its been a long day for in the office, today. i had like a full blast, 8 to 10, 11 to 12.30 and 3 to 5 of classes. i did enjoy doin it - no doubt. but theres sthg else really tested my nerve.
again - its the office politicking. i am getting tired of it. i feel kinda demoralized. i am sad. i had a dream, i nearly to hav it in my palm - and suddenly; here comes someone else - pick it up, and proudly go around and shyte wit it. i knw myself well - the wat-i-can-do kinda thang, my ability and such - and i knw dis guy as well. frankly speakin - i knw i am way better than him. way friggin better.
but then again - ur aint the boss. ur jst a plain cold shyte - they use u when they need to, and they keep u aside upon using u well. and me - i aint good in kissin arses, and dats wat dis guy is doin. i knw i shldnt feel threatened by it - but i cant help to feel bad about it. hopeless.
i knw kinda ppl they hav nothg - no pride and no dignity. they used al those sweet words, and get thgs in their way. aku sakit hati. Tuhan je yg tahu.
i keep telling myself to back to basis. the learn-to-let-go kinda thang. sometimes, thgs r not urs, and better off u let it go. perhaps - ujian Allah. there'll be more to come. i need not to be darn bloody greedy, hogging for thgs dat r aint mine.
malas nak fikir. not dat i wanna put it aside, and hoping thgs will get better. i mean - to think over it, makes me sakit hati. perhaps i shld let it out in ere, and let it stay in ere. i shall hit the sack, and trow will be another better day. Allah knws better. He knws way better.