Monday, March 30, 2009

nite!




i aint sure of wat to write. tho theres so much to write indeed. but - i jst dunno how to start and i dunno if i shld or not to even write it in ere. Monday - as usual. throat still like dat, tho my voice dah slightly ok - the 'croak' is still there. i dun giv it a shait if ppl said dat i sounded 'sexy enuff' - but for me; its sickening. and good enuff - i am having 4hrs class trow mornin. i hope it wont get back to those days when aku cannot talk at all! heh. hideous.



kinda happy still. i am smiling now and then. dun ask me why - coz i do think i deserve to feel happy. and smiling away. bet theres nothg wrong about it alrite.



hope trow will be the same. despite i am having the 4hrs strecth, other than dat - i really do hope thgs gonna be ok.



hitting the crib now. nitey nite!





Friday, March 27, 2009

apa yg penting - kerjasama..





Wonder Pets;
apa yang penting - kerjasama..






i think i am in love wit em all. yeah - the above characters. if ur in doubt, not knowing wat on earth i am talkin about - they the Linny the guinea pig, tuck the cute greenie turtle and OMG i love dis lil ones - Ming-Ming the yellow duckling. and they from the WonderPets!


i never know about dis Wonder Pets until last weekend bila aku kat kg - my lil minimonster si Hazwan kept on singing (and at the same time coaching him sepupu Hasif to sing along wit him) a bit of the phrase from the theme song (in Malay yeah).. "apa yg penting - kerjasama..". i asked kak ngah - wat was dat; and obviously she din hav a clue. until i managed to come across the series (since kat kg - bila ada all the minimonsters - channel Ceria la jadi channel rasmi!) on Ceria (it also played on TV9). i was like stunned sekejap. the jalan cerita was so bloody simple - its all about 3 characters 'bekerjasama' helping other 'haiwan' yg in trouble. cute sgt. and God - i just love the theme song.. it is like 'kami tak besar dan kami tak kuat, bila bekerjasama, sumer jadik mudah..' tp yg paling catchy is part 'apa yg penting - kerjasama..'.


so if u not yet to know em all - take yr time. sit infront of the idiotbox, wait till it aired. u'll love em all, trust me!




KL thinggie.















i aint sure of y i am uploading these above pics - but i gez i wanted to dis dis quite a long time - eversince the last visit to KL coupla weeks back; waktu the trip to UKM Anatomy Museum dulu. i was jst fooling around wit the camera - pls do not go comparing em wit all those from the pros. hehehe.. heh .






Fry-Day!









its Fry-Day. its the day dat i've been waiting for - all days in the whole week. heh. its gonna be a great one, i do hope so.










Wednesday, March 25, 2009

..expectation.



i've been looking forward for thgs - a lot of thgs, lately. for the past coupla weeks. or even months, perhaps. i've been counting thgs, days and such - and i think it brings me a lot of new changes in my life, really. a new energy. i never been so optimistic about so many thgs before. i am looking forward for a new day - every day. every single day. for i know at the end of it - theres somethg out there - a reward, i shld say - waiting for me. i've been clinging on it too much dat theres quite changes in me - ppl around me started noticing it well. but its ok. i dun giv it a shait of wat they say. i know wat it is. and i know how it feels.


but then - suddenly i feel like thgs fallen apart. i am not sure of y i am counting days, minutes, seconds and such. i am not sure if it really worth it. mum always reminds me to put down expectation low to the ground in life - for the higher u hav it in life, the more sickening u'd be. and i've been a good follower to it alrite, all dis time. but then - i started to drift away. and now - i am not sure how to put thgs the way it is - for i am so stuck in it, and i am not sure if i can let go. no expectation. dats the way it is. i am havin so much expectation now - dat it hurts me sometimes. even now, especially. but then - wats my rite to voice thgs out? do i hav any? i keep remind myself - where the stance is. i know i gotta face the music, for the risk i'm taking. i cant say much, for i know how thgs work.



but again.. i dunno. *sigh*



clinical visits, again.




woke up early - still at home, dun think i am gonna go to the office for pun - for i need to drive up to Hosp. Parit Buntar, PKD Kerian and KK Gunong Semanggol for clinical visits. still feverish - but i was left wit no choice. if i dun do it today - i still need to do it in coupla days to come.


coupla thgs bugged my head alrite. despite the headache and the stuffy nose, there r thgs marchin up my head alrite. i cant really sleep. been wakin up few times at mid of the nite, lookin at my alarm clock. sickenin, it is.


gotta go. wanna hit the hi-way while its clear. see u around.




