Monday, October 31, 2011


some of those, in some folder -
and i picked em all in radom.

another Monday morning. nothg to much ado of. sleepless nite, i watched the idiotbox till aku terlena, and woke up again.

hope thgs will get better as the day goes by. i mean - i am not jst hoping, and i am not relying on he day itslf to make thgs better - for i knw its up to me pun. its me who'll make thgs better, for myself. and nbdy else. ermm..

hav a pleasant Monday, folks. hav a fabulous one.

Saturday, October 29, 2011

U knw how it is..

I gez its true. It hurts, but its true. Truth hurts, as u mght say. We sometimes never knw we r doin so, pun.

I knw how it is. Trust me.

Thus i learn one thg for sure. I love those who loves me, cares for me. Appreciate those who appreciates u way better. I did blunder before, and i swear i wont do it again.

posted from Bloggeroid

Friday, October 28, 2011


Pushy ppl makes me sick. Being persistent suffocates me. If i lay my point crystal clear, yet u still bug me like shyte - gez wat - push me, and i mght push u away.

Dats wat i am dealing wit, dis coupla days. Sweet words come easy. I aint a kid. I dun believe in sweet words. I mean, in easy cheezy way. U wont go buying me wit dat. So, when i said no, i gez i hav made it clear lah. No, means no. I've said it it a good, gentle way. I've been nice too. And i hav made my stance clear. Darn i will stand my stance well lah.

So pls. Dun force me. I hav said wat i shldve said. And i knw u understand me well. Fyi, i am a human being alrite. U knw wat i mean.

As i said earlier - push me. And i mght push u away.

posted from Bloggeroid

Thursday, October 27, 2011


aku and Ajak kinda pissed off wit dis one senior. ckp mcm bagus. but everybdy knws keje mcm ampesh. jilat je dia tau. and belagak mak nenek. tahap Ya Rabbana. silap kitorang jgk - pi jolok sarang tebuan. i mean - literally tak la weolzz pi jolok sarang tebuan for real - tp sajer je umpan dia dgn isu yg sensitif sket. as xpcted - dia meloncat. meloncat byk - senang ckp. so there we were - both of us terkulat2 senyum mcm tertelan white-board. tp bila dia start condemning us yg junior neh - aku tgk telinga Ajak dah merah. so sebelum pe2 berlaku - sucha as senior hilang telinga, senior putus telinga and such - aku mintak diri, salam the senior elok2 and ajak si Ajak ni, blah from the scene. aku tau sgt Ajak neh - panas baran. w'pun Ajak nampak terkedu and blur sekejap dgn tindakan aku - dia ikut je. hahaha.. and dat senior tu pun mcm terkedu jugak - he was like 'eh, korang nak ke mana? aku belum abes berhujah' kinda thang. tp aku pedulik apa. lbey baik aku blah dr aku tgk siku Ajak terpacak kat dahi senior tu yg luas mcm epot Subang. malas aku.


doin my works, wit Celine at the background. its kinda nice to listen to her soothing voice, while doin thgs, i think. at least - no more repeat-peat-peat-pig-pig-piggy kinda thang. no no. i love dat peat-peat thang yeah, no doubt. but i need somethg better than dat, i think.

and dis one song really catch my ears well. its not like aku never heard of it - but dis time around.. its different. mcm terlbey sedap plak.

so ere it is - i'd love to share it wit u guys. mmg tadak suara, muzik bagai.. sila cari kat YouTube, ya!



finally aku can sit down and 'write' properly. i mean - the lappy, the me and such. dua tiga ari neh - aku did the posting using hp je.. ok lar, tp rasa 'kurang puas ati' tu ada jugak, since aku tau the posting wldnt be dat 'kemas' as aku do it thru the lappy. tak pe la - at least ada kemudahan, and aku able to do wat i wanna do, it shldnt be a problem.

