Saturday, July 21, 2012

sahur!








semlm, awal lagik aku dah tdo. too many thgs in my head - aku balik terawih, aku tutup lampu bwh.. and off lepak kat atas. and bila aku tertido, aku tak pasti. lampu ruang fmly kat tgh and tv kat tgkt atas ni tak tutup pun.. around 4am aku dah bgun. as usual. but dis time around - its unusual. its Ramadhan. so aku mandi, solat hajat/tahajjud - 5am aku turun tgk2 pe yg ada kat dapur.


mmg dr kecik mak abah didik aku - and all of us - to at least to hav somethg utk bersahur. seingat aku - aku tak pernah berpuasa w/o bgun bersahur. mak ckp, kena ambil sunat, w/pun mls mcmana sekali pun. and dats wat i did. dulu2 - kalo kat rumah mak, abah akan gerak aku and adik2 bgun bersahur.. siksa, ofkoz - since nak bgun and then still awal. aku ingat lagik kak yang and cik waktu budak2 dulu - paling teruk nak bgun. they wld go pi meja mkn, mkn dgn muka yg torturous - and then berebut bilik air nak berus gigi.. so bley cpt2 smbg tdo. mak will mak sure sahur will be ready for us. and kalo aku ada kat kg, mesti ada telur masin - since mak tau, aku jenis pyh sket nak mkn pg2. especially, mkn nasik. and kalo tak de telur masin - she'll make sure ada acar limau, my fav. aku plak - kalo ada nasik panas,  acar limau, tea-o - aku will stay diam2 mkn, tak tgk kiri kanan dah..


dat was then.


and abah - sedari kecil abah akan ingatkan aku dan adik2 pasal niat sebulan dan niat tiap2 ari. everyday lepas sahur he'll remind us the same. dan  time berbuka - abah akan make sure semua anak2 dia will be around the meals, and he'll berdoa before break the fast. and then berjemaah maghrib - before suruh maki yg lelaki pi masjid/surau for terawih. most of the time, aku will komplot dgn Soleh - ke surau je since 'surau 8 rakaat' where as masjid tempat abah selalu pi - buat 20. dan abah tak kisah, asal kan kami buat terawih.


and pagi ni, aku cuma minum tea-o big mug wit kurma sket and few crackers. tak selera nak mkn lbey2. aku keep on ingat mak abah kat sana - apa je yg dorang hav for bersahur. alhamdulillah - kak yang and Soleh dah smpai HUSM semlm pg, turn dorang dua to be wit mak abah.. cik akan balik Kedah pg ni, since dah seminggu dia kat sana. ok la, since aku bley communicate dgn Soleh. mak wont tell me wats wit abah - she dun want me to be worry. w'pun dah byk kali aku ckp kat mak, to keep me update. 


Soleh bgtau semlm pagi abah had seizure. last time abah had a few way before abah had his shunt on, while abah baru admitted kat Hosp. Selayang. lps operation shunt kat Sg Buloh, abah tak fit lagi dah. and aku remember doc told me - if the shunt went well, abah tak akan sawan insyaAllah. since intra-cranial pressure will be controlled by then. nthg can be done wit the growth, so they drain out the excessive spinal fluid and get the intra-cranial pressure in control. but then the doc said - as long as the shunt tak tersekat, no cancerous tissue goes in it - he'll be ok. 


but lately, aku noticed a swelling kat tmpt shunt abah over his scalp tu. and he had a seizure. and u knw how worry i am. drainage tersekat ke? shunt dah tak berfungsi ke? ICP raised ke? Ya Allah.


yet the doc tak mula lagi wit their radiotherapy as they said they wld. byk birokrasi sgt. 


aku berserah pd Allah. aku mohon pd Allah, moga dipermudahkan segala urusan. tiap2 kali solat, aku doa agar Allah ampunkan dosa mak abah, dan Allah kasihani dan sayangi mereka berdua - jst exactly mcmana both of em mengasihi aku, dan adik2 sedari kami kecil. 


dis Ramadhan, it is so different for me. for us. tp harapan aku, all of us - for our lifes will get better each day to come - will always remains the same.


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Selamat Berpuasa!









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