Tuesday, March 24, 2009

minimonsters.





right - pak long yg ensem, Hakimie, Hazwan, Hasif and Areeyna (pak long ni sabotaj larr tu! nampak muka separuh je.. *bley?*)






dis blurred pic takes during last break aku kat kg - had a tremendous great time there alrite. abg cik balik - bringing his Sara and Hasif together.. and kak ngah too - wit her 'gerabak' o yeah - areeyna, hakimie, hazwan and haziq. its been quite sometimes aku manage to spend quality time - doing nothg back at kampung, except for fulfilling all dis minimonsters nyer wishes and dreams. hahaha.. such as - playground, bubble-bath, silly faces and such. and aku noted dat my minimonsters neh dah besar2 panjang belaka.. kinda sad - aku baru je nak 'manja' dgn dorang. heh. areeyna dah jadik anak dara - she's 9yo now - pandai nak berchantekQ2 segala bagai.. hakimie - dah makin tinggi, paras bisep aku je.. baru je 7yo! sekali gayut kat belakang aku - mau tumbang! hazwan - he used to be 'pain in the arse'.. jenis suka merengek, menangis, manja giler.. but now - he's ok! loncat tak hengat donia nan fana'. skang si haziq je la.. yg warisi si Hazwan nyer habit waktu kecik2..



Hasif anak abg cik pun dah pandai - he used to be a bit 'aggressive' when it comes to sepupu sepapat neh - laboh je orang ikut suka dia.. tp dat was then - now dia dah besar.. 4yo kot - dha mula pandai ckp mcm org tua, main dgn sepupu2 dia very well. and rapat dgn aku! best siot.. he used to be - anti sgt dgn aku. heh.. nice. sara - ratu air mata ala2 noorkumalasari mcm tu. sket2 nanges. sket2 keriaw. so aku malas sgt nak amek pot.. kalo dia nanges kang, aku nak buat pe? sawan? heh, mmg tak larr..




basicly - dats the way life is. ppl getting older. wiser. and somehow - when u suddenly realised about dis - its alrdy kinda late. they grow up, walk on by and leave u behind, living their own lives. and all the loves one getting older, and as well leaves u behind.




nothg last forever, it is. i gez while all the love ones around us - we better make use the time alrite, do thgs together before its too late and u mght regret it then.








feverish..




woke up wit a bit dizzy - my head is like everywhere. and i know wat it is.. i am goin to be in deep shait wit.. fever again. lately neh, asyik fever sajork. the whether, i think. its freakin hot.. nak ujan - tp tak ujan2 jugak.. mcm mlm tadi - the wind, the darkness - i was like lompat2 happy waitin for the rain. yet - sampai ke Subuh - no rain at all. and obviously - it was sooo hot. i had dis uneasy throat sejak semlm lagik.. tp aku kept on rehydrated myself well, thinkin it'd help. and i did go for a jog too semlm - thank God cuaca not dat hot ptg semlm.. so dis morn - made myself a lit breakfast, a Milo and all kinda stuff - antipyretic and all - PCM Soluble, Brufen 600mg, Piriton and such. matilemek mengantuk ari neh. and 3 hrs class in a row - 3 to 5pm ari neh!! huargkhhh..


kept on thinkin about yesterday. for the first time in life (i think) - i was so deep-ly-dy in love wit Monday. it was a nice day, slow and rilexing. no one mess wit my arse, and i wasnt mess wit anybdy else's too. i did my works well, came early and off sharp on time. managed to settle quite a lot of works - which i supposed to earlier, thank God.


heh - i hope i'll be in love wit Tuesday, too. dat is like - today lah!





Monday, March 23, 2009

so-called youth.






been feelin quite 'old' lately wat wit all the minimonsters running around the house, and Soleh was in too..


during the weekend, my lil bro and i were watchin tv and we came upon MTV's Ghostbusters video-clips over 'I Love 80's'..



'wat is dat?'


'Ghostbusters..'


'wats Ghostbusters?'


'u know, Ghostbusters..'


'.....'


'when theres sthing strange in the neighborhood..'


'.....'


'who ya gonna call?'


'......'


'Ghostbusters!'


