Sunday, July 15, 2012

abah.





time melawat. penuh wad. mak and kak ngah dtg awal lg, so aku bukak pintu dpn and let em masuk 30mins way earlier dr masa yg sepatutnya. and all dis misi2 buat tatau je. lantak la.

by 6pm, kak ngah mtk nak balik - dia risau nak drive kalo dah gelap nanti. aku fhm, dis is not her usual place. sah2 bley sesat. mak and kak ngah dah balik, tp visitors makin ramai. aku tggal jap abh, aku pi mandi and solat.

bck in ere, aku rasa me and abh drowned in our own world, wit all the noises, chaos arnd us. aku hold tgn abh, look at his face. stimes he wld open up his eyes, and look at me. but wit in a sec., abh drifted away bck again. kdg2 aku pggl abh, and he went nodding his head so weakly.

aku dah lap abh tdi. mak tlg. tkr diapers abh and kemas2 katil abh.

abh look so tak bermaya. susut sgt. tdi tkr bju abh, aku rasa nak menangis tgk tlg rib cage yg so visible. lookin at him, aku wonder wat he's havin in his mind. wat is goin in his head. i wish i cld read dat face. dat empty face.

aku mula bosan dgn sesak2 neh. lmbt lg ke time mlwt ni nak abes? argkh.



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