Friday, March 12, 2010


life is subjective. u know dat alrite. it aint a bed of roses,- all the time, for God sake. and definitely - it aint gonna be jst the way u want it to be - like most of the time. u mght be up in the sky, on the cloud nine at one time - yet t'row; ur wondering - 'wats wrong wit me' kinda thang when u know dat there's shait all over u - and to make thgs worst, u dun even hav a freakin clue wat to do.. *sigh*. nah. to tell u the truth - i dun know a thang about 'wat life is'. and i wont go givin sort of a fcukin definition for it, yeah. i mght be able to make the stdnts havin a dropped-jaw talking about wat life is - yet the fact is - u know wat i mean.. i am so hopeless. useless. and i bet u can see the questions r all over the places, in ere.

sometimes in life, u mght be stumbled - u do mistakes alrite, and u gotta learn wit it well. u gotta deal wit it, damn pretty well, too. for if u keep on doin the same thang - ur a plain moron, for sure. and i am sayin it as sort of 'ingatan' for my ownself. i know i did mistakes before. i know i did. and i am learning well. i am learning to improve myself for betterment. i am learning still, so i wont go hurting anyone at all - let alone hurting my own self.

but sometimes - thgs gettin in ur way, and turn everythg, upside down. dun get me wrong - i aint like want to pin-point someone else in ere. its my own mistakes. it is solely mine. i believe dat - wat ever i want, wat ever i do - it'd contribute consequences near future. and i am a totally jerk, when it comes to dis.

u know it aint ur mistake. and u cldnt careless at the first place. for it aint ur fault. y u shld be bothered? but it was like outta ur hand. and when it effected u damn pretty much, and it is too - effected ppl around u, ppl dat u love and such - u started to look around and thinkin - wat did i do? wat do i hav to do? its like - u knew u did some sort of mistakes before; and God sake u regret it like freakin hell, and ur workin so hard to make thgs well - but it goes like..

may be dis is the way it meant to be, for me. no matter how good thgs u do, ur wont be able still to 'cover up' all shait u've done before. and ur gonna like walkin on, carryin bag of shait at the back of u - all the time. for the rest of ur life. and u know its torturing u, damn alrite.

i admit i did mistakes. and i'll face dis as it is - for i believe wat ever God brings me, wat ever God sends me into dis life of mine - it is good for me then.

and i shldnt go complaining about a shait.


ezam said...

apakah yg berlaku sebenarnya inchek...sounds too depresssssssss!

Nonie said...

Y.....dua tiga hari ni mcm ada sesuatu yg tak kena disana sini dgn you.......
Hey take it must goes on dan pray hard moga ALLAH berikan kebahagiaan buat U.....
N as a fren .........I doakan U.....mmoga ALLAH memberikan U kebahagiaan dan keredhaan......

rizal kamaruzaman said...

don't beat ur self anymore. ur already in bad shape.. pls.. do whatever it takes to make the thought go away.. rest well. have some optimistic in life. all things Allah created for reasons. be happy for it.
spend some quality time with friends. sure they'll make u feel good. :)

word verification : ableurde (wth!)