'heh, i dun get it!! wats dat?'



he has never heard of nor seen Ghostbusters in any of its permutations. it blew my mind alrite.


and of course, while watching Ghostbusters, we saw a tv spot for the sort of new new X files movie (played ages back) and it has a narrator sayin sthg like "...together again" and my brother asked me "what do they mean 'again?'"


dammit i had to explain to him dat the X-Files was a television series and that this was the second film.


i spent the next few minutes pondering what else my brother did not know about.. sucha waste.


heh.



Britney? Circus? heh.







..and i am having dis Britney's Circus song playin in my head eversince last Sabtu lagik.. filling my head like nobdy biznes. and the best part is, i only knew coupla words yg mula2 jer..




there's only two types of people in the world..



and after dat - all i heard is she's kinda humming her ownself alrite. a bit of sickenin, but i jst ignore it alrite. it doesnt makes me lose my sanity so far.. cuma - why Britney? and y Circus? owh God.



Thursday, March 19, 2009

motobike.






supposedly aku drive to work today - like aku always do. tapi ari neh angin aku pe hal ntah - aku bley amek je kunci moto adik aku si Soleh tu (since dia cuti and not home - left behind his motosikal), start enjin and terus pi keje.. kinda nice sekali sekala off to work naik motorbike. of course stdnts akan tgk ko mcm dgn beberapa jenis pandangan - contohnya mcm; a) pandangan tak percaya.. eg; 'eh, mr. shah ke tu? naik moto? pls la..' mcm tu. b) pandangan terkejut.. eg; 'eh, sir - naik motor? naper?..'(bodo sgt soalan). c) pandangan kejs.. eg; 'heh, naik moto la plak.. pe kes?.. '



pe pun - pedulik aper aku - best naik moto neh - bley cilok2, potong at double line and bila time traffic lite - u can proudly stop kat depan sekali.. tinggalkan all the cars berpuluh-puluh tiang at the back of u. heh. puas ati mek. tak terkata! maklum la - asyek selama neh naik keter - tak abes2 maki org naik moto.. erk - kali ni aku plak ke, jadik mangsa maki? then again - heh - ada aku kesah? huhuhu..



but then - at 11am tadik, aku dpt call dr Mazlina - she's from center tmpat aku belajar tu.. asking me to go there for a while since ada benda nak settle.. aku was like 'ok, nanti lunch time aku dtg..' and only after dat aku terfikir.. 'aduhhh.. aku bwk moto la siolll!!'. but - so wat? salah ke? bukan tak bley smpai pun. aku aku start enjin moto adik aku - pecut la sedaya upaya pi sana.. nak keja lunch time neh!! baru le aku 'terkenang semula' siksa la jugak naik moto neh - especially time2 mcm neh - panas Ya Rabbana.. habuk, asap, kereta asak ko mcm sajer2 je nak kasik ko terjun longkang. heh - geram aku.. tp bezanya, kali ni aku tak le maki2 org.. since aku pun potong double line jugak.. hehe.. lps berhempas pulas dlm panas.. finally aku smpai balik ofis aku.. and langit dah start gelap. adoo - nak ujan eh? rain coat? aiyyoooo.. erm - another alasan yg buatkan aku kena balik awal neh.. yez!!


aku dah submit borang cuti - off for a day trow, ptg ni after work terus nak balik kg.. until Sunday ptg. rindu la kat my mum, my dad.. abg cik and family, kak ngah and family will be back too. Soleh alrdy there.. and let alone all the mini-monsters.. and mum's cooking. fuhhh.. berair mek (tiber2).











moto Soleh tak la mcm ni sekali.. kalo mcm neh - harews la
aku punch in lewat siol!! and kematu dubur
le jwbnyer. heh..







so - if am not be able to updates wit anythg at all - well, dat means aku dah kat kg larrr.. and let me wish u ppl siap2 lar.. TGIF!! happy ber-weekend.







Wednesday, March 18, 2009

..





nite!






