been thru a long days in the whole week, since last week itself. been thru a lot, as well. it is somethg u dun wanna go thru, but u jst hav to. it is somethg u dun even think of happening, and it is - and u had no choice but to brace urself and went thru it all. be it tho it hurts or not - dats somethg else. its "u hav to go thru it well" first, and later u think of all the others.
but i learnt a lot. dats the single motivation i had in me - so dat i cld be strong and eager to get thru wit all the shyte, and cast em away. i believe dat no matter how bulshyte thgs r - and no matter how sick it is for u to face it; they'll sooner or later will go away. and by the time they do - u'll appreciate the moment well, and u will learn lesson good. no matter wat ppl say about it - telling u dat it aint the first and such - deep in me, i knw i am learning somethg new. and i put a guard around me - at least - near the future i wont get hurt jst the way it is before, and i'll make sure ppl around me dat i love - wldnt get the same piece of shyte.
and i learn dis as well - when u fcuk up, u gotta own it, admit it, take the blame well, apologize it, learn from it and never do it again. a tough one - never do it again - but then again; u got no choice. u hav to take it as it is. to never do it again. i mean - never, ever do it again. and fcukin learn well from it.
i gotta learn how to choose a someone to talk to as well. i mean - everybdy can claim dat they r a good listener and such - but a good listener need not to instill any of nbdy's value in u - they jst need to listen. dats all. and never judge u as well. by judging ur fren who's in need - u'll hurt em - and nbdy knws. tho perhaps wat ur tryin to say is a bold freakin fact - u gotta learn how to put it nicely; for they r in need. they r screwed up themselves. and they need ur courtesy to lend em ur ears, and nothg more. they need no advice, no judgement, no naggin. its jst ur ears.
watever i went thru - its a lesson to myself. i am learning. and i keep reminding myself, the dis and dat. the dis dat i shldnt do to others. and the dat dat might hurt me, i shld never do it to anyone at all.
and dat u might forget - wat u giv, u'll get it back in return, somehow or rather.
alhamdulillah. thgs r a lil bit better now. i had like a smack rite on my face, and i never think of it - and thank God; aku betol2 sedar skang. no doubt - aku appreciated it well. next time - i knw wat to do. ppl get tired of u easily, and dats the fact. ppl mght say thgs they dun mean it. and ppl mght not mean wat they say.
life is a long journey, esp when ur on ur own. no matter how many frens claimed dat they love u, around u - life is a long lonely path. and dats the fact. be watever comes in mind - u cant deny it; dats the bloody fact, it is. and u got no choice but to brace dat fact well. u need not to be stumble down on ur face - and only then realize such. who knws - it mght be too late then. i consider myself kinda late in knwg dis - but alhamdulillah - at least aku sedar.
i am preparing myself to get back to the real reality. sooner or later.