Saturday, February 25, 2012

the pit.

a man fell into a pit and cldnt get himself out.

a subjective person came along and said - i feel for u down there. an objective person same along, and said - its logical dat someone wld fall down there, eh? a scientist wld say - u only think ur in the pit. a Pharisee said - only bad ppl fall into a pit..

Confucius said - if u wld hav listened to me, u wldnt be in dat pit! Buddha said - ur pit is only a state of mind.. a realist said - dats a pit. nthg else, but the pit.

a scientist calculated the pressure necessary, pounds and square inches - how to get him out of the pit. but a geologist told him to appreciate and study the rock strata. an evolutionist said - darn ur rejected mutant destined to be removed from the evolutionary offspring! the Majlis Perbandaran said - did u hav permit to dig dat pit? where the hell did u get the permission?

a professor gav him a lecture on the elementary principle of the pit. a self-pity person said - u havent seen anythg until u've seen my pit! but an optimist said - damn thgs cld get worse.. a pessimist said - thgs r goin to get worse!

a real good fren saw the man in the pit - took him by hand and lifted him out.

*haish.. pening!

ok tak?

somethg u can relate to? LOLz.

Thursday, February 23, 2012

tot to live, by.

sometimes ppl come into ur life and u knw rite away dat they were meant to be wit u. to be there for u. so serve some sort of purpose, teach u a lesson or help figure out who ur and wat u want to become. u never knw who these ppl may be but when u lock eyes wit em - u knw at dat very moment dat they will affect ur life in some profound way.

and sometimes thgs happen to u dat may seem horrible, painful and unfair - but in reflection, u realize dat w/o overcoming those obstacles, u wld hav never realized ur potential, strength, willpower or heart. nthg happens by chance. coincidence. miracles. or by means of good luck. darn i dun believe in such, u knw how it is.

illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness or sheer stupidity - all occurs to test the limits of our soul. w/o these small tests, life wld be like a smoothly paved, straight, flat roads to nowhere - safe and comfortable but dull and utterly pointless.

the ppl u meet can definitely affect ur life. i knw how it is. the successes and downfalls dat u experience can create who ur, and the bad experiences can be learned from. in fact - they r probably the most poignant and important ones.

if someone hurts u, betrays u or breaks ur heart - forgive em bcoz they hav helped u learn about trust and the importance of bein cautious to whom u open up ur heart to. if someone loves u - darn love em back unconditionally; not only becoz they love u God sake - but becoz they r teaching u to love and open up ur heart and eyes - to every lil petty thgs in life.  

make everyday count. appreciate every moment and take it everythg dat u possibly can - for u may never be able to experience it again. talk to ppl u hav never talked to before, and actually listen. let urself fall in love, break free and set ur sights high. hold ur head up becoz u hav the every right to.

tell urself u r the great individual and believe in urself.. for if u dun believe in urself - and no one else will believe in u. 

create ur own life - and then go out, and live it..



a day called Thors-day.

kinda bz day, for me today. i finally received the formal letter - saying aku terlibat dlm editing questions for coming exam. yeah - i heard dat my name was like there, tp since i had no back and white - aku dok2 diam je.. malas aku. edit soklan is one of the last thang i wanna do - buat soklan, edit, murni.. aiyay! pening. and now - i am struggling. imagine 120 of mcq's, 6 meq's. i cld jst go thru my own bank soklan - but it wldnt be nice. darn i need to be smart. no wants to work hard nowadays, eh?

by 2.30pm - aku put all thgs aside. semlm dlm assembly - Pengarah dah again telling everybody to participate in physical activity - especially aerobic tiap ptg Khamis and mentioned my name like coupla times. and dat was the time aku duduk melorot and hide my kepala botak behind Kak Ton yg duduk dpn aku. damn! every Thursday? like - every week? there goes Shahezam into the drain. and he wanted me to re-shuffle jadual gym - Khamis only untuk staf shaja - as if staf mmg masuk gym. heh! so there i go - sibuk cari muzik yg ok, susun, burn and such. argkh.