Wednesday - is the day..





as i said before - today was kinda 'not my kind of day' alrite. say wat ever lah u want (ok, Art! bley?).. jst dat i was still in the off-days mood and the feelin of being lazy on my coach, lepak2 dpn idiotbox, doin nothg but nothg was still taking me by suprise.. so - pagi ni, aku started my day wit a call from one of the LP (local perceptor) yg ngamuk2 since 'student ko tak dtg2 lagik la Shah - dah 8.15am neh! aku plak dtg awal dr dorang' mcm tu.. and the best thg was - bdk2 ni posting psych - which is dkt sgt dgn ofis aku.. so - aku start engine keter.. and yeah - aku sampai awal lagik dr dorang!! so watdya expect? aku wld bentang karpet merah, tabur bunga rampai dan senyum melebar from ear to ear? heh. mmg tak arrr.. dkt sejam budak2 neh kena 'basuh' dgn aku.. aku siap bg asgments lagik as a punishment. heh - dgn aku senang. u mess wit me, i'll double mess wit u. u 'cakar' my back - hell yeah i'll 'cakar' yrs larrr.. menikus budak2 ni tgk aku. and aku left em to the LP yg senyum melebar (kejs skals!) and head for Hosp. Kuala Kangsar..



reached there around 11am.. sajer je aku amek my own sweet time - siap berenti kat R&R Sg Perak makan2, minum2, wee wee segala bagai.. kalo bley tdo, harews la aku tdo jgk.. heh. sampai je - the Casualty was kinda lintang pukang - there was MVA involving coupla cars n thgs like dat. including coupla other cases too.. aku tgk bdk2 neh - yg mana ok, ok.. bley function very well. yg mana yg mcm tiang drip - so mcm tiang drip la jugak.. berdiri sebelah, wit a panic look, not knowing wat to do.. heh - sajer je kan, cari pasal?



and theres one of the student - tgh perform dis T&S (aka jahit le..) over dis 8yo boy, c/o LW wit h/o bertumbuk dgn budak2 lain.. and again - aku took over the scene very well.. since the stdnt ni serba tak kena, aku pakai mask, put on the strile glove.. and do wat i shld be doin. gian siot jahit2 org neh - lama sgt dah tak do any T&S. so, sambel aku do the T&S, aku did some bed-side teaching to dis stdnt yg lemau neh.. and at the same time jgk - aku bambu the patient too.. 'pi skol nak belajar ke, nak gado2.. nak jdi gangster kah.. bla bla bla..' kinda thang. syiok plak, eh. heh.









T&S done over the chin. aku bet dis budak
akan bertobat after dis.. *bley?*







sampai je KK Pdg Rengas.. aku dah mcm malas sgt. although the stdnts there were good - in most of the thgs.. tp aku not havin dis urge to teach a lot pun.. so bincang sket ttg skills on how to clerk OPD case sket2.. dah la. around 3pm, aku blah.. aku lapar, pening, mengantok - all in one.


theres coupla thgs inside i wish i cld let it spills in ere. but i know - i jst cant. too many hearts out there, dat i hav to think of.



heh.






wat a day!





dis aint the rite day anyway - i am still on the cloud nine, and i refuse to come down alrite. i am so fucked up - drowsy, sleepy and havin dis hang-over dat i got from dis coupla days back - and i dun feel like goin to work pun.. aiyooo..



in the office alrdy - went thru my schedule - shait! clinical visits - to Hosp. Kuala Kangsar, PKD Kuala Kangsar and KK Pdg Rengas.. huwaaa.. how am i goin to drive when i am feelin gross and sleepy?



can i take EL eh? heh - not a good idea.





Tuesday, March 17, 2009

coffee. rainy day. lovey-dovey *puke*







i am not sure of wat shld i be writing in ere today - the good days r coming towards the end - and i hav to face the music well, i think. and theres nthg much happening today - woke up late, reheated some left-over semlm for breakfast, eat like a horse infront of the idiotbox, feelin drowsy n sleepy and the rest of it - was so damn routine for me.

i gez i wanna share wit u my experience - i went thru coupla weeks back. it was a normal day too, expect for the rainin thang. i remember not bloggin dis for i din see any point of doin it, but i am doin it now.. lets see.


..


so, it was a raining day. i decided to go to my fav coffee shop in town and hav some coffee after work. when i arrived at the coffee shop, it was starting to rain again. i ordered my coffee and took a seat at a table in the corner. a few minutes after sitting, a couple sat down at a near by table. i tried not to listen on their conversation - for i was pretty darn tired, i wasnt in the mood to do the 'watching-ppl' thang pun - but dammit, i cldnt help it..


the coupla was in their mid 30's and disscussing how they had been together.. 6yrs if i was not mistakes. after a few small talk, questions the woman asked the man, 'howdya know u love me?' (silly i know - wat kinda question is dat?).. but then - like i said, hard not to listen in. i was on the edge of my seat. was he goin to answer the question or not. he waited only a secs before answering.


