. excuse me - ehem. tak lah, ko jgn harap aku nak ber-skydiving la kot. as u watch a movie about spy - esp the serious ones - u cld see dat they hav plenty of techniques in reading human gesture. and forgive me - for forgettin the father of all superb observin and deduction skills - Sherlock Holmes. u knw wat i am talkin about if u read Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's books. 


dats for today's intro. now, let us dive in, shall we?


acquiring dis sort of skills in nthg but easy. it requires dedication, hard work and even practise. u gotta love doin the 'ppl watching'. a lot of em, and u will. humans tend to be comfortable wit their life. hence, producing numerous of habits and gestures in life. they become sooo predictable. so ur scared now? hahaha.. jst by lookin at ur wrist - i can deduce dat ur a geek, a gamer or even a obsessive stalker. i am not makin dis up God sake, and everythg i've written is based on facts, practice or at the very least - chain of words takes from books.


i am not goin tio write the heavy stuff. all dis espionage shyte. an analyst or some mght say. i am goin to go wit the simpler ones.


first thg first - hittin on a gal. or saper2 lah. when ur flirting wit a gal, first impresion is a must. well, u knw the rest. but by observing the behavior u mght get a heads up wats on ur way. if u see a gal cryin, u do not want to be a stupid idiot kinda bad guy and interrupt her and her teary eyed session wit a bloody "hi" or "hello", instead - u shld be caring enuf and giv her ur perfume-soaked-handkerchief. sopme may say..


"heh, dis is boring.. aku pun tau dowh!"


i am glad to inform u dat ur wrong. dats becoz when the time comes, u will chicken put, hav some kinda panic attacks and u'll end up blabbering in front of her and end up as a nuisance rather than becoming dat one guy she needed the most. i am jst being stereotypical. or coz lah, dis sort of technique can be used for guy-hit-on-guy. its jst an example and i am jst bein one cliche MOFO. oh, geez. i am sorry.


well, to be frank, theres more into it. for instance, u'll look at her face, the clothes, the sound she's making, the ring on her finger, the smudge on her eyes, and other sort of thgs. dis help u guys in makin a proper execution on hittin on chicks. ok, again - i am jst bein a one cliche MOFO. watever lah. my point is, dat bein said - u dun wanna be hittin on gals whos crying. esp when they r cryin while eatin a box of choc. they r nthg but trouble. trust me. unless shes cute like Zooey Deschanel, heh - trust me - u dun wanna be next to her.


movin on, by readin those simple gestures - u mght get wat u want in life. if u see a gal keep smilin at u, dat wld be a reason for u to hav a date wit her for the second time. well, dats an example to begin wit. how about, after like three or five times goin out for a date wit her - u realised dat she was bz texting someone else? so how do u knw shes into u? well, my job is not to fcuk u up, but sir -  if u can live wit dat - keep on doin wat u wld do best, grabbin her attention. but if dat doesnt work - u fcukin dump her. easy rite? 


i knw - dat mght sound cruel, but dats the way it is.


the point is - readin someone's gesture is tiresome but it does giv u the advantage of predicting wats happen next. life is a puzzle. some said its a chess game. no, i hate chess. puzzle je lah, senang. its all about taunting, provoking disaster and be prepared for any counter measures. dats wat life is. havin a bloody backup plan. Plan B if ur on Plan A. and Plan C if Plan B mcm tak menjadi. and above all, is havin the passion to thrive watever thg or obstacles life giv u. dun get me wrong - some may said i sounded like a liberal minded guy. i assure u i am not. i believe in God and i do believe theres sthg in life. God do not gav us a plain life. The Almighty surely gives tonnes of adventures and excitement even when its said to be temporary. becoz as for me - i believe the rewarding after life will be so much better dat anythg ur even seen.


wait. i am side tracked wit religion. u hav urs, i hav mine, lets stick wit dat.


i tot i was goin to write sthg about r/shp, but i dun wanna be bothered wit stupid uncivilised problem which is now happening around us.


i jst wanna giv a piece of my mind. i was talkin about readin others; gestures. but at the same time, theres one thg about gestures dat hav equally importance wit the ability of readin gestures.


and wat is dat?


givin other ppl ur own gestures. the proper gestures. givin other ppl dat proper vive. if ur thankful, u giv dat soft look, dat slow gesture of handshake, and soft voice sayin "thank you" and other stuff. i knw its easy stuff, but believe me - ppl hav been livin for thousand of yrs, and some of em become the mockery of our society. wat? u dun knw the courtesy of givin the free seats in LRT to the ones who need the most? puttin ur own fcukin bags occupyin another seat next to u? runnin in a highly populated area and budgin their body along the way, to make it worse ko tak reti2 nak mintak maaf? maybe ko bodoh. or maybe mak ko tak ajar. but then again - nowadays human r condescending. 


u knw wat i hated the most? when we do help frens in need. they fcuked u upside down, rite on ur bloody face. u helped em, u cherished em, dammit wat do u get - a fcukin stab on the back. ye, i knw - we shldnt hav dat high hope to get such in return. but then again.. haih. some ppls choose to be mean. i dun understand the logic in dis. y? jst bcoz theres a lot of friggin bad ppl out there, so does dat justify of becoming as arsehole jst like em? i hated when u hurt others' feelin. i really dun care if u use bad words. i believe the lines r thinned out. theres no exact ruler of bad words. everythg can be used as long it is suitable wit the situation.


so my advice is - gesture is important. action speaks louder than word - as ur dad told u so. 
u need not to sell ur sweet words around, while ur gestures r sayin somethg else. 
and dun be a bitch. but if u really want to 
- dun go bitchin about it to other ppl.



ok. dah panjang berjela. fcuk dat. aku nak mandi, solat. and tido.


hav fun, peeps!











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