finally aku done wit OSCE. imagine stared at 8.15am, ended up at 4.45pm! aku nak muntah darah tgk check list - the same shait again and again. and aku had to deal wit stdnts nye kerenah - the mistakes - be it silly or intentionally. aku tgk muka2 lecturers lain pun masing2 dah bersegi. and dammit i knew i hows dat feels.
we r losing more and more lecturers. Tan Kin Fang - smbg study and on study leave. and so forth wit Karuna, Ameed. wit us yg tinggal - leavin us wit tonnes of shait; stdnts makin ramai, numbers of lecturers tak pernah nyer naik2. and u knw hows dat for us. burn out like hell, u need not to imagine la kot. and aku skang - as the others yg tinggal - we jst do the best as we can, and beyond it - ntah la. masing2 ada limitasi and threshold.
i love my job. i love wat i am doin now. but sometimes - all dis bulshait around me, suffocates me. and leavin me wit no chance to choose. and chances to grow us up? no. theres no chance, at all.
unless ur a big-shoot - dats somethg else.
eh, mls lah aku nak fikir. i wld like to think dat i'd love to contribute - as much as i can. and i will do as good as i can.
5pm. dun feel like off for the gym.. esok je la kot.