this answer was dis, 'i'll tell u y i know i love u.. last nite i had a dream about u and me. we where married and i was at work. i got a phone call dat said u had been in an xcident and on ur way to the hosp. when i arrived the doc said u ere dead. at dat moment it felt like my heart fell out of my body and hit the floor. my leags felt like they ere holding up a thousand pounds. my body felt immediately warm. i cldnt breath. not becoz i cldnt, i didnt want to. i woke in a half panic. i looked over and there ur sleepin so peacefully. it sounds dramatic, i know. but its true. i know i am in love wit u bcoz i always want to be around u. its bcoz i cant imagine living a life w/o u in it..'.

the way he said it - i felt like i wanna puke my coffee off. but then i had to believe him (which she definitely did). i remember had my eyes rolling up seein the fan above my head. and i remember i had my hand 'tongkat kepala sendiri' wit the tot of - 'God Lord, ayat!!'. the rest of the conversation was lite, but neither one of em cld get the smile off their faces.. *phewww*


heh. the fact is - anyway - i jst wanted to share dat wit u about my trip to the coffee shop. in the heavy down-pour.




Monday, March 16, 2009

letting u go..





dis is especially for u, ABM;




to let go is not to forget, not to think about, or to ignore. it doesnt leave feelings of anger, jealousy or regret. lettin go isnt about winnin or losing. it is not about a pride and it is not about how u appear, and it is not obsessing or dwellin on the past.


and i think - lettin go too is not about blockin memories or thinkin sad tots and doesnt leave emptiness, hurt or sadness. it is not about givin in or givin up. lettin go isnt about loss and it is not about defeat. to let go is to cherish the memories, but to overcome and move on. and i understand dat - we hav to let go in a way to survive.


to let go - it is like havin an open mind confidence in future. it is like a learning and experiencing. and growing. to let go is to be thankful for the experiences dat made u laugh, made u cry and definitely - made u grow. it is all about dat u hav, all dat u had, and all dat u will hav soon again.


letting go is havin the courage to accept changes, and the strength to keep on moving. lettin go is growin up. it is realizing dat the heart can sometimes be the most potent remedy. to let go is to open a door and to clear a path and set yrself free, again.


i aint sure of wat the above means, but i gez, i am letting thgs go now. ABM - i hav respect on u. i look up for u. like i always told u. and i will always do. i still do, indeed. i know i hurt u damn very well, and i know jst by sayin 'i am sorry' wldnt mend the whole shait back again to the way it is. it jst wldnt work dat way. u've made a pack. a decision. to move on. and leave me behind. u decided to forget - so u wldnt get hurt any longer. i respect yr stance. i believe i got no rite to question dat, well. and i gez i hav to, too. tho deep down - i am still blamin myself for the whole shait - but then, i know i wldnt change a thang. i am sorry for comin into ur life. comin into between. i wish i knw wat i was doin. and i wish i cld jst walk off - jst like dat - before thgs get screwed up.


a good person like u deserve a good better fren in life.. and it aint no way gonna someone like me.. and i bet - u will be. i am sorry. i dun blame u wanna let go me. u hav urself, ur feelin to protect. and i gez it wldnt be dat useful for me to fight back.


its been a great time. is an honored to know u. to hav time spent wit u. to be a part of single thgs u do. and i wish u all the very best in life, then.


letting go can be so very hard. but i gez dat is all dat i hav.



Sunday, March 15, 2009

lost.






just because i'm losing
doesnt mean i'm lost
doesnt mean i'll stop
doesnt mean i'm in a cross

jst because i' hurting
doesnt mean i'm hurt
doesnt mean i din get what i deserve
no better and no worse

i just got lost
every river that i've tried to cross
and every door i ever tried was locked
and a'm just waiting till the shine wears off..

you might be a big fish
in a little pond
doesnt mean you've won
cause along may come
a bigger one

and you'll be lost
every river that you try to cross
every gun you ever held went off
i'm just waiting till the firing stops
waiting till the shine wears off




Sunday mornin (glory)..








i woke up early dis mornin.. despite of hittin the crib a bit late last nite. after Subuh - i was in bed, upside down hopin i'll get the eyes to close off for a while - yet buang masa jer.. so aku off the bed, went for a shower, went down to the kitchen for a my daily mornin dose of caffiene and ere i am - infront of the lappy. theres coupla thgs yg aku need to settle before dis Wednesday - and i gez i shld be doin em now.. feel like goin out for an aerobic and a bit of jog - tp malas plak rasa nyer.. think i shld jst stay back la kot.


had dis mixed feelin. kinda scared. not dat really scared - but.. well, i dun know how to put it. its the uncertainty feelin. u know rite, how it feels? when u hav dis mixed feelin, so insecure, uncertain about somethg - u not sure to go on wit it or not.. ppl said i shld be qutting dis, but i jst dunno y i keep surrender to the whole thang. i never get dis 'lembik' before. i used to stand tall on watever decision i made. but dis time around - think of goin wit the flow, yet i aint sure if its even the rite flow i am goin thru wit then.

