Monday, September 3, 2012


to many thgs to be done today in the ofc - suit me rite, aku dah tinggal ofc lama la jugak. so many thgs redundantly need to eb clear of the desk, appointments dgn stdnts, own thgs to deal wit and so much more. aku din get the chance to hav my breakfast, and lunch - nobdy around to ask out pun. left me alone wit 3 in 1 NesVita kat pantry je.

i feel like talkin to someone - so many thgs in me lately. the insecurity, the nasty tots, risau, serabut and such. aku feel a bit distance from thgs yg aku used to be close wit - lately. yeah, perhaps semua org bz. me. everybdy. ntah la. aku serba salah. aku risau. takut. 

Muaz Hassan As-Shaari, stdnt bwh jagaan aku meninggal dunia last Friday on the 31/8 kat Ulu Bendul. he was otw dr Selayang untuk beraya wit frens. aku still shocked. he is one of the kind - sweet, hormat org lain and tak pernah bwk masalah kat aku. he was otw to Kuala Pilah, tak sempat memotong kereta di hadapan, bergesel dgn kereta dpn (bertentangan) and terbabas wit his motorbike. head injury. passed away rite there on the spot. and as Penyelaras allahyarham - aku was left wit so many thgs to deal wit - plus emotionally. aku called coupla times and talked to his dad, and aku had a difficulty in handling him weeping ant the end of the phone line. 

abah baru je sebln tinggal kan aku - and aku tau how it is for dis old man. i knw how it is.


aku missed my old time. i wish thgs wont change - at all. so i'd be as happy as i used to be. 


i dun choose to be me. nbdy wants to, pun. and nbdy knws how it is, for me.


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