Tuesday, September 21, 2010

aint my kinda day..

am i?

so fail. be bad at thgs. be embarrassed. be afraid. be vulnerable. go out on a limb or two or even twelve - and u'll fall and its gonna be fcukin hurt. but the harder u fall, the farther u'll rise. damn - u better hav hope in it. the louder u fall, the clearer ur future becomes. at least dats wat they say. or, is it? stop shoving my brain wit dat words. failure is a gift - so welcome it. yeah, of coz. ur mumbling as if ur losing ur mind. there r ppl who spend their whole lives wondering how they became the ppl they became - how certain chances pass em by, why they din take the roads less traveled.

those ppl arent u. u hav front row seats to yr own transformation, and in transforming urself - u might even transform the world. wow. really? pretty much as if ur delusional! and it will be electric, and i promise u it'll be terrifying! embrace dat; embrace the new person ur becoming. dis is ur moment. i promise u - it is now, now - not two minutes from now - not tomorrow, but really now. own dat, know dat deep in ur bones. and go to sleep every nite knwing dat - wake up every morning remembering dat. and then.. keep goin.


owh, gross. i aint a kiddo. u aint gonna get me by spending me all those above sweet words. if u think u gonna buy me wit all dat - jst remember - to whom ur talking to. damn i can do better than dat. hell better, yeah!


it aint a a great day for me. i had no classes to run, and supposedly i had no clinical teachin to deal wit as well. but somethg unexpectedly comes up - and screwed up my whole day. i dun knw how to explain - but one thg for sure; i started to feel i hate wat i am doin for life, now. and i started to consider of turning a new leaf - somewhere else.

wish i cld talk about dis wit someone, God sake. but lately - i kinda feeling left out. i dun know. cld be my plain stupid feelin. my workmates - they knw where and when to find me - if they r in deep shait. and even when i need to talk to even one of em, i ended up doin the listenin still - and it left me wonder; saper yg ada masalah neh? dammit. its kinda sad to be me! i look around - for someone i cld talk, i cld share thgs wit - everybdy r like, well.. they do hav live as well. and i ended up crashing at home during the lunch hour, wit the feelin as if theres a big lump of shait hangin over my head.

so ere i am - dumping all shait in ere. dis blog wont talk back to me. it wont go askin me to listen to it pun. or complaining, hell yeah.

think i shld put it a stop in ere. i need to hit my MumuLand now - wishin thgs gonna be alrite, wit the mornin sun.. insyaAllah.



Ayub Khalid said...

Salam...be strong Mr Shahe....we are here ,all your frens are here for you,,if you want to share something....this might not be ur day,,but tmorrow and other days might be urs....Semoga dipermudahkan segala urussan....have a well sleep...:)

chefared17 said...

There are times when we face distressing and melancholic situations in life, and dark thoughts loom over our mind..

how i wish i know you better,
so that i can lend u my ear, and u can share ur feelin, all ur grievances, ur sorrow..

heh, but i know my level, anyway..hope things will gonna be better, and sunshine come out over the dark cloud..

have a good rest..cheers..:-)