alhamdulillah - by 5.45pm, aerobic done. 31mins., total. aku tgk akak2 senior lecturers dah nak mcm sempot pun ada - walhal - tak la hi-impact mana sgt pun. lantak! hehe.. and gym after dat - me and Achap the presiden kelab gym decided to work on arm je lah ari ni.. best pairing up wit him, dah 2 minggu - aku really do work out. nak kata bdn chantek, tak la kot.. tp aku rasa way different kalo worked out alone. and as expected - tadak ramai mana sgt pun staf yg masuk gym. tinggal aku, Pengarah, Achap and Hema. 

and before Pengarah left - he was sort of suggesting me dis Zumba step - kinda 'telling me dis and dat about Zumba' as if i din knw a thang. heh. aku pun was like - 'ye ke sir?', 'owh!', 'wow' - convincingly. and he wanted me to think about it, and 'i bet staff wld love it' kinda thang. 

Zumba-wat? shait. mana aku nak belajar?


home by Maghrib. and aku alrdy had dis body-aching, creeping in.

Monday, February 20, 2012


"gnite syg. i cant wait to 'see' u trowm its not normal to not hav u as a part of my life. being away from u has made me want to be wit u even more, ur truly r a remarkable person i ever knw. i've never met anyone like - literally. it sounds cliché. but i dun giv it a shait. for dats wat i feel, rite now - rite ere, in my heart. 

ur so special. and so precious to me. it physically hurts me to think of u - wit someone else. ur perfect for me. and i knw u've said dat u think u hav to live up to bein perfect - becoz i see u dat way. but u dun. its not any oen the big thgs dat make u special - its the lil ones. u can tell tale when it somes to dis - the lil ones. but - its ok. for u knw wat it is. 

i dun see how any one wldnt wanna be wit u. u deserve the very best - and i hope i am good enuff even as i type dis - i can feel u around me. 

i hope dis puts a smile on ur sweet bubbly face - coz it makes u so damn beautiful. 

sweet dreams, hun. i miss u. and u knw i love u - so much.."



is u wanna shyte..

ample day today - so aku managed to do thgs for myself, and coupla thgs yg dah back-log and needed to get done well. aku dah siap re-scheduling few lawatan klinikal, aku siap tanda case clerking/study stdnts, and semak e-mail research stdnts yg bersepah2 dlm inbox e-mail aku, well. alhamdulillah.

2 to 4pm, kelas wit the juniors. bdk2 Nazri. Nazri - u knw who. my seniors. aku heard few thgs jugak regarding budak2 baru neh - tp aku tak amek port sgt - since dlm kelas aku - dorg ok je. or perhaps - thg or two did happened at the back of me; and its my lacking to not to see thgs coming. tp Ajak, Amer and Yus dok sibuk bgtau aku - yg dis stdnts 'bley thn', able to 'jual ko kalo ko lem-pi' as yus told me once.

and dats wat happened to me during dat 2hrs. by the time aku masuk kelas - it was like a minute to 2, and it is understandable bila the hall bising, budak2 bz sign attendance and such. and usual - aku will giv em time to settle down, before kickin the class off. and today - by the time the attendance smpai ke tgn aku - ada 2 stdnts tak masuk kelas.. aku called coupla time - and no answer. and the worst part - kawan2 tatau budak 2 ekor ni ke mana.

and at the attendace sheet - siap ada bekas 'liquid paper'.. aku was like - wow, dis is somethg new!

and it clearly shows dat - dis 2 boys tak masuk kelas, tp ada one balachi tolong tanda - but when he realized dat these 2 guys tak masuk2 kelas - so he go and padam the earliest signatures - using liquid paper.

gez wat? for the rest of like 15mins., aku used all my skills and such - to get to knw dis balachi well. and gez wat? tak smpai 15mins., aku 'rasa' aku dah dpt the respective person. bila aku jerkah and tanya - in a joking way; its like u can see it clearly it was 'him yg buat the taik' mcm tu. and during the take five - dis one guy came up and see me personally - confessed yg he was the so-called balachi tanda-tgn for both of the culprits. hehe.. i kept on telling em all yg 'u dun eat and shyte at the same place' and 'if u wanna shyte, shyte well!' kinda thang. aku dulu pun stdnt. and to tell the truth - aku bukan la jenis stdnt yg nerdy and patuh perintah and such. so i knw how it is.

