Thursday, September 30, 2010
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Monday, September 27, 2010
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Friday, September 24, 2010
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
awakenings r such a wonderful thgs.. the day u truly see urself for who ur and wat ur - is an experience dat is both so extremely personal and unrivaled by any other. any one who've went thru dis wld knw how it feels. damn it feels like no other.
it lets u see where ur, and compare dat to where u want to be. then - the planning and time come in..
i've been floating along, for a long time. experiencing both challenges dat i am not up for, and thgs dat i hav to take care of. thru it all, i've discovered thgs about myself. and others as well.. some dat i'm not happy about. but dat i need to realize and understand.
most of the time - i need ppl around me. i aint a one-island man. i cant stand alone, God sake. i realize most of the time - i count on others to build me up, to tell me when i am doin thgs rite.. sometimes to tell me when i'm succeeding, but - while i want someone to love me in a certain way, sometimes - dat cant be. dat doesnt mean they dun love me the best they can considering the circumstances.
every person has an agenda.. in all of their relationships, their life - working or personal side of it. at the very basis of it all - ur either the teacher, or the student. every acquaintance will be outgrown, and only true frenshp ad honest loves, will remain.
a true fren will be there in the good times and the bad times.. b'coz in everybdy's life - there are bad times hell yeah. the only thg different - is the scale dat it is measured on.
ur a Rambo,
but the bottom line is - we r all Rambo. fighting our own wars. each war is personal.. mine will definitely, never completely mirror someone elses. but i need ppl who r goin to be around for the good times, as well as the bad times. for i can assure u - dats wat i am gonna be.
i dun need fair weather frens.
i am still waiting. and it feels like ages. its torturous. but its gonna be worth it, i knw. be it if its even less then 12hrs.
for i know, it is gonna be worth it.
crashed at 11.30pm, at 4.30am - i alrdy out of the bed, wondering y on earth i was alrdy wide awake - while ppl r still enjoyin their journey in their own kinda land. seein no reason tossin up and down, strungglin to get myself back to sleep - aku bangun iron baju, pack my thgs and mandi2 while tunggu Subuh.
i feel kinda better now. yeah - hit ur sack wit a bit of empty-headed post-ventilating ur shait out.. damn - nthg cldve been better than dat.
and today - i wish thgs gonna be alrite. i only hav 1 hr on invigilating and off i go after dat. the truth is - i cant wait for today - i've been waiting for dis, counting days and hrs for dis, as well..
at least it is somethg dat i am lookin up for - wld make me feel better to go thru the whole day insyaAllah.
wake up u sleepy-head! g'mornin, peeps!
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
those ppl arent u. u hav front row seats to yr own transformation, and in transforming urself - u might even transform the world. wow. really? pretty much as if ur delusional! and it will be electric, and i promise u it'll be terrifying! embrace dat; embrace the new person ur becoming. dis is ur moment. i promise u - it is now, now - not two minutes from now - not tomorrow, but really now. own dat, know dat deep in ur bones. and go to sleep every nite knwing dat - wake up every morning remembering dat. and then.. keep goin.
owh, gross. i aint a kiddo. u aint gonna get me by spending me all those above sweet words. if u think u gonna buy me wit all dat - jst remember - to whom ur talking to. damn i can do better than dat. hell better, yeah!
it aint a a great day for me. i had no classes to run, and supposedly i had no clinical teachin to deal wit as well. but somethg unexpectedly comes up - and screwed up my whole day. i dun knw how to explain - but one thg for sure; i started to feel i hate wat i am doin for life, now. and i started to consider of turning a new leaf - somewhere else.
wish i cld talk about dis wit someone, God sake. but lately - i kinda feeling left out. i dun know. cld be my plain stupid feelin. my workmates - they knw where and when to find me - if they r in deep shait. and even when i need to talk to even one of em, i ended up doin the listenin still - and it left me wonder; saper yg ada masalah neh? dammit. its kinda sad to be me! i look around - for someone i cld talk, i cld share thgs wit - everybdy r like, well.. they do hav live as well. and i ended up crashing at home during the lunch hour, wit the feelin as if theres a big lump of shait hangin over my head.
so ere i am - dumping all shait in ere. dis blog wont talk back to me. it wont go askin me to listen to it pun. or complaining, hell yeah.
think i shld put it a stop in ere. i need to hit my MumuLand now - wishin thgs gonna be alrite, wit the mornin sun.. insyaAllah.
Monday, September 20, 2010
Sunday, September 19, 2010
and fcuk me - aku lupa nak bwk tripod. sure ada yg leter aku nanti, 'beli tripod mahal2.. tp tak pakai' kinda thang. sorry la. cheQ tak plan pun. bila time low shutter speed tu - tgn aku terketar2 nak hold still the kamera. kejis, kan? so - hasil nyer pun tak seberapa lah! heh.
hope to do more wit dis, bila2.
mean while - enjoy Ulu Chepor!
