finally i am back to the office - try to continue few thgs yg aku left behind by the time aku left the building, since aku hardly stand the suffering of havin ur own tummy growlin like shyte.
aku hit for the nearest 7E, lookin for some roti and canned Nescafe - dats the least yg aku cld think of.. i was kinda hugry, i feel like i wanna eat somethg, yet aku dun really knw wat to look for - w'pun kedai makan bersepah2 around where i at. aku ended up havin Cadbury's Picnic je, and Mocha Nescafe. caffeine again. havin those in my hand, aku blah dr 7E - i was like thinkin y on earth plak aku had those to eat - for a lunch.
but then - dat was not the real thing dat really strikes me. i think a lot about a lot of thing, really. but somethg happened in front of my eyes - leave me wondering.
theres one old Malay man - really old, around 70's i think.. looked so unkempt, standing by the sideway kat 7E tu - hoping dat i might catch him in my eyes, and smile - so dat he cld start some kinda conversation. he smiled at me - and i cant help smiling back at him. i mean - a plain, so so kinda smile. the kinda smile u gav to someone yg ko tak kenal.. kinda thg like dat. and to my surprise - he greeted me, shivered a bit. and he asked for some money. he was like, 'seringgit pun tak pe encik - boleh beli roti..', 'pakcik tak makan lagi..' and i was like coupla steps away from him. aku dengar him well, and i continued walking. but somethg in me told me to stop. and look behind. he looked so sad. unkempt. pathetic. his eyes was so kusam - he avoided lookin at me in the eyes. and aku bukak wallet aku - hand out some money, and leave. aku din turn back. but i cld hear him sayin, 'terima kasih encik.. terima kasih', 'alhamdulillah..' and such.
aku masuk kereta, about to leave when aku tgk cermin belakang kereta and aku saw him - tryin so hard nak kick-start his moto Honda kapchai - so old dat tak bley start pun, and dia nampak penat sgt.. i was there for a while, until finally he squatted down beside his Honda, wit both hand closing his eyes.. aku tak sanggup lagik dah nak tgk, reversed kete and aku blah.
and now - back in the ofis - aku cant help thinkin, damn aku shld be stopping the car and help him out. maybe aku cld do more than jst bagi duit and blah. perhaps i am a dumb when it comes to all dis moto kete thang - but maybe i cld do more to easy his burden. and maybe..
and otw back tadik - aku picked up the phone and telepon mak, asking dis and dat - sampai dia rasa pelik. aku nak je cerita to her wat i went thru tadik - tp, biar lah.. it was nice to listen to her laughing away, telling me itu ini. God i swear i wont let mak abah be dat way - no matter wat it is. they r both dat all dat i hav in dis world - for em both, i cld see thgs around me, for em both - i am where and wat i am now. and aku cant help rasa a bit sdey dgn nasib pakcik tadik.
damn. i think the caffeine is kickin in. i cld feel the nagging, plain headache now shait.