Ramadhan kareem dtg lagik. how time flies. aku remember sambut ramadhan last year, and was eager looking forward fr Syawal itself. i knw - some ppl said Syawal meant for kids - but as as for me - it meant a lot. its some kinda fmly thang for me. its the time when i'd be able to catch up thgs wit my whole fmly, at the same time. we were taught to appreciate 1st Syawal as it is. and enjoy every bit of it. Ramadhan for me - never failed to amuse me. beside its different from the others, Ramadhan too - i mean, i dun knw. i dun really knw how to describe it.
but dis time around, i dun hav dat excitement in me. i mean - not dat i dun like Ramadhan to come in. not dat other then berpuasa and having the chance utk beribadat dan mengabdikan diri to Allah Taala dat i am not keen of - but its somethg else. i knw it wldnt be dat matters to others, but for me - it does. not havin mak abah around for the first time in life during dis Ramadhan, really hits me. i knw its not like they r gone forever or wat - but the eager in me to go balik kampung and celebrate 1st day of Ramadhan is always there in me - but dis time around, thgs wldnt be the same. mak teman abah kat HUSM Kubang Kerian. and abah.. it hurts me each time i think about it.
i knw - if its hard for me, it'll be way harder bg mak. she is there wit no one around her, look after abah. na dwe - anak-anak mak abah r tryin so hard to squeeze in between, to get all the days-off as we can, and go up there, be around em both - as dat is wat our responsible is.
during the class jst now - aku asked the stdnts saper yg balik kg ari ni after class - and ramai yg balik. i told em off - if they hav a chance, extra resources, time - they shld go back and enjoy dis moment - berpuasa, bersahur dengan keluarga - for we never knw if ever we'll get the chance of so, next year. i told em to not ever waste any time they hav, and spend it wisely wit their loves one. they look at me in one kind - and i was jst smiling away. i was tryin so hard to contain myself by doin dat. i hav the regret in me. and i dun want them to go thru the same.
finally, Majlis Tilawah Al Quran dan Festival Nasyid is over. i can now smile to myself, for the first time in my life - aku jadi MC for the whole session - wit Ameer, Puan Hasnah dan Puan Aisyah. i knw i still got a lot to learn, i did few mistakes - but then again, i am proud myself - for i did somethg new, somethg i never tot of doin - standing infront of like hundreds of ppl, and talk. its different - i am telling u - dari go there and do ur class. kalo class - u teach em somethg yg u master, but doin dis - its different. but i did it anyway. i've challenged myself, and i get it accomplished. and i finally proved to some ppl around me in ere - dat i am way better then wat they think. i am not a kinda person who only knws how to complain. to brag. and go around, do some sweet-talk. i believe in flexibility. u can be master in one thang, yet again - u can do other thg well, as well.
esok dah start puasa. so for those out there, to u the reader - i wish u Selamat Menunaikan Rukun Islam yang ke-3, Selamat Berpuasa dan Selamat Menyambut Ramadhan Kareem.
moga Ramadhan ini lebih baik dr sebelum2 nya, ameen.