God, help me.





Saturday, March 14, 2009

McD, Sunday nite, stranger.



syed heidzir.





yg kat sebelah dahi kiri Syed tu.. i think byg2 McD nyer sticker kat
cermin tgkap sebelah kitorang..





dis is Syed Heidzir - one of my fellow fren in FB. he's in Ipoh since he's goin to be a best-man for his bestfren's wedding trow. knew him jst recently - since he's in Ipoh - so we decided to go out for a drink, for a while. Syed told me he's not into a heavy meal for dinner - so.. McD lah, mana lagik.. aku pun - had lite-lite meal sajork..


Syed kinda nice guy, soft-spoken. dreamy eyes. and love to smile. and laugh too.. even tho dis is the first time meeting him up - i got no big problem to make myself at ease. let alone to be my real self; which if for me - damn real crucial. after minum2, sembang.. we decided to call the day off - since esok pun Syed nak berkepit dgn pengantin.. kang bestman plak ngantok.. cemaneh? so around 10.40pm - both of us blah balik ke destinasi masing2 lah.. he's stayin in Casaurina wit his frens, and i am - of course lah - heading back to my house larr..


so Syed - if u happen to stop in ere, again - in Ipoh to be precise, singgah2 lah, eh.. and jgn serik plak! huhu


kinda sleepy. hitting my crib now. g'nite!






Saturday rocks!



had a great Saturday - a lazy one, indeed. slept late last nite, i woke up early at 6am.. mandi2 and get myself off to Padang Polo wit a bit of aerobic and a jog. i am not dat fond of havin the aerobic today there actually - for the instructors r jenis yg syok sendiri.. steps berterabor, repeat the same shit again and again.. baru je kira empat dah march. macam pelaQ! peluh pun tak sempat. bukan aku nak mengeji ke aper.. tp mmg keji lah! heh. since aku was there wit stdnts aku - Daus, Epoi and Kimie - we were like gelak2 je kat belakang tu.. and makin fun of the whole shait. heh. padan la tak ramai org on the floor pun.. Daus was like, 'sir, aper lagik sir.. pi naik pentas take over..'. heh.

done wit it - off for breakfast. typical for me for the weekend - 2 keping tosai yg garing and tea tarik gelas besar.. so i need not to hav lunch at all.. and dats wat i did. sampai ruamh - laundry a bit, mandi2, golek2 dpn idiotbox.. sembang2 dgn Soleh and off aku crawled up to the crib and dozed away to the MuMuLand before aku woke at 3pm for Zohor and off a barber and to the gym after dat.

and tonite - i'll be headin off to McD - since ada dinner dgn member from KL.. he's in for a work, i think. i'll hav a lite one je la kot.. nanti gemok. bley?

theres a thg or two marchin up my mind - as usual. i really wanna put em out so dat they'd stop botherin me - but unfortunately; i just dunno how. i cld not findin the rite words to do so. or i really dunno y and pehal i was dis way, really. all dat i know - i am fcukin numb. and i trully hate myself when i am like dis.

and i wanna be out of dis 'comfortably numb' territory.



shait. its killin me.






me after the 'barber' thinggy.





coldplay.





watched em in Coldplay; Live in London semlm in StarWorld at 7.30pm wit Soleh. both of us we like nyanyi2 discreetly to the vocalist. kelakar. i think they r superb. funtabulous. i fall for every song. the music fcuktastic. the lyric is somethg else. Soleh terus off to his Bit Comet to download their discography.. the whole collection of the albums which mean - the whole songs.. heh, nanti aku copy jer..



mornin, ppl. hav a nice Saturday mornin. headin for Padang Polo for a bit of jog and aerobic there soon.. wanna come? heh. and yeah - mamak for tosei after dat as my bekpes. hehe







Jerry Maguire, again.











Jerry Maguire (Tom Cruise)

I love you. You complