Sunday, December 5, 2010

memoir? why?

i remember before i began to write - i din fully understand the effects of the past on the present. instead - for yrs, the past appeared in my mind's eye like faded black and white photographs, in which no one, especially me seemed to be fully alive.

growing up - i lived a double life. on one face of it - i seemed like a normal, happy person. i hav it all - family, career and such. but all dis seeming prefection was a veneer - maskin the realty dat theres thgs in me dat i cant get rid of it - i mght did, but it keep on coming back to me. its been years - but i jst cant help myself.

then i started putting words on the page. tho they mght not really telling the whole shait, but i dammit i feel much better by doin it. and readin em all back - finally, i chose to examine my past!

i remember someone encourage me, and me, and me - thru writing; me and my life, as well. whether ur childhood was traumatic or not, whether ur current life is in disarray, chances r u do hav story to tell. whether, say - ur figurin out a divorce, taking notes about recent illness, exploring the disruption caused by ur own parent, or worryin on ur own work, relationships, on ur missing someone and u cant say it out loud in words - we write memoir to better understand ourselves; as well as to bring a reader us on our journeys.

i wanna share coupla reasons y ur life can be improved by writing a memoir - by telling ur own story.. btw - its my own tots, anyway;

One - memoirs helps u understand the past.

i must say dat i've gained clearer insight about my past when i write, then if i simply sit around thinkin about it, in the abstract. wat was the r'ship about? how did the past cause such emotional devastation? i gez i've found a few answers to these important q's thru the written word.

writing ia a way to interact wit - and interpret - the past. it helps us make sense of events, whether they r traumatic, joyful, or maybe - jst confusing. writing sharpens our senses so dat images and details from the past emerge in a new context, one dat illuminates events for ourselves as well as for ur readers.

Two - memoir organizes ur life.

how? u mght ask. u see - jst livin my life day by day - i never stop long enuff to q events. there r errands to run, thgs to do - to say nthg of emotional clutter! who has time to stop and thnk about events swirling around us?

only when i put my everyday life on hold - so to speak - sit down at my computer or holdin on tite to my phone and write, i start to see a pattern to the rush-and-tumble of life. memoir writing, gathering words onto pieces of paper or on a computer - helps us shape our lives. by discovering plot, arc, theme and metaphor - we giv out lives an organization, a frame - which they wld not otherwise hav. darn a memoir creates a narrative, a life story - pls be agree, to disagree.

Three - memoir helps u discover ur life force!

before i wrote - while i kept secrets; i din feel as if i were really livin my life.. bley? i din hav a clear grasp as to who i was. wat, and who, was the essence of "me"? there r thousands of other survivors, daily. and how was my story, different?

there is only one of u. ur voice is unique. if u dun express urself, if u dun fully explore who ur.. i gez - dat essence of u will lost

Four - memoir helps others to heal.

one thg i most love about writing memoir - is dat it affords me the opportunity to meet many courageous ppl, still struggling.

Five - confessing, thru memoir is goof for the soul!

telling a bit of ur secret, even a lil bit - can be scary but then - i reached to a point where not telling the secrets was worse (i mean - not all, God sake!) i felt heavy, weighted down/ finally, then - it was more a relief to write my bit of life, then ignore it (if u read my thg in eKawan blog, u'll understand). so even tho times i felt scared or uncomfortable, i ultimately felt a sense of release, and power..

in short - wit every word, the pain lessened. it was as i extracted it, one word, a time.

as u challenge urself, u'll feel more courageous everyday. writing memoir energizes ur psyche, nourishes ur soul.

well, at least - dats wat i believe in!


Jerung Rimba Putih said...

This is so inspiring Ash.
You always made me stunned with all this kinda words.

jerry maguire, jr. said...


thanks. never tot it'd be one, tho.
glad ur enjoyin it.

Jerung Rimba Putih said...