i cant sleep thru out the nite. i was tossing up and down - finding a way to get my eyes a lil bit of rest; but i dun find a way of doin it well. i remember drifting a way a bit ere and there, but again and again - i woke up wide awake and i cldnt close my eyes back again. by 3am - i gav up. i walked down, and i was rite in front of the idiot box - till 5am, not remembering wat i was watching, for i dun really giv it a heck about wat was on pun..
if theres anythg dat'd disturb me - i gez its only one thang. thgs dat i've done. and thgs i've said. i am quite sure of wat i did, but i am not for thgs i've said. i never ever blurted out thgs in a way - rude, and very harsh. but i gez - i jst hav to. been keepin thgs in me - bottled up, and its eating me rite away. i need to say it out. i need to vent it out - for betterment. i knw i am not good either. but somethg has to be done. it has to be somewhere to start thgs out - in a good way. in a way it shld be. i never raised up my voice - dat easily. but i did.
i still sort of havin the sore in me. i dun knw how to put it - but the feelin of numb, worries. all in at one time. i knw thgs wont be the same after dis. i'll be back to the old days. God knws how i wish i cld stay. and hav the whole thg as it is.
wat a day to start wit dis shait.
u hav a pleasant day.