Sunday, December 5, 2010

memoir? why?








i remember before i began to write - i din fully understand the effects of the past on the present. instead - for yrs, the past appeared in my mind's eye like faded black and white photographs, in which no one, especially me seemed to be fully alive.


growing up - i lived a double life. on one face of it - i seemed like a normal, happy person. i hav it all - family, career and such. but all dis seeming prefection was a veneer - maskin the realty dat theres thgs in me dat i cant get rid of it - i mght did, but it keep on coming back to me. its been years - but i jst cant help myself.


then i started putting words on the page. tho they mght not really telling the whole shait, but i dammit i feel much better by doin it. and readin em all back - finally, i chose to examine my past!


i remember someone encourage me, and me, and me - thru writing; me and my life, as well. whether ur childhood was traumatic or not, whether ur current life is in disarray, chances r u do hav story to tell. whether, say - ur figurin out a divorce, taking notes about recent illness, exploring the disruption caused by ur own parent, or worryin on ur own work, relationships, on ur missing someone and u cant say it out loud in words - we write memoir to better understand ourselves; as well as to bring a reader us on our journeys.


i wanna share coupla reasons y ur life can be improved by writing a memoir - by telling ur own story.. btw - its my own tots, anyway;


One - memoirs helps u understand the past.


i must say dat i've gained clearer insight about my past when i write, then if i simply sit around thinkin about it, in the abstract. wat was the r'ship about? how did the past cause such emotional devastation? i gez i've found a few answers to these important q's thru the written word.


writing ia a way to interact wit - and interpret - the past. it helps us make sense of events, whether they r traumatic, joyful, or maybe - jst confusing. writing sharpens our senses so dat images and details from the past emerge in a new context, one dat illuminates events for ourselves as well as for ur readers.


Two - memoir organizes ur life.


how? u mght ask. u see - jst livin my life day by day - i never stop long enuff to q events. there r errands to run, thgs to do - to say nthg of emotional clutter! who has time to stop and thnk about events swirling around us?


only when i put my everyday life on hold - so to speak - sit down at my computer or holdin on tite to my phone and write, i start to see a pattern to the rush-and-tumble of life. memoir writing, gathering words onto pieces of paper or on a computer - helps us shape our lives. by discovering plot, arc, theme and metaphor - we giv out lives an organization, a frame - which they wld not otherwise hav. darn a memoir creates a narrative, a life story - pls be agree, to disagree.



Three - memoir helps u discover ur life force!


before i wrote - while i kept secrets; i din feel as if i were really livin my life.. bley? i din hav a clear grasp as to who i was. wat, and who, was the essence of "me"? there r thousands of other survivors, daily. and how was my story, different?


there is only one of u. ur voice is unique. if u dun express urself, if u dun fully explore who ur.. i gez - dat essence of u will lost



Four - memoir helps others to heal.



one thg i most love about writing memoir - is dat it affords me the opportunity to meet many courageous ppl, still struggling.


Five - confessing, thru memoir is goof for the soul!


telling a bit of ur secret, even a lil bit - can be scary but then - i reached to a point where not telling the secrets was worse (i mean - not all, God sake!) i felt heavy, weighted down/ finally, then - it was more a relief to write my bit of life, then ignore it (if u read my thg in eKawan blog, u'll understand). so even tho times i felt scared or uncomfortable, i ultimately felt a sense of release, and power..


in short - wit every word, the pain lessened. it was as i extracted it, one word, a time.


as u challenge urself, u'll feel more courageous everyday. writing memoir energizes ur psyche, nourishes ur soul.


well, at least - dats wat i believe in!







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