theres one thg i've been keeping to myself - dat i wanna puke it out, i wanna write about it, i wanna share and tell ppl about it - but i jst cant. its the circumstances dat i blame it on. its torturous when u dun really hav someone who really understand - or u do hav - but me, being so selfish dat i am not openin up dat much. and its kinda hurt when ppl keep on judging, guessing, speculating and making up stories when they dun even hav a single fcukin clues about wtf it is all about. i aint blaming others. its me.
but today - i gez its doesnt matters anymore. i am happy. it aint dat biggie like if i can thru a 'kenduri' on it as yet - but its enuff for me to smile thru the day and hav my head clear - so freakin clear - for the first time. and it gives me back my strength - somethg dat at least, i cld hang on to, cling on it well. yeah - i knw. no expectation, as yet anyway. but who cares? i am happy.
i hope there'll be no more sleepless nite. no more driving up and down. no more calls coming in at anytime at all. and no more forcing myself doin shait dat i hate of doin.