reach the office lambat hari ni. 6am aku terjaga, and aku siap snoozed the alarm - 6.40am baru terhegeh2 nak bgun mandi bagai. by 7.20am - baru panas enjim kete an

d leaved the house. i was taking my sweet time since stndts still cuti Deepa, and skol pun byk yg cuti jugak.. malas aku nak rush2. and indeed - by 7.30am - aku dah smpai ofis, punched in and siap mampooo bley singgah beli kueh lagik.

now - its time to figure out wat to do - for the whole day, today. ISO by 31st - so aku kena settle coupla thgs yg blum settle. case clerking stdnts bertimbun atas meja -
gotta get doen wit em all, too today. schedule for next month - kena susun by trow jugak. lagik? haha

coupla bills, memo atas meja. and 4 ketul Eclairs of Cadbury wit em. kinda pelik - lately ada je jajan, biscuits atas meja aku. the best part is - benda2 tu 'wujud' tim
e aku tadak kat meja. risau jugak aku.. u knw at i mean. i mean - rezeki lah kan. tp.. ish. tak pe. nanti aku bg Ameer je. dia never says 'no'. hahaha


one thg about my hair. dah ok skang. aku can wax it, gel it, spray it at wish. tp one thang - aku selalu gatal kulit kepala, and scratching it like hell. i mean - most of the time after mandi la. thank God time kat office or while in public tak plak tergaru2. and aku real
ised it taxing my time la.. mandi, shampoo, dry it up, wax it et al. haish. rasa nak pi potong je la2 ni jugak. tp Cik Faridah my boss ckp i look nice wit hair. terus tak jadik nak potong rambut. cemaneh? hahaha.. time botak, nak rambut. time ada rambut nakk botak. tu la manusia, eh?

gotta go. aku keje ok! hehe

Enclair tinggal 2. bagi kat amoi si Ah Tan.
she said 'extra-sedap'.
abes la ko Tan, kena jampi.


Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Putrajaya, ujan!

Been raining all noon. And i hav been sleeping, again and again, mandi dah 3 kali, makan few times now - heavy, jajan et al. And i hav been watching the idiotbox, and the idiotbox pun did the same on me. Muak la lagu ni. Rasa nak balik pulak.

Ngantok balik. Cemaneh? Ujan plak lebat, Ya Rabbana.

posted from Bloggeroid

Jalan, again.

Otw to KL. Putrajaya to be precise. A short trip, a no hu-ha kinda trip. Its a fmly thang. Gotta settle thgs there, lepak a nite at in-laws, and esk aku balik Iph.. since Khamis aku keje, tho stdnts r not arnd.

At Sg Buloh now. A nice sunshine and a sunrise. Aku cld feel the warm as the ray of the sun hits my face alrite. Aku cld see the roads - traffics r building up. And dis uncle dpn aku berdengkur eversince dr Tapah lg. Sah2 aku tak lena tdo, but then again - aku jst layan je. All these beautiful petty lil thgs, jrg2 kita hargai yet we jst pass it by. So, wit the nthgness in my head - i am tryin to enjoy every bit of it - the sun, the sunshine, uncle dengkur et al.

And aku tak sbr nak smpai Putrajaya, aku need to qado the tdo.

Pleasant Tewwwsday, peeps!

posted from Bloggeroid

Monday, October 24, 2011

Mainland, now!

Byk lg pics dlm kamera aku. The above yg aku amek dgn kamera hp je.

Done wit the camp. I am tired. Sleepy as usual. Smlm 3am sthg aku still struggle nak tdo, arnd 4lbey bru lena. And the worst part is, after Subuh dah tak bley tdo. So aku off for a jog, breakfast, mandi2 and 8.30am aku dah kat pantai, prog kicked off.

Dah dlm boat. Rasa gatal tgn nak amek kamera and kuar ke roof feri. Tp malas. Sdp plak tsndar mcm ni, wit empty headed, dlm aircnd. Aku mght terlena je kang, mcm ni. Lmbt plak nak jalan feri neh. Aku lapar.

Shall smbg cti je trus esk. Thk of getting out from Iph.

