Tuesday, September 21, 2010

aint my kinda day..

am i?

so fail. be bad at thgs. be embarrassed. be afraid. be vulnerable. go out on a limb or two or even twelve - and u'll fall and its gonna be fcukin hurt. but the harder u fall, the farther u'll rise. damn - u better hav hope in it. the louder u fall, the clearer ur future becomes. at least dats wat they say. or, is it? stop shoving my brain wit dat words. failure is a gift - so welcome it. yeah, of coz. ur mumbling as if ur losing ur mind. there r ppl who spend their whole lives wondering how they became the ppl they became - how certain chances pass em by, why they din take the roads less traveled.

those ppl arent u. u hav front row seats to yr own transformation, and in transforming urself - u might even transform the world. wow. really? pretty much as if ur delusional! and it will be electric, and i promise u it'll be terrifying! embrace dat; embrace the new person ur becoming. dis is ur moment. i promise u - it is now, now - not two minutes from now - not tomorrow, but really now. own dat, know dat deep in ur bones. and go to sleep every nite knwing dat - wake up every morning remembering dat. and then.. keep goin.


owh, gross. i aint a kiddo. u aint gonna get me by spending me all those above sweet words. if u think u gonna buy me wit all dat - jst remember - to whom ur talking to. damn i can do better than dat. hell better, yeah!


it aint a a great day for me. i had no classes to run, and supposedly i had no clinical teachin to deal wit as well. but somethg unexpectedly comes up - and screwed up my whole day. i dun knw how to explain - but one thg for sure; i started to feel i hate wat i am doin for life, now. and i started to consider of turning a new leaf - somewhere else.

wish i cld talk about dis wit someone, God sake. but lately - i kinda feeling left out. i dun know. cld be my plain stupid feelin. my workmates - they knw where and when to find me - if they r in deep shait. and even when i need to talk to even one of em, i ended up doin the listenin still - and it left me wonder; saper yg ada masalah neh? dammit. its kinda sad to be me! i look around - for someone i cld talk, i cld share thgs wit - everybdy r like, well.. they do hav live as well. and i ended up crashing at home during the lunch hour, wit the feelin as if theres a big lump of shait hangin over my head.

so ere i am - dumping all shait in ere. dis blog wont talk back to me. it wont go askin me to listen to it pun. or complaining, hell yeah.

think i shld put it a stop in ere. i need to hit my MumuLand now - wishin thgs gonna be alrite, wit the mornin sun.. insyaAllah.


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