Sunday, January 31, 2010

the morning dew.























my second experimenting on erk - on morning dew wit frens, of coz. i am glad havin the chance catching dis all, rite after the sun was like.. around 8am in the morn. gigih neh - sanggup skip the sleepin after Subuh jst to make sure i get em all, rite.


i jst love seein the morning dew. they damn fresh. new. i gez they do mean a lot to me. wat ever they may be..


enjoy.








B&W


















i am still learning to use dis new Nikon D3000. lot more to go thru. i am not dat familiar wit the zoom and such - how i wish i cld hav someone who cld teach me a thg or two. menyesal ponteng kelas photography baru2 neh.. :-(


nothg new in ere. pics on B&W, got it around places. looks sad and a bit 'painful' i think. heh. i dun know wat it is, i jst think they r cool for being the way they r..








Happy B'day..

Anthr year past me by. Thru a lot of thgs - and i am blessed. The ups and downs, the in and out.. Its a turning point for me. Its my 'big' day, i am happy for being able to go thru dis well. A bit of mix feeling, tho too.. Happy Bird-Day, Shahezam!

Saturday, January 30, 2010

..the journey.

I gez the journey is jst about to begin. Its kinda symbolic, for the for the time ever in my life, i wast in at my own place for the d'day. Or, for the b'day dat is. Dis time arnd, i want some piece of my own, a time of my own, and s'where i am damn familiar wit - where ppl loves u for no condition at all, accept u as who ur, as wat ur. No new faces. No new surrounding. And no complication. I jst want s'thg simple. And easy to digest. Its cold in ere, yet peaceful. I aint in rush, i shall jst drive and jst go wit the flow of time. Theres a lot of thang rumbling in head, it needs to vent out yet i ant sure of how, or shld i. I gez dis is life. It dpnds on how u see it, or how u want it. Each time sthg ends in life, there'll always sthg dat left to begin. But i gez, i shall quit thking wats life is, wats left to begin and such. I am glad for wat it brings. And wit all the great nice ppl arnd me, i am truly blessed. Gotta stop for my dly routine dose of caffine. And Subuh, soon.. I gez, the journey is about to begin!

Friday, January 29, 2010

soon...





reached home around 9pm - dining out tonite, wit coupla others. the so-called 'makan siap2 for besday, peh ni tak payah tuntut dah!' kinda thang (as if i need to tuntut such thang) for i am not gonna be in town for the weekend, shall be leavin for somewhere else, before Subuh trow morning.


theres so many thgs happen lately, it was like back to back. it left me speechless. but then - as i always told myself - 'its all in ur head' kinda thang. i need to look into all dis, in a positive way. s/ada aku nak or not - dats all dat matters. theres a lot of i thg dat i learn, yet some of em - i am runnin in the same circle again and again, and i feel sorry for myself, dat i did not learn a thg. but its ok - life is a learning process itself. and i am still learning to get it all rite.


gotta hit the crib early tonite. will pop-in some Stilnox, for i cant afford to wake up and wonderin post-midnite. gotta wake up as early as 3am, and will hit the road then. Monday - i am considering to take a day off, need to head up to Penang for some reason..


for the first time ever in life - i am not dat keen to face the b'day. its not the fact dat a yr will add up to the number, for i dun really mind, God sake. it jst dat.. i dun know. theres so many thgs happened lately. but then - thgs happened. and i gez - it shldnt be a reason for myself not to enjoy every secs of life, left. more parcels coming in - one from TimTam of the down under of Australia (thank u, gal!! u amazed me..) and another one is hand-delivered by Saif, Muaz - his fren came in to the office jst to send it, himself.. erm, thank u Saif. but then - i yet to open any of em. shall wait till next Monday.


need to pack coupla thgs. my new dslr, shirts, lens, books and few more. u hav a great weekend, fellas. be good. be notti. jst be urself, well.






Fry-day.





reached the ofc early dis morning, hav to prepare coupla thgs for the next 2hrs in a row classes - the only 2hrs for the whole week. its about secondary care and rehab - which is a new topic for me. i need a bit of time readin some materials. shldve done dis semlm.


a bit light-headed. yet i need to get thru dis well..







white owl..

I cant sleep. I jst cant sleep, at all. It wasnt my day afterall, and stupidly - i've spoiled others' too. Its so selfish of me. Its my stupidity. I shldve be dealing it, myslf. But i did not. I need no sympathy. All i need is a bit of space, so i can explain myslf. And make thgs understandable. Easy. But then, i gez theres no use of it, any more. Thgs has been said. And done. I gotta move on. I hav a life - a short one, and i love ppl arnd me well. I am sorry for the mess i've caused. Never ever in my life, i'll go hurting ppl dat i love - be it now or of the past. But if i do, it'd be solely then my mistake. I am so tired, i really to close my eyes - even jst for a while. And i hope, as the sun comes up; thgs gonna get better for everybdy. For me. And i jst cant help feeling numb.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

..






i wish i cld explain thgs well. but - when ur mad at someone, or u lost ur trust in someone - an explanation wldnt mean a thg anymore.


i jst dun know wat to say. or do. every steps dat i take seems to be a dead end, seems to be all wrong.


i wish i cld do somethg about it. y it has to be dis way?







Wednesday, January 27, 2010

g'bye Nirmala..




aku, mala and few kakitgn Unit Pentadbiran.
'mak tiri' aku - kak Ton in tudung marron.








Izzah and Rod.








Mr Ismail - Ketua Unit Anatomy and Physiology, Mr Zul -
Ketua Unit Sains Komunikasi and Mr Bong - Ketua Unit Perubatan.
*heh*







during the lunch time - there's a jamuan perpisahan for Puan Nirmala; Ketua Unit Farmakologi for 2yrs now - bertukar ke KSKB Sg Buloh starting dis coming Friday..


