reached home by 3am last nite - aku cuma hav like 1.5hrs of sleeping, before the alarm screamed shyte out at 6am. done wit Subuh - iron baju keje and siap2 - the dizziness, tiredness and a bit of body aching was like all in me; making me kinda confused - shld i or not proceed and head to work. but eventually - i did.
i shldve off for Pantai Remis, Beruas and Parit dis morning - when only then i realized aku had like a few meetings to attend. 2 of em, initially - when the bloody big-shoot suddenly called up for another 2 more - since he wont be around for coming coupla days. aku ended up sitting in 5 meetings, all together - in a day. and u call dat as a bloody freakin productive day? kiss my arse.
the so-called meetings, as usually - they aint meetins after all; they r more likely mcm briefing je. u knw wat i mean. a place where u can find others' faults, a place where u can show off like 'see wat i've done - ur a silly asre for u cant do thgs like me', somethg like dat. u hav to hav ur arse sit down and listen to all kinda shyte, big-shoots being too big for their own bloody boots, and making up all these small petty thgs turned out to be damn fcukin gigantic - u started to puke all over places. i am sorry - i believe in less talk, and do work more. all dis silly so-called meetings r useless. unless ur kinda moron idealistic - thinkin high and u dun even knw how to put em all into reality. i gez - the higher jawatan ko, the idiot ur. the higher jawatan kot
- the higher ur aiming for; u start to forget about the ground ur standing on.
by 4.30pm - aku was so tired. mentally exhausted. all dis minit mesyuarat aku jst left em all on the meja kat bilik aku, jst like dat. nanti2 la aku tgk balik. aku jst hav one thg in mind - i wanna walk out from the office, and sweat my tense out. and i did. at the end of it - aku felt kinda breathless, yet satisfied.
it aint kinda good thang for me - for the past coupla days. many shyte happens, aku was tested, again. all dis left me searching for where i really am - standing for. i wanna be real. and i wanna thgs around me - to be real as well. i need no shyte. i hav no time for one, God sake.
i am easily get tired wit so many thgs lately. and i mght giving up at any time at all.