above all, it is nice to knw dat apa yg aku belajar all dis while - do help me a lot in everyday. u can sense thgs well - u need not to hav a verbal thang to prove thgs well - sometimes; gesture, body languages etc tells a lot.

aku need not the stdnts scared of me. i dun mind if they dun respect me pun. but as long as they who am i, and wat am i - wat i am capable of - i am fine wit it, really.

ok. dah 5pm. time to hit the gym!

release and let go

we all got hru disappointment, setbacks and thgs we dun understand. maybe u prayed for a loved one, but they din get well. or maybe u worked hard for a promotion - but u din get it. u stood in faith for a relationship - but it din work out. it hurts i knw. but then - wat ur gonna do about it anyway?

i gez, one of the best thgs u can do is - release it, and let it go. if u go dwellin on it - wondering dis and dat, wondering y dis din work out - y ur loved one din get healed, y din u get the promotion, all dats goin to lead is to bitterness, resentment and self-pity. and a lil bit of hatred in u. before long u'll be blamin others, urself, and maybe even God.

but then - life's like dat. u may not hav understood it - it may not hav been fair. but when u release it - its an act of ur faith. 'berlapang dada', as mak always told me. u gotta believe in Qada' dan Qadar. u gotta say to urself day 'Allah, i trust U. U r in control. end even tho it din work out my way - U said dat all thgs r goin to work together for my good. so i believe U still hav somethg good in my future' to urself. try it. and u'll see how it is.

dat disappointment may not hav been fair - but its all a part of ur divine destiny. if u will let it go, and move forward  - then ur goin to come into somethg awesome dat Allah is about to do - not ordinary like u had planned, but extraordinary like He has planned.


a simple reminder for myself, dat is. u hav a great Monday, peeps!

Friday, February 17, 2012

et al.

A long week, for me. Many thgs came my way - some of em really do get on nerve. I am kinda yg kdg2 do take thgs seriously, so they do make me feel kinda shyte. Some of em - u knw; same shyte again and again - u started feel kinda numb and tired, really. Other than dat - some routine yg jst like - 'bring it on, and i will get it done - rite away'.

A weird, strange day - today. It aint like any other day. All i can do is 'tgk dr jauh' thru some updates and such. Darn i never feel dis way, God sake.

In a few weeks to come - there'll be more thgs come knocking. I gez - i jst hav to brace myslf well, open up my mind - and broaden up my horizon; for each thgs yg bakal terjadi, for each changes will come my way - will definitely giv a huge impact to me, my life, future and such.

Basically, aku yet to decide anythg at all - but till the time comes, i knw how it is.

Aku lapar. Sgt lapar. Haih.

posted from Bloggeroid

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

deeply, in love.

love is not about attraction - not about infatuation, not about lust, not about gift and the length of time u spend together. bottom line? theres no reason, at all.

true love is havin to wake up each day feeling so deeply in love and overwhelmingly happy - whenever dat person is around u. without even knowing y.

making u forget about the past, cherish the present and wishing the future wld be spending u lives - together entirely.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

the V-wat? haha

hi there!

hope u ppl doin fine. as for me - its kinda long day yeah. i had like 5hrs of lecture - mmg terik and perit tekak jadik nya. started from 11am to 1pm, and 2 till 5pm. but i enjoyed it well, i think. by 5pm - i packed my thgs - and left the building for the gym.

home by Maghrib. did some laundry, had my lite dinner. tot of settling down infront of the idiotbox - but finally aku ended up duduk dpn lappy la plak. hehe

i was on the net - FB to be precise now and then, today. theres a fuss about today - being as 14 of February. yeap - the Valentine Day. i respect those yg ada stance masing2 about it. but then again - being a Muslim; there a hukum about celebrating dis day, instead. after all the V Day, is jst a plain day for me. tak de pe pun. and its funny to see all those ppl yg mcm tadak ilmu - nak jugak pertahankan 'apa salahkan celebrate dis V Day' and such. siap korek sejarah et al. haha.. aku tak fhm. btol2 tak fhm. benda nya tadak isu pun - ko nak celebrate - ko pi la celebrate diam2. tp tka pyh la declare to the world dat ur celebrating, and showing off as if bangga sgt and such. hahaha.. kesian.

