Monday, October 11, 2010

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today is not the day i want the way it to be. i wish i cld skip the day, dat is - today. started it by havin sort of bitter taste left in mouth - i gotta brace myself thru shait yg aku hate to face it, God sake.


i had coupla thgs due, i am tryin so hard to look out for time doin it - and its not dat i am not tryin. but all those ppl up there r thinkin as if i am havin 8 hands or somethg and i dun hav live out apart from livin life in ere - dlm office neh; dat i hav to dedicate my 24/7 doin office thang. Mr H dah perli2 aku and others - and aku was kinda hilang sabar on it - aku jwb dgn celupar je which i knw he was kinda 'shocked' havin reply from me. aku geram still. yet aku tak regret pun. be it. at least he knws how it is, and wat i am. even he's my 2nd boss - i tot u shld understand ur staffs pretty enuff. jadik boss senang la - in and out the off, travel ere and there, kuar memos and such.. yg buat keje kuli batak - ur not doin it after all. aku geram sgt.


a conversation thru the handphone kills off my sickness for dats wat i've been waitin for, for the call - but then - it left sort of numbness in me. it hits rite thru me. i dun ask dis to happen. it cld be my mistake - but when ppl took me in a wrong way, and started to be so melancholic ere and there - wat wld i be? shld i go defense myself and bein so defensive? of shld i jst keep my mouth shut - wit the tot dat the person cldve get the big picture, but obviously - it aint? i knw - ppl said it took 2 to Tango. i dun wanna be rude. i hate myself to hurt others. and it turns out it hurts myself back in return. and i hav to face the consequences. perhaps i shld stop being nice to ppl.


i had assignments to mark, markah nak like trow. watdya expect? student baru hantar, dah terus nak key in markah?


Mr B is goin overboard. askin me dis and dat. for his coming talk - he needs me to do 40 MCQs - where as dats he's slot! i feel like cryin. setting questions r not as easy as u mght think. and i cld be turnin from mad to insane.


i had no breakie. i missed my lunch. all i had dis morn., was a big mug of Nescafe.


at dis point of time - i wish i cldve talk to someone. jst listen to me. no judgin, no nothg. jst listen to me. but i gez - everybdy hav their own thgs to deal wit.


and damn.. i jst wanna go home.







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