Hav a gr8 off-days, ppl. And Happy Diwali.

Saturday, October 22, 2011


Done wit dinner, Maghrib and mandi. Now aku tsndar tgk tv. Tatau nak buat apa. The program start esk pg, tp aku saja je dtg awal2. Sng, tak berebut2.

Mght crash early tnite. Ngantok. Kenyang. Nthg much to do. Cant help thkg about my old previous trip ere, but then - dat was then.

Gnite, peeps.

Pangkor. Again.

Pangkor, again. Dis time arnd for a kem motivasi kakitgn skol menengah, where aku get invited. Starting trow, till Monday. Aku dpt plepasan bos aku, whch is.. wow. So, alang2 - aku amek cti trus redah raya Deepa.

Dlm feri. Ramai gler manusia. Pening aku. Lapar pun sama. Tdi time drive tak plak rasa nak berenti mkn bagai. Skang nyesal. Best lyn kepala time drive tdi to Sarah McLachlan nye album. I had my eyes on the road and my tot sparwling all over places. My 10yrs bck and such, my past dat mold me myslf as i am, now.

Aku lapar gler. Lmbt la plak smpai Jeti Pangkor. Heh.

Sat morn!

In bed still. And i cant close my eyes anymore. Yet i am sleepy, still. The thang in my head keep on running, darn i am tryin so hard to figure out mcmana nak switch off jap the paler otak aku, so aku wld rht for a while. And the worst part is - aku ada kelas esk, 4jam. And its Saturday. By 1pm, kena rush ke Pangkor, attending a motivation camp rite till Monday morn. Haish.

Gotta paksa myslf to tdo for a while, sblm Subuh masuk, nak iron bju and siap2 to work.

I am missing someone termendously. I dun knw if its alrite. And i dun knw if aku je yg over la plak, in dis bldy thang.. Ermm

Thursday, October 20, 2011


by 6.30pm - aku reached home. the tot of goin to the gym to get my endorphin up high and perk me up - was utterly not workin, for aku stuck wit some kinda freakin.. i dun knw. but as i told u before - i aint got whole world of time to spend kat gym pun. and hr or two - aku wld go utilized it well, work out, get sweat, hi hi a bit and off i go. but today - ever since aku stepped on the treadmill - dis one guy sebelah aku asek nak bersembang, askin dis and dat - w'pun aku dah put my earphones on - but he seemed cldnt get it well. nak je aku jerkah - tp aku tak pun. so by the time aku berpeluh and get done wit the treadmill - aku blah.
only then thgs changed. a call aku received - changed the whole shait. it was nthg. jst a simple talk - a small talk, from someone whom i love the most.. enuff to put a broad smile on the face. and aku walked into the shower - stilll wit smile from ear to ear. it was nice to wind up ur whole freaking, crazy day - by jst tlakin to someone special - they need not to ask wats the problem and such, but jst a simple phrase such 'apasal lemau je ari neh?' pun dah enuff. i mean - more than enuff. a bit of jokes and such. darn i wldnt asked for more.

off to surau lepas Maghrib. ada ustaz mlm ni. lama dah aku tak dtg surau.. heh. aku hope it is not more than 40days lar, eh? gelap hati weh! and after Isya' berjemaah - aku singgah mamak for a simple supper dgn Ajak and Ameer. it was good to be in no-work-attires mode wit ur own frens, minum2 and chatting over thgs yg got nthg to do wit work, God sake. 

gonna hit the sack, soon. gnite, peeps.

and yg kat down under nun - enjoy! and take care.


nothg much. dragging myself out of the bed as usual. gloomy day. nothg much in the ofc as well. day in. and day out. routine. same faces. same thang, same old shait.

i feel like talking to someone. dialed a number to no answer. and there was an answer - ppl r workin today, watdya expect? i keep my phone in the drawer, so i need not to see it. stupid, but it helps.

OSCE done by lunch. dun feel like goin out. it is rainin out there - yeah, raining during the lunch time. very rare. but dat it happening now. 

few thgs in mind. Izani tak layak exam - he went missing wit no news, and duit kelas - huge amount - jst like dat. talking to Pengarah din help a bit pun. and aku kena face the 92 stdnts yg lain - yg basically put the blame on me for wat happened. aku rasa kesal. marah. geram. dgn diri sendiri - ofkoz. aku still cant believe Izani yg rapat dan baik dgn aku tu - did dis to me. i gez - stdnts, will always be stdnts. 

but life goes on. 

called from a head-hunter. somethg to think about. i dun knw. i jst dun knw.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

mid of the week yeah!

sexy thang 


tdo awal smlm. by 8.30pm aku kinda drowsy and by 9ish - aku remember walked up to the study room, get my hp charged and off aku crash the MuMuLand. i cant remember anythg at all - its been ages since aku had dat kinda feeling.. wanting to sleep like a log, and i slept like one. its like aku been hit by a Stilnox and aku cant remember a single thang.

by 4am - aku tersedar. ada bunyi kucing ngomel2 kat luar tingkap aku. mmg bilik belakang tu, aku selalu bukak tingkap sket, for the ventilation sake. and time tido aku tarik langsir.. bila aku checked - there were like 4 ekor kucing dok lepak2 atas bumbung, rite dpn tingkap aku tu.. tp tak plak nak masuk rumah ke aper.. and by the time aku jengok paler luar tgkp, they were like lepak je.. tak lari tak apa. and aku remember aku did nthg - aku jst blah masuk washroom, amek wuduk and solat Isya'. and by the time aku siap - aku pi tgk balik kat tgkp - and they were gone. i was like.. err

dah smpai ofc. pack day, today. OSCE all day dat is. MAMD plus MANS. haish.

gonna be a long week dat is. i jst cant wait for the weekend. another beach-and-sea kinda thang. supposedly 2 weeks in a row - for a different reason; but aku kena cancel the next week trip, since kena hadir sort of seminar. 

hav a pleasant day ahead. for those who r goin off for a travel - let ur love ones knw ur whereabouts, before u hit the road.  for if ur back in one piece - thank God. but if ur not - u knw wat i mean. my stupid 2 cents anyway! haha


Sunday, October 16, 2011

3yrs now!

driving on the highway in a heavy downpour, terkedek2 around 100km/hr is not somethg dat i want to, God sake. but alhamdulillah, aku smpai jugak - tho it takes like forever. aku used to take like 35mins shj from Kamunting rite to Jelapang, wit 140 - 150km/hr. and dat makes me feel good, hell yeah. but - not tonite. i had  a great time at kak ngah's - the food, the mak abah, the idiotbox, the minimons - its heaven. plus - i need somethg to get myself bz wit.

owh, btw - on the last 14th Oct., its been 3 yrs since aku on FaceBook. its been a while, aye? 3yrs of good time, good frens, good ppl and such. 3yrs of so many thgs, all in. aku kenal few important ppl at the first month - Shazharn, Abg Bear and all. aku kenal Pinkie, Azman Abdullah, Zaama, MT, Bahar et al on the second yr - and aku instantly click to em, damn well - even now. we share bad times, good times, laughter and such. together. and aku kenal Ikhwan, Ghaz on the 3rd yr, and we r good frens as well, now. i was kicked out of some ppls' lists, i was blocked by a few and many more. i did spring cleaning for so many times - each time aku rasa serabut wit the dormant list in it. i had fake profile like 3 times - some freaks used my pics for their own ease. and i had the scariest moment - someone went build up a fake profile kat one of the website yg aku sendiri tak de membership - and my email, my phone started to ring like shyte. i had so many nice ppl dat i knew, dat i've met yg aku kenal thru FB. and more than half from the list - aku tak pernah jumpak pun - but we r good frens. some of em walked into my life, and walked out.. leavin some marks permanently in me. some jst walked in, and leave jst like dat. but some stay..

i am no angel. i did some silly mistakes - like everyday in life. and so forth in FB. i've hurt ppl in there as well. they said dat they forgive me, but they dun forget. and i gez - i am ok wit it. i admit the mistakes. like others - everybdy do mistakes as well. and still - aku move on wit life. 

and aku still remember coupla pics yg aku uploaded into the FB - and suddenly, aku had like dozens of ppl requesting to be a fren. haha.. those were the days, eh?

3yrs, and counting. i deactivated the account coupla times - for so many reasons. and one day, i mght as well had it off for good, for i dun want it to be there - hanging in the cyberspace - when ur no longer breathing the air, alrite. u knw wat i mean.

after all - i am blessed. i stumbled into a lot of nice ppl in there. and i had few special ones, as well - still.. and one of em all - is the bloody best, hell yeah. and they still around me, alhamdulillah. thru thick. and thin. 


Saturday, October 15, 2011


had nthg to do, aku try nak kemas my stdy room. bilik stdy aku yg bersepah ni. since aku abes stdy like a yr back, bilik ni jadi bilik bertenet je. all the journals, buku-buku aku dah susun elok atas rak dis and rak dat, and these a lot more still dlm kotak - tak aku bukak2 lagi, sejak aku pindah masuk rumah ni. bertangguh2. and tonite, i am tryin to at least kemas sket pun dah ok.

aku bukak dis one kotak - penuh dgn cds, cassettes lama2. aku jumpak a stack of Mariah Carey's. all her ori cd's, and few of collections yg aku beli kat pasar mlm. out of nthg - aku layan je all her old songs.. which reminds me a lot of thgs, of coz. her Everything Fades Away, Love Takes Time, her Music Box album. i was like carried away for a while. rite till her Memoirs.. the HATE U and such.

aku ended up put a few out of the box, and put all the rest back rite in where it belongs, and push the box back to a corner.

not tonite.

she's darn pretty, aye?
and she wears no topi besar.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011


aku cuci kereta at 4am in the morn. i mean - both of the cars. for the sake of i cant sleep. sound stupid aye? it is. and now aku yawning like hell, and feelin so groggy. i cant blame it myself anymore - its my brain dat keep on marching up and i cant find any 'button' to 'switch it off', dammit.

sometimes in life - we do thgs we wanna do w/o further thinkin - the reason. the consequences. i mean - it is nice to somehow, sometimes in life - u do thgs at whim, and forget about the out-come. but then again - we r no man island. everythg dat we do - will always has sort of consequences on ur own self, and others as well.

need to start do my thgs, now. and be at KTM before noon.

hav a pleasant day ahead, peeps.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011


woke up at 4am, i cant be sleepin anymore. did some reading - dis and dat, coupla mags yg aku beli few months back - tak abes2 baca lagik. theres nthg on the phone, nothg on the net and nothg on the idiotbox as well - by 6am; aku dah siap Subuh and decided to masuk ofc lambat today - aku had like so many off-hrs to claim, yet to take pun. 7am - aku dah on the treadmill, doin a bit of a cardio. dah 3 - 4 ari away from the gym, cukup buat aku catchin up breath like hell. and aku decided its a shoulder day. plus lower limb. hate it, but i jst hav to.

by 11am - aku dah kat ofc. tak ramai lects around pun - i gez masing2 bz wit own biz. Ameer pun tak nampak, Ajak et al kat atas - mls plak aku nak call cari. so - aku lepak je kat tempat aku, finish up thgs yg aku shld be doin since semlm - but i wasnt. so - QAP siap, markah bdk2 aku dah key-in, schedule aku dah susun elok for the rest of the month. alhamdulillah - i managed to get thgs done, and aku really need em all siap before end of dis week.

gloomy day - in and out. hardly talk to anyone pun, tho God knws i really need to. i mean - i do, but its not like i used to. its different. theres a huge thg in me, i need to vent out - but i dun knw how. i jst dun knw how. theres so many questions to ask - yet i aint sure if its relevant. and if it is need to be ask pun. i gez dis is jst me - i kinda hard to open up, really. i want to - but i jst dun knw how. i am so scared to be judged. i dun knw. i mght as well ended up bottle thgs up - and sleep on it.. as usual.

maybe i shld stop thinkin abt shait. maybe i shld do somethg to get rid of all dis bulshait in my head. and maybe.. 

damn i am goin home now.

Monday, October 10, 2011

after the rain..

..wats left behind?

the above shoots aku amek on last Sunday - semlm pagi, dat is - after the rain stopped around Subuh. tak bley tido lagik dah post-kacau dek all the mons-mons; aku decided to tawaf around rumah mak abah looking for wat ever thgs yg mght attract my attention. i knw the subjects will be the usual one - nothg to much a do of - nothg grande, and nothg international pun.. but i am lovin em all. tho they mght be the same - all i do hope was i am improving well, wit every shoots.

hope u do like the above. 


g'morning, peeps!

reached the ofc early dis morning. aku lupa my own schedule - s/ada aku ada kelas or not. so - aku was like rushing looking out for my planner - tertinggal dlm kete rupanya. kena menapak turun ke basement balik. sgt kejis. alhamdulillah - thru out dis whole week - aku tadak kelas.. cuma OSCE to run starting dis 13hb, and more clinical visits to attend - which means, aku will ended up driving more rather than sitting up str8 mcm Tugu Negara kat ofis. better off.

so today - i'll deal wit new batch of stdnts yg posting to clinical area in Psych Ward at 8am, and then i will off (again) to Hospital Kuala Kangsar/PKD Kuala Kangsar plus Hosp. Sg. Siput and KK Sg Siput there.. for the usual clinical visits/teachings. to be frank - aku liat sket when it comes to clinical teaching in hospitals.. bukan pe - the surrounding, bz and such. kalo Klinik Kesihatan best sket - rileks, lepak, and i can take my time accessing the stdnts.

stimes thgs r hard to say it out. not sure how to make it simple. and stimes - even if u tried - bosan since org buat2 tak fhm, or mmg tak fhm. so better off left unattended je la.. w'pun deep in u - darn i hate wit all dis unsettled thgs.

hav a great Moan-Day, ppl!

Sunday, October 9, 2011

a Sunday, dat is.

Good morning!

Raining all nite. Subuh baru berenti. And i cant sleep after Subuh. Budak2 ni awal2 pg lg dah cari aku, nak join tdo. Ended up tak bley tdo, lyn dorg berAngry Bird. Tensi.

Mak buat tosei. Plus kuah kari sardin my bloody fav. Kak Ngah goreng bihun, wit kicap chabai potong. All these buat aku sawan way early in the morn. Imagine dis - tosei garing2, kuah kari sardin wit ubi kentang and tea o panas2 big mug. Darn aku tergolek post-breakie mcm dugong nan chumil. Tetap kan?

Teman mak pi pasar kat Selama. Wet market dat is. Sthg euw-ish to me, tp mak dah ajak.. pi je la. Mak beli ikan sayur kat dlm, aku ngulat kat luar. Haha.. Mak senyum2 je. She knws.

Nasik krabs for lunchie. Bdk2 neh awal2 lg dok berlari2 kat luar kejar2 bola. Hingaq ya rabbana.

And i love all these!

posted from Bloggeroid

Saturday, October 8, 2011

kat kg, yay!

Finally aku kat kampung. The feeling of being able to see mak abh and minimons is beyond cerita-able. Mak masak mcm2 - giler aku kenyang. Matilakugemut.

posted from Bloggeroid


some of others - i do believe i took all the above using my handphone nyer kamera je - time tu tadak lagik kamera bagak2 ni. so - aku snapped sesuka suki je la.. some of the above - i've been looking fof it for yrs now, and i thanked to the sleepless nite - dah jumpak weh! 

kena simpan dlm proper folder, eh?