a long day yesterday. despite of pergi kerja - aku siap2 ke Temerloh wit Ajak, Haji Mohsin and 8 of my own stdnts to Allahyarham Muaz nyer rumah - to see his family, settle coupla thgs, and pay him a last respect. aku shldve went earlier last 31/8, but i was in Putrajaya - dat i hav to call his dad, mintak maaf since aku tak dpt hadir by the time they brought jenazah home.
around 12pm, sampai Temerloh. bley tahan perjalanan - around 5hrs. lalu ikut Genting, Karak etc. Hj Hassan - the father dah tunggu awal lagi tepi jalan for us, and kami terus ke pusara Muaz. still baru. cuku seminggu. kami baca tahlil ringkas ramai2, and his father doakan tahlil at the end of it. he was weeping away, and everyone of us went silent, and i knw most of us struggling wit our ownself. aku cant help my self - aku had tears running down my cheeks. kita selalu dgr anak2 mendoakan ibu bapa, and we cried while doing dad - but dis is different. a father - whom yg obviously still in shock - cryin while berdoa; mengharapkan kesejahteraan roh anaknya, kebajikannya, ketenangan dan kebahagian di alam barzakh. its different. way different.
solat Jumaat first, after tahlil. kat Masjid Kg Bukit Lada. its a small surau actually, tp di naik-tarafkan jadi masjid. Hj Hassan awal2 lagik dah bgtau aku and Ajak 'jgn terkejut tgk bilangan jemaah JUmaat nanti', kinda thang. and we were surprised, ofkoz. tolak rombongan kami - cuma ada 8 org kg je.. dpt 2 saf since kami singgah berjemaah di situ. it came to my surprise dat Kg Sg Cheh and Kg Bukit Lada kat Temerloh ni is soon to be 'a ghost town' (no, it aint a town pun) - populasi makin merosot, and byk rumah2 dah left behind, tinggal kosong. sembahyang Jumaat, wit 17 org je. darurat, i think. and masjid yg ada pun - sgt2 jauh, dat according to Hj Hassan 'kalo tutup surau ni tak buat Jumaat, tak semayang Jumaat la org2 kg sini' kinda thang.
abes Jumaat, Hj Hassan and few org kg drive us masuk kg to allahyarham's house - around 3km dr masjid tadik. and yes - mini bus pun tak bley masuk, since byk pokok2 rendah. i cld see Sg Pahang tepi jalan, sgt2 dkt dgn jalan, jauh ke bwh. scary, it is. aku mintak stdnts2 kumpul brg2 allahyarham, and we had a simple bacaan Yassin untuk allahyarham, before lunch. dats the least we can do. and again - seeing his parents, seeing us all the way melawat keluarga allahyarham - its somethg i cant describe. they really appreciate u. Hj Hassan tak abes2 thanked me and others, for dis and dat. lunch after dat - mskan kampung. ikan patin masak lemak, labu masak lemak, ulam2 and ikan talapia goreng. one word - wow.
aku smpaikan salam Mr Bong and others, plus kutipan sumbangan yg aku kutip coupla days back. the father was at first kinda reluctant to accet, tp aku urge to do so. i keep tellin him for dis is ak nye tanggungjwb, and aku nak buat the best as aku can - for allahyarham, and the fmly. i dun knw - dis mght be the first and the last time aku melawat pusara allahyarham, and the fmly. but one thg for sure - Muaz Hassan Shaari, and the fmly - they will stay in my heart, for a very long time insyaAllah.
Muaz - he is a fine young man. a good young man - selalu ke surau, jadi imam and such. never say 'no' to each time aku mtk tolong. and never kurang ajar dgn aku and others. he is a smart stdnt, sgt IT-wise. byk kali aku anta lappy and notbook aku kat dia - mtk tlg dia re-format and such. and each time aku nak bg duit or belanja mkn since dia dah tolong aku - he'll decline, nicely.
Muaz, semoga Allah ampunkan segala salah silap, dosa2 sekiranya ada. semoga Allah tempatkan roh allahyarham bersama mereka yg beriman, bertaqwa dan beramal soleh. semoga Allah jadikan alam kubur Muaz, sewangi taman2 di syurga insyaAllah - dan di jauhkan segala siksa kubur dan api neraka, serta sebarang fitnah kubur, hendaknya. ameen, ya Allah.
i learn a lot. love. fate. loss. nobdy knws wat become us. those who around u, mght jst left u - jst like dat, at any time, at all. and so do u. so do i. kita jst a plain hamba kat dunia ni, milik Allah semata2. its been a week since Muaz left us. and its been a month since abah left me. seeing Hj Hassan weeping away, mourning for the lost of his lovely son - dammit i knw how it feels, for i had lost my own lovely father before, as well.