Friday, July 6, 2012


for some reason, aku amek EL ari ni. aku jst called the boss telling him so. aku teringat abah, dah smggu tak tgk abah. cik is bringing him to HUSM Kubang Krian trow for radiotherapy, and aku eager to see him.

me myslf not really dat well. dah few nites tak bley tdo, and the headaches r bck. and today, since aku was called to go to Penang, alang2 aku sggah rmh ngah. tgk abh. mak, abh both of em nampak pnt. mak tnya if i had enuf time to bring abh for a barber.

so i did. abh never went to barber for his facial hair. tak mcm aku. abh used to tell me dia 'seriau'. aku lg rela serah muka aku kat uncle barber rather than hurt my own face.

abh makin lemah. so weak he cant barely walk. mak ckp dis coupla, abh tak brp nak bsembang. he rather kept thgs to himslf. aku cld see despairs on angah face's.

done wit barber. aku pimpin abh balik, sggah farmasi. and trus ke rmh angah.

its a long way to go, for me. aku din cry dis time. aku jst feel numb. everybdy is fghting wit thgs in themselves. and so do i. and stimes, i took thgs badly and i spoiled thgs dat i hav. aku spoiled everybdy around me as well. i hardly cntrol myslf. and i cant thk str8.

esk, cik akan bwk abh ke Kubang Kerian. semua referral et al, dah siap. tgk keadaan abh, nak travel jauh - aku rasa sedih. tp we wont giv up. no we wont.

said i wont cry, but i jst did. i wasnt infrnt of mak, but now - i jst cant help myslf.

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