aku akui - aku tka la bagus mana sgt pun. esp when it comes to all dis kinda thang. tp bg aku - hukum is hukum lah. kalo ko tak nak ikut pun, ko diam2 je lah - tak pyh gedik2 nak go against it. watdya get actually eh? aku ada je stdnt2 non-Muslim yg wish aku wit dis V Day. and aku senyum je, and said 'thank you'. aku tak hate em for it, be it la.

bg aku senang je. u talk wit facts. if u dun hav any, if u dun knw a thang - u jst shut the hell up. by opening up ur mouth - basically u'll go telling the world world dat ur darn bloody lacking, and u knw nthg at all. and ath the end of the day - ur a laughing stock. i'd rather to shut up, and learn - before i properly open up my mouth. and talk.

but then again - dats human being la kot. so aku jst see, and had a big smile on my face je lah. it was like a big joke for the day, indeed.

Sunday, February 12, 2012

its a weekend!

i wanted to write smlm - but i din. and semlm was kinda great for me. its a personal achievement, i shall say. it mght not be dat grand - but it was darn kinda good thang for me. the aerobic went well - i received a lot of good compliment and such; even from the Pengarah and all the big-shoot. i dun giv it a shait if they din really mean it pun - but i took em all in a positive way. and Pengarah told me dat the Minister and suku-sakat was soaked wit sweat as well. hehe.. and the dancing-cum-persembahan went well, as well. and gez wat? i took part, too! i knw i hav no talent in menari-flashmob and such - but i did well, yeah. i mean - all of us did well. i cld hear the stdnts screamin out shait - callin my name and such. i was like.. wow.

and i thanked God since nama aku not selected for the Lumut aka gotong royong thang. after all the messy Perlancaran Cara Hidup Sihat kat kolej - a huge group off for Lumut, since bergotong royong at dis Kolej Jururawat there. Apiz had dis mulut panjang sedepa - since nama dia naik for the trip. Ameer pun. and me - like i care. i jst want my weekend in a proper way. as a weekend, dat is.


woke up at 6.30am - aku terus siap2 since dah janji dgn AJ - he's coming over nak tumpang for a jog and erobik kat Padang Polo. by 7am - we both alrdy on the road, and it was still kinda dark.

had a great time - sweat out - jogging 3 round besar, 1 round kecik plus erobik sejam. ramai jugak org minggu ni. and the cuaca was kinda terik - so berpeluh jgn ckp lar.. i had a good time, chatting wit AJ and such - since lama jgk tak jmpak AJ - until i had myself in dis situation. i cld swear to God dat aku passed by someone waktu jogging wit AJ, until aku paling belakang. at first - aku tak perasan. and aku gelak2 je bila AJ teased me to 'tgk dpn lar.. kang tersembam' kinda thang. i had dis strange deja-vu kinda feeling, but aku buat tak tau je.. until for the second time - i had dis eye-to-eye wit dat person - and i had some kinda blood rushin up to my head.

it was someone i knew years back. we had some thg in common. we shared thgs well. feeling and such. it was way back then - 12 yrs ago. i was naive. i din knw much. i think good thgs will stay, and i was wrong. i was left behind - wit nthg at all. my feeling. myslf. my everythg - i was left behind, as if i was nthg. 

but i survived. after like a year - stumbling upside down.

its weird to knw dat i am stronger, God sake. i was surprised, i cant lie about it. but then - its nothg. its like - empty. it was like as if i am stumbled into like everybdy yg aku jumpak kat tmpt jog tu. i knw dat person knew it was me, and i swear to God - i knew dta person as well.

and i am ok. i dun giv it a shait either. theres no hatred in me anymore.


went to the gym jst now. crowd bley tahan ramai. aku still kinda ehausted since ptg tadik aku jog kat tmpt yg sama. so aku decided to make it a 'legs day.. plus butt yeah'. and aku ended up keluar gym, wit my legs feelin like a Jelly-O. but then - aku puas ati.

done pressing baju keje for trow.  think i am gonna crash early la tonite.


