cant sleep. throbbing headache. a nice combination, aye?
2hrs of classes dis mornin at 8 to 10, on Sociology. darn i cant wait to get rid of the hrs, really. i do hope the stdnts alrdy do some extensive reading, since aku dah bg outline topik awal2 lagik. and if they r not - i think i'll be blowing my top, God sake. dammit - i am not in a 'good shape' at time being. heh.
gez wat? aku terlupa nak press 'publish' to the above entry. and the entry was still there, waiting for me to publish. ok la - since aku need to vent out thgs now - better off aku do it now, rather than aku keep it in me and aku'll throw it on someone else's face nanti - ofkoz, ramai plak budak2 plus other ppl around me yg ada tendency utk diperlakukan sebegitu rupa pun. ermm..
aku masuk kelas at 8.10am - mmg time2 mcm tu aku masuk kelas, givin em about 10mins to get ready for the class and such. betul tudung, baju, tie, usik2 kwn pe jadah sumer. youngsters - watdya expect? tak cukup kat hostel - smpai ke dlm kelas pun nak bergurau sendu. sendu lah! heh.
a bit on intro, aku started the class well. kepala berdenyut, tak pe. semangat ngajar dah masuk bdn - i think i was doin fine, rite till bila mata aku ternampak dis one young man tersandar tgk aku, rite into me - thru me dat is - wit nothg on his desk. and to make thg worst, he had his two arms wrap up around his chest, well. aku was like, 'wow!'. ere i am standing and tryin my freakin best to deliver, and ur there tersandar mcm Prime Minister. so aku tnya - 'wheres ur notes?'. dia selamba biawak ckp, 'no notes'. where as all the others r havin some shait (be it - aku tak kisah.. asal desk tak kosong, and u hav pen/pencil in ur hand.. aku will shut the fcuk up) on masing2 nyer desk. and dis is ur talking to a first sem nyer bdk2 - yg hingus pun meleleh2 lagik. fine. aku asked him to bukak beg, get a paper and a pen, and scribble somethg. as for me - kelas aku simple. ko pandai ke, ko bodoh ke - sama je. nobdy is like a SpongeBob pun - can jst sit there and absorb. dats bulshait. u listen, u rite and u understand. dats the way u learn. and dis boi dah buat aku hangen sket.. pun tak pe.
after like 30mins - aku shooooo-ed em off for a take five.
after 5mins., aku started the class back - only to find theres 3 stdnts at the back there, sleeping still - terlentok mcm tengkok ayam kena semelih. and gez wat? dats it. aku suddenly - at the top of my lungs, screamed out shait. sebenarnya aku tak la marah sgt mana pun - tp aku dah been showing my good side to em all, al dis while.. and i think they shld knw my evil side plak now. let em knw dat i am not sort of flush toy they can simply play wit. i dun care if they dun respect me pun - for respect is not somethg dat u deserve - it is sthg dat u gain. so be it. aku panggil budak bertiga ni, beratur dpn aku - and aku perembat dorg out of my class. aku tak ckp byk. aku kalo marah - aku refused to talk. for if i do - nanti ramai yg benci aku. so aku switched of the mic. and aku blah. ada 3 - 4 ekor yg rushed ikut aku kuar hall, mintak maaf bagai. aku simply told em - aku need not to see anyone, and aku refused to entertain any such bulshait. gtew. drama tak?
tp dammit - aku mmg marah. geram. dah la aku pening. tak cukup tdo. demam tak kebah2 lagik. masuk kelas aku - buat perangai mcm c*pap. ko ingat aku berdiri kat dpn menyanyi lagu NegaraKu and put u to sleep ke? wtf.
aku tau - stimes all dis reflect on how u deliver. u as a lecturer, its ur responsibility to make the class interesting.. so far aku tadak masalah. kelas aku pagi ke, ptg ke.. most of the time, they r all fine - except kdg2 tu, of course la tak bley elak. perhaps aku psychologically tak stable la kot - sleep-less nite, headache. tmbh plak dgn budak2 yg mcm.. argkh. mls aku.
jumpak Ajak otw back to the ofc. rupa nya dia kat dewan sebelah. and dgr aku sawan wit the mic on. argkh! malu jap. but he was like, 'tak pe.. aku fhm.. jom ikut aku minum'. ni jugak another hal. nampak aku je, minum. haha.. ok la. at least aku tak minum sorg2 mcm semlm.
so far, tak de pe yg terbakar lagik. and tadak saper kena bunuh as well.
therefore - i think i am doin ok la kot, eh?