masuk keje a bit lambat ari neh - gara2 aku terpaksa ke HBI very early in the morn. heh, count on me - it is somethg dat i wont go talk about it in ere, anyway. by 7.45am - aku dah kat ofis. aku sepatutnya spending time (again) on the road - for more Klinik Kesihatan dis mornin.. but i need to settle coupla thgs, and Mr Bong mintak aku jumpak dia - first thg in the morn.
around 10am, aku kuar for a breakie dgn Fina, Ameer and Apeez. the same thg they were talkin as Ameer told me, semlm. since i was not in the meeting last week - nama aku was mentioned for so many times regarding coupla thgs, plus sort of questioned on aku nyer ability to handle a group of stdnts yg baru daftar last January. and to my surprise - Pengarah was the one yg chaired the meeting. and of course - dis silly thg wont go on w/o the Timbalan Pengarah around - who was known for his 'generosity' in spending time, in lickin up ppls' arse, hell yeah.
so - thru out the makan2 thang; aku diam and dengar je la.. and finally - balik je ofis, aku decided to go confront the Pengarah himself for 'is there anythg dat i shld knw or is there anythg, anythg at all dat u wanna tell me - so i can improve myself well' kinda thg like dat. as expected - aku cld see Pengarah's face yg a bit uneasy and terkejut - perhaps, he never think i'd boldly enuff to walk into his room and ask such thang. bg aku nthg biggie pun nak terkejut2 ala2 MGR dlm filem Tamil. and one thg yg aku tak suka is - talkin shait at my back.. when aku not around. wat r they try to prove? feelin superior by able of doin dat? heh.
so - thru out lbh kurang dlm sejam aku kat bilik Pengarah tu - byk le isu naik. and aku puas ati bila aku managed to vent out all shait in me - and he seems to understand. as usual - Pengarah will go mushy-mushy, beating around the bushes wit words and such.. again, silap besar. aku remember tellin him off dat 'if ur tryin to reverse psycho me - thanks a lot.. for i wont buy it anyway' and 'thank u for ur such sweet words'.
aku walked off from Pengarah's room wit a clear mind. aku managed to clear up my chest well. yet aku cant help feelin sick and sympathy wit all those idiots around him who gain live by twisting up stories, makin up stories, tryin to prove others as a moron by spreading sort of shait around, talkin while someone is not around, and bloody double-faces. all dis backtabbing and office politik-ing r makin me sick and buat aku hilang mood nak buat anythg at all. and basically, aku geram dgn Timbalan Pengarah yg sah2 tak de keje, but love to poke around and making mess out of simple, petty thgs. making assumption mcm org bodoh yg tak sekolah.
aku ok je. tak kudis pun mende2 neh. tho as Ajak said time dis selisih dgn aku kuar ofis Pengarah like 'nape ko muka mcm cipap je?' kinda thang - but i am ok now. as someone told me - all dis bulshait mana2 pun ada. dpn ckp lain, blkg ckp lain. its normal. its like everywhere. its life's like dat.
part and parcel i think. i wont go melatah tak tentu hala. i gez i jst need to be strong - stand on my stance well. and do wat i shld be doin, good.
some ppl they knw they dun hav anythg, at all. so to gain somethg - at least 'better' than others - dats wat they do; downgrading others, makin ppl's life miserable.