Thursday, September 6, 2012

wat bird?

6hrs of teaching today. not really 6hrs la. initially aku had only 4hrs, tp since Kak Ina mintak aku cover time Ameer (since he is in KL now), so aku took my sweet time - teaching em all on Stress and Health, and Motivation. better off. kalo tak aku akan stuck dlm lab, wit OSCE. 

11am, aku kicked of the second period wit the stdnts. tired of standing on the stage - and being unable to 'reach' for the stdnts yg mengelamun kat belakang, aku decided to step down  and walked about among the stdnts - after like 30mins on the stage. the class went off smoothly, and aku decided to call it off by 12.30pm. aku dismissed the class, walked up back to the stage - and kemas2 brg aku, and only then aku tgk2 hp. a msg from my own stdnt. and he is down there. it was simple. and sweet. it went like, "sir, zip suar sir..". dgn tindakan refleks yg mcm tu je, aku letak hp, and gagau zip suar aku - on the stage, wit the mic belum off. i swear to God bdk2 neh bley dgr (kot) - even tho msg2 sibuk and bising nak kuar dewan - to my 'shyte' swearing on the mic. 

aku look up - and dat stdnt yg msg aku was standing and looking at me in the eyes, wit dat "its ok sir, jst pretend i dun see anythg, at all" kinda look. aku tergamam sekejap. and he went off. and aku was.. shyte, i swear i cld hear ada yg giggling and such.

aku gathered my thgs, and walked out. it was funny. and malu giler at the same time. imagine aku berdiri atas stage, budak2 kat bwh, aku siap ketwok poket dlm tgn - jalan among the stdnts laki and pempuan. Fina ckp maybe bdk2 tak perasan sgt, since aku pakai batik itam, suar itam. and aku pun itam. tp aku nyer inner putih, cemaneh? aku panik jap. Yus ckp if she was me - she'll gantung diri. Mr Anwar asked me if aku perasan ada stdnts pempuan or perhaps - even stdnts laki and mengelamun smbel tgk muka aku during the class. sah2 la aku tatau. 

bengong lah! sekor pun tak membantu.

and at 2pm, aku kena masuk kelas yg sama, budak2 yg sama jgk. u jst imagine.

but then - aku decided to take it lightly. laugh to it. and make the whole class laugh as well. bila aku nak start kelas, tgk few bdk2 dok sengih2 and look at me in one kind - aku decided to stop and do some 'confession' dat they dun hav to be 'risau' since 'saya dah zip suar elok2'. and they laughed out like hell. aku told em, if they ever see thgs they shldve not seen, sthg is not theirs - then 'its a bonus for awak semua' dat 'u cant see dat like everyday'. and again they laughed out loud. so - settled. aku tak lagi malu2, and dorang pun tadak nak sengih2 mcm kerang busuk dpn aku.

by 4pm - aku perambat dorg balik.

5.30pm - erobik. aku conduct dlm 30mins. bdk2 ofc pempuan nak lagu PSY Oppa Gangnam Style - so aku gav em all Oppa Gangnam Style. i had fun, seeing em all had fun as well. lapang jap otak. by 6pm, settled - aku pi gym trus.

wat bird?


above all - aku still rasa kosong. jst like mcm anak Pak Latip dok sebut - kosong, kosong.. ulang 40 kali. aku rasa sikit sakit ati tgk hp, theres nthg there. aku try tinggal hp diam2 kat meja, tp aku cant help to go back and see it like every now and then.


sumpah aku risau. sumpah aku cant help thinking all sort of shitty thang. aku tau, byk benda lain dlm hidup - keje etc. but then again.. argkh. 


esok confirm aku ke Temerloh. Pengarah bg green light and dia bg mini bus for the trip. so aku, Ajak, Mr Bong, abg Mohseen and 8 org stdnts r goin. balik hari. bertolak at 7am, and tatau la smpai wat time. one thg for sure - its goin to be sgt2 penat for trow.

aku managed to kutip around RM900 as derma/sumbangan ikhlas for allahyarham nyer fmly. alhamdulillah. aku tau, duit mght not mean anythg now - to be compare wit the soul lost. tp at least, it is somethg.


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