.. not the arrival.
hav u asked urself wat ur doin on dis journey? dis is an intimate, personal question - dat is; but not an impertinent one, for it is one u ask urself and need to answer to urself, alone.
again - wat ru doin wit ur life? is dis a embarrassing question? hav u asked urself dis, before? hav ever think y ur in ere? hav u really paused in the rush of life to fine the true answer? it mght be rewarding to spend a lil more time - a lil more tot on where we r goin.
i believe we all need to stand aside from life - occasionally, to pause and look at life as it were from the outside, as an outlooker, peering in thru the window at the world rushing by. we need a pause not only to ask ourselves where we r goin.. but to hav a summing-up - make a balance sheet of our lives.
i am sorry. i aint sure of all the above - but somehow; they need to be outta my head.
its a long, empty day. i never think of it'd ended up dis way. i need a crash. a sound one - no more nightmares like the nite before. no more waking up in the mid of the nite, gasping for air - upon dreams i hate to think of.