Nirmala - she's one quiet lady. but very kinda, helpful. soft-spoken - so she's havin dis tendency selalu kena 'bully' dgn aku - not dat kinda bully, i mean - aku selalu kenakan dia wit lot of thang - and the best part is, she'll never get angry wit me. she loves bringin her own breakfast - aku yg stay dkt dgn bilik dia akan bau kari, tosei watever not; enuff to make me droll like hell.



Mala - we'll be missin u. its good for u to finally get the chance movin down - closer to ur hubby, ur family for the sake of the baby yg will coming to the world, like 6mths to come. u take care.. forget us not. i am wishin u all the very best for the future..


ur sucha nice fren, indeed.. :-(





kurus? heh.
















fat arse?
heh.








Apiz came into my room - after done wit his class. he insisted me to follow him for a breakie - which is - heh, i had mine alrdy jst now.. a lite one. so - i turned him down. but still - he wanted me to go along since 'KF tadak, Ajak tadak..'. kan! skang baru nampak aku lah? still, aku malas! heh.


but one thg keeps me smiling - his as-usual-statement;


'Shah, jom la pi makan.. apa nak diet2'. when aku ckp aku malas, he started like.. 'makan sikit je, teman aku. btw - ur losing weight la, really!'. bila aku ckp, 'shut up!', he was like.. 'really, aku malas nak puji2 ko, nanti kembang.. tp u really losing weight! wats wrong? ko sakit ke? Diabetic? ko ada pi check ur health status?' kinda thang. heh. keji. sangat2 keji.


but then - apart the 'health status' - i think i am so in love wit the rest of his statement. Apiz kinda guy yg susah sgt nak puji org, typical KEL; as aku always said to him. so bila dia kuar bilik, aku kunci bilik and curi2 tgk kat cermin - 'am i really losing weight?'. wah! hahaha..


heh. think i can hav brunch, lunch, tea and dinner la today. plus supper.


haha.. mengong.






pre-b'day thang!!







had a great nice sleeping last nite - tho aku masuk tido a bit late.. around 12am i think, i had a great one still. woke up at 6am - aku managed to finish up coupla pages of the manual (excited kan?) while waiting enjin kete aku panas. hehe


went thru my schedule - heh, again.. nthg much for today. no class, except for a meeting to attend at 4pm and discussion/presentation on case clerking for the boys at 3pm. dat will finish up darn early, gerenti nye lah! hehe..


izzah and rod awal2 pg lagik dah 'melawat' bilik aku, tgk aku minum Nescafe - dorg pun nak. heh, rasa mcm pantry plak bilik aku neh!


btw - as aku ckp before; aku nak upload the pics on last Sunday event.. and ere they r;











KL from KL Tower. superb.







guys yg together-gather on the hi-tea.
from (L) Azman A, Bahar and Azman D.









me and Azman A.





erk.














and stuffs!





on last Sunday, rite after i was done wit my UPM thang, i was brought up to KL Tower. for a hi-tea katanyer.. i was thinkin there'll be sort of meet-up-old-frens-over-tea sorta thang, but it aint! huhu.. it was kinda pre-b'day celeb held by Azman, another Azman and Baha. yayy!!


and i came to know the whole plot. Kak Yang, Pinkie kinda thang. and dat amazed me like hell! its a small world. and i cldnt find a proper word to describe how it feels. i feel so honored, so blesses to be surrounded wit awesome, amazing ppl around me. ppl who take me as wat i am, as for who i am. ppl who r around wit no 'pra-syarat' kinda thang and they dun need a thang from me back in return. it aint for the thgs dat i got - its the tot, the frenship/r'ship dat matters. the appreciation. it goes beyond anythg, at all.


i am still on the cloud nine - think it'd be like for coupla weeks la kot. haha..


Azman D, Azman A, Bahar, Pinkie - thanks. u guys r superb! Kak Yang - love u. thank u so much..


heh. i gotta brush up my skill, now. a lot more to learn, definitely! and heh - i am a Nikon-ian, from now on! huhu


btw - thanks, ppl. i am truly honored.




Tuesday, January 26, 2010

pics @ random..






























above are some of the pics - i aint sure if i ever publish em yet - i think some of em, i did. and some of em, r not as yet. i wanted to caption em all, but i gez - somehow, sometimes - they'd be nice left un-caption; let our mind wander about, and judge wat we see wit our own eyes.


i love doin macro. they r awesome. u can see details - clearly. and now dat i am havin my new lovely toy (i yet to tell about it, eh?) i am tryin hard to learn more wat to do and wats not about it, well. but then again - i hate readin the manual. i am suck at it. i remember rushin to near bookstore in Tesco Extra looking out for dis Digital Camera Jan issue - but it was outta stock. kinda sad - a fren of mine told me dat; i need to get my hand on dat bloody issue for it talks about sort of 'crash course for the beginners'.. *sigh*. think i am goin off to MPH trow, wit the hope, i'll get one.


life's good. life's fine. its wonderful to know ur not alone in the world, while half of ur life - ur livin as if ur. its nice to hav great ppl around u - they stand by u in any situation at all. and one thg i learn w/in dis coupla days - i shld be more assertive, less Mr. Nice guy wld do me good. i shld leave those ppl who'd ruin myself, emotionally. and i shldnt let anyone effect my life - mentally, and physically. dis is my life. and i hav right on it. ppl will talk nicely if they r in love wit u - but if they r not; all kinda shait will comes out. i gez dats the fact of life..


its gonna be mid of the week, wit coupla days to go.. *sigh*