Scientists have long known that some fish are able to switch their sex, either spontaneously or when exposed to steroids. This led them to suspect that a subset of the population of cells in male fish that normally become sperm, called spermatogonia, might be stem cells that have the potential to become either sperm or eggs.
imagine bein able to change gender at will. wow. dat'd be grouse. owh, really? ermm.. imagine a trip to the supermarket cld become a mere bagatelle - foot on the accelerator, swear at the other bodoh-nyer drivers, get there quickly. and yeah - change into a gal and blink, and smile at other drivers until u get a real bloody good parking spot ahead of the other line. or perhaps - exactly kat btol2 depan pintu masuk of the mall - so u need not to walk far. like most of us love of doin.. kejis! change back into a bloke, grab a trolley and charge thru the store takin only wat u need. read - only wat u need to buy. not those look like nice-to-buy. back to a female while u stand in line thumbin thru the magazines to catch up on wats happenin in Hollywood. or Bollywood. or Bradwood? reading Mangga. or URTV. yikes! heh.. mana-mana lah. then back again - become a man to pay the groceries and carry em all to the car. drive home via a gal fren's house and select ur gender based on wat u feel like doin there when u get there.. (wow! dis really makes me thinkin.. ermmm.. shait! haha). get home and cook like a gal - make urself a kek batik (err.. ampun!), eat like a man, and sleep like a log. or rock. or baby - if u wanna be a gal then.
shait. not bad aye? how wld *you* use ur newly gained power to gender bend?
heh. can i write more? dammit i had a lot in mind, God sake. haha
woke up early today. nothg much - mandi, solat and make myself a big mug of Nescafe - be it la, lama tak pekena Nescafe.. after all - its Sunday and i am gonna stay back at home je ari neh.. thinkin of goin off for a jog soon and a bit of aerobic kat Padang Polo again - today, wit AJ. semlm - i was kinda havin fun - tak ramai org kat Padang Polo - and the aerobic session held by MBI was a real nice one, yeah! high-impact for the whole 1 hr., i was like all over the floor! pancit la jugop. haha.. but the jog - aku managed to finish up.. well, its good enuff for me, let alone when everybody is dealing wit the post-raya syndrome - the malas thang, the fat, the food, the sempret-gu gu kinda thang. but as for me - cukup2 la raya..
aku had like 200 pics take smlm - kat Ulu Chepor. tak mandi pun semlm - aku let the minimons did their thang, while aku when around snapped pics. still tryin to manipulate the slow shutter kinda thang - and fcuk me - aku lupa nak bwk tripod. heh!
its 6.30am, think i gotta run. 7am nak kuar dah. see u around.
and yeah - hav a blast Sunday, peeps!
Friday, September 17, 2010
somebdy loves u, woke up wit u, wit a bang and a bug on yr face, it crawled in yr mouth and gav u a taste of the good life u left behind - but i think ur gonna be just fine and ur gonna make it thru dis naggin malaise - it is more than a phase, trust me; it feels like a job - but no boss ever pays u to lay down there n think how u'll die!
and while the tears start to well in ur eyes; trust me there's people out there loves u n ur gonna make it thru one more year alrite - even more to come, all thru the nite. u've got to be sure when u turn out dat lite dat its goin to turn on again..
u gonna make dis thru. the nite and the rest of the days. the world is - aint a bad place, afterall.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
it used to be 'papan', now'papan' no more..
and i used to play there,
a lot too!
kita pi Zoo Taiping plak!!
sebut je Taiping, teringat Zoo..
Taman Tasik, Taiping.
i am done doin thgs at home today. aku dah settled kan longgok debris/batu/saki-baki simen rumah kat ruang tepi rumah aku neh.. 5 - 6 kali aku pusing naik moto pi buang all those batu/simen.. done cuci bilik2 air aku, kemas rumah pe patot.. yet bilik bwh tu - tak jugak berkemas2.. kemas sket la.. tp buku byk sgt aku tatau nak letak mana. done wit all those - aku dah penat. thinkin of doin more - but by 1pm - aku dah start thinkin of lunch, mandi, solat and tido!
havin sort of headache still. malas. semlm aku tak bley tdo pun - i did some readin instead kat bawah.. managed to settled off quite a number of magazines yg tak terbaca-baca, w'pun dah backdated; Reader Digests, Digital Camera, Nat Geo., Mens Health and few more.
its Happy Malaysia Day. and the most important thg - its a holiday. damn i wish i cld hav more days like dis.. erm, Malaysian and all those Public Holidays. we r darn lucky aye?
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Monday, September 13, 2010
pak cik and the kids,
pak long and the others..
Sarah and Kimie aka angah.
we had fun there - tho aku and cik had kinda tuff time nak kepung budak2 neh yg lari bertempiaran mcm kena kejar antu raya.. most of the time - cik dok kalut dgn Sarah dia je, leavin me and Areeyna terpaksa tgk2kan all other minimons. tp aku syok tgk budak2 neh let loose - lari ere and there like nobdy biz. nak je aku join sama.. heh.
aku cancel off sumer plan esok ari - i jst wanna stay back home. its b'coz 'kawan' si Soleh adik aku yg bongsu ni nak dtg.. yeah - dis is aint ordinary 'kawan' - its a gla.. special one! wah!! ampeh aku langsung tak di beritahu pe2.. mak plak yg cerita kat aku.. time aku 'soal siasat', Soleh sengih2 jer.. kejis ko Soleh! dah tgk gambar - wah, chanteks!
cik and family dah balik. angah and family pun dah balik.. dat means all the minimons r not in, anymore.
damn i feel so senyap sunyi la pulak.. :-(