in dis age of the net, most of us spend more and more time listening to the spoken word. recently, i read somewhere on interpersonal communications of 68 ppl in different kinda occupations - says dat - on the average, 75% of the subjects' waking day was spent in verbal commnication - 30% in talking, 45% in listening.
yet most of us dun knw how to listen. most of us, generally r 'half-listener'; we retains only about 50% of wat we hear right after we hear somethg.
the act of listening requires dat u do more than simply let sound waves into ur ears, jst as the act of reading requires dat u do more than look at the print. u've done dat. u do read a lot. and u knw how it is. good listening demands 'active participation'. but then again - there r several stumbling blocks in the way. one of the onvious problem is - we think much faster than we talk. the rate of an average person is about 125 words (if i am not mistaken) wit in a min., but we think 4 times dat fast. dis means dat in each min a person talks to us normally hav about 400 words of thinking to spare.
see - if we r a poor listener, we soon become impatient. our tot turn to somethg else for a moment, than dart back to the speaker. these brief side excursions continue until our mind tarries too long on some other subjects. then - our tots return to the person talking, we find he's far ahead from us. and nor its harder to follow him and increasingly easy to take off side excursions. finally we giv up -the person is still talking, but our mind is alrdy out there in some different kinda world. i bet u knw how it is.
the good listener uses his tot speed to advantage; he constantly applies his spare thinking time to wat is being said - is the facts accurate? do they come from an unprejudiced source? am i getting the whole picture in ere? or is he telling me only wat will prove his point?
bad listeners seldom giv a subject or a speaker a chance; they declare a subject dry after a few sentences and sign off - givin only a passive attention. good listeners, on the other hand - try to find somethg interesting in wat is being said, somethg dat can be put to use. such as, 'wat is he sayin dat i need to knw? is dat a really practical idea? is he reporting somethg new?' and such. such q's will definitely keep us on track and help us to sharpen our listening skill.
ppl who hav developed their listening skill hav learned to focus their attention on central ideas. they r not led astray by trayin mentally to record each fact as it is presented. facts r useful - no doubt - chiefly for bolstering the theme under discussion. concentrate on the theme, and u will find dat dis will definitely help u to remember the facts cited.
concentration? darn dat is somethg else.
concentration is more than half the battle. a poor listeners tend to be too easily distracted. a good listeners, on the other hand - instinctively fights distraction. he will close a door, shut of the radio, keep away his mobile, and he will interrupt only when it is necessary to clear up one point before proceeding to another.
one of the reasons for paying close attention to wat is being said is simply it is courteous to do so. but there is a selfish reason too. soon we will discover dat the way we listen has a great deal of control over the way ppl talk to us. intelligent listening on ur part helps the speaker to express wat he had in mind and thus makes him more able to giv u information dat u may need. trust me - how u listen therefore had a direct bearing on wat u learn.
when u hav mastered the skill of listening - u will discover an extra dividend - the fact dat u hav learned how to heed the spoken word will mean - automatically - dat u will hav become more interesting speaker urself.
jst as u will get more fun and reward from listening, so others will get more out of wat u hav to say!!
ok. The Walking Dead time now! c'ya.