Tuesday, January 29, 2013

sigh.






cant sleep. its numb inside. i had dis urge to write thgs in ere, but i dun think i can. i knw its my fault literally - and no one else. i am the son, and i cant blame any one else.

its hurt and its hard when ur in my shoes. i never raise up my voice at all to both of my parents. never. and i am sure i will not gonna do dat. and even by havin dis hurting feelings, too - i am scared it'll do me wrong. 

dis is jst not right. at all.

perhaps mak had her own reason. i keepin telling myself dat. but i am the son. her elder son. i remember abah kept telling me to look after her, and others when he's gone. i feel like i am failing. i shldve hav her in ere, wit me. look after her. 

or perhaps its me. being too bloody sensitive. no doubt i had so many thgs in my head, lately. myself, thgs around me, works. but i knw - those wont be a reason or an excuse, to be there for mak when she needed me.

its me. its solely me.


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gotta hit the road for Pangkor again trow. and 2hrs of classes. wit dis kinda shyte  i am in - i gez life wld be jst perfect.








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