Thursday, February 9, 2012


woke up way back at 4.30am - aku terus mandi. its a hot nite, hell yeah. alhamdulillah - since bilik aku occupied wit air-cond, the heat tak sgt terasa. tp by the time u stepped out of the room - u knw how it feels. since it was still early - aku jst did wat aku always do at time like dis - mandi, solat hajat and tahajjud, turun bancuh a mug of Nescafe, naik balik - lepak2 tunggu Subuh - aku read or browse or do watever yg aku tak sempat buat before sleep last nite. 

and pg ni - aku mls nak turun balik to be infront of the idiotbox - so aku online la kejap. blog pun dah lama tak ber-update. theres so many thgs to write, but as usual - since dah lama tertunggak, aku pun dah lupa wat to jot and semangat pun dah tadak.. theres so many thgs happened in between 1 - 8hb February, anyway. 

btw - sana sini ramai yg bercakap2 pasal Dang Suria and mulut dia (bukan bibir ya!) yg lbey kurang sama mcm kaki aku. hahaha.. i mean - agak longkang kot. aku tertengok dis one realiti show - On Air on Ria or somethg - nak cari pengacara or somethg, si Aznil, DS and erm - sape lagik sorang mamat neh.. aku tak ingat nama larr.. when DS dgn confident kutuk peserta yg agak 'sihat' to 'balik dan kasik ramping sikit badan..' plus 'muka tak ensem.. saya rasa kalo org tgk cenel dia pun, org akan tukar cenel..' kinda thang. i was like, damn! hahaha.. i knw dat will be another shait on the news.. and taraaaaaaaaaa.. u cna see ppl r talkin about it in FB and like everywhere.

the question is - kalo gemuk ke, muka pecah rumah ke.. is dat an option? ko mintak ke lahir wit such? i knw to be in dat kinda industry - u hav to hav the look - be it w'pun bodoh and tadak otak. i dun knw - u knw wat i mean.

and btw - Dang Suria.. hav u seen her new looks? hahaha.. watever happens to her lips eh? 

she's completely hideous. mcm ahli sihir.

shait. i am sorry. is dat hurt? darn i am jst tryin to be frank. haha.. ibarat kata.

u guys hav a good Thor-sday!

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

post-birdie.. :-)

had a great day, yesterday. started kinda lemau, but alhamdulillah - towards the end of the day.. thgs went well. there were so many surprises - and they were all pleasant kinda surprises alhamdulillah. started wit the students tutup lampu hall by the time aku masuk kelas - the slides wit my pics playing on the big screen, the wiggle-wiggle I am Sexy and I Know It song playing out loud - the wishes, the tiup lilin on the kek kinda thang.. aku was so.. i dun knw. happy is kinda under rated la kot. i mean - i am more than dat!

and by lunch time - there were more surprises coming in. the lunchie hr, the cupcakes at the receptionist. hahaha.. one big cheesy cake down, and i had another cuppies to go! :-)

as i kept on saying before - at dis kinda age - u dun need all thgs in the world sometimes. sometimes - a bit of appreciation wld be jst perfect. and dats wat i got for the whole day - today. the wishes - from the surprises lunch-out, from the SMSes, the calls (most of em semua masuk voice mail since line mcm harem), the Tweets, msges on the FB wall (damn! i gotta time replyin em all.. haha) et al. i feel so appreciated. darn i fell love is all around me.. :-)


so today - aku will be on the road - finishing up kerja yg tak habes semlm. kerja semlm yg aku tak settle since malas giler to do anythg at all, as Fina once said, 'ko duduk je la kat ofis.. ko kan birthday boi ari neh'. hahaha.. tp kalo aku settle jugak ari neh, mati lar.


theres nothg wrong of being nice in life - nice to everybdy, love em all, and treat ppl they they shld be treated. for i gez - wat u giv, u'll get back in return!

hav a pleasant day, ppl. love u!

the cheese kek from the stdnts.
wrong date, and yeah - wrong numbers! haha

the above r the white board yg aku dok conteng
time teaching - and they did the conteng dis time around..
see it if u can! kejis tak? hahaha

post-evaluation nyer kes,
they gav me dis.. so dat
'sir tak mau obses dgn pentas lagik!'
kinda thang. haha

and i love dis!

received dis early in the morn.,
someone sent me dis all the way from the north!
thanks, hehe

a lunch, a surprise one -
kat PappaRich Express Lost World of Tambun.

cupcakes my fav! darn sumer sedap.
ada statescope, syringes et al on em all.