theres 2 thgs in life - u go wit the flow dat brings u, or u go against the flow - and see wat life brings u. it depends on how u want ur life to be. it depends on wat u want in life, too. and yeah - it depends on how strong ur in life, of course. as for me - i know i aint dat strong. i mght look like one (or i mght not), but deep down - i am jst a plain freakin shyte.
dun worry - i am good today. i am doin alrite, yeap yeap. but for the past coupla days - they really hit me alrite. i was happy and sad at the same time. i am pretty confused of wat life brings me. the uncertainty. the expectation. gosh - i aint hav any, but then - it still hurts me life shyte. for the first time in life - i stand my own stance - my own ground. and be my fcukin self. i gez i am tired of bein wat ppl wants me to be. i am tired of bein wat i am not. i am tored of bein told wat to do, wats not - dis and dat. yet - demi Allah; i am scared. wat if i am wrong? wat if i hurt someone's feeling? and wat about my feelin?
its matter of time. i know i am gonna be ok. its jst a matter of time, yeah.
its not like i am in deep shyte now. i am doin alrite. gez its for the sake of ventilating. i am havin dis tot and need to let go. so here i am doing it - so dat i'd be at ease, and i'd be able to concentrate well on my notes, books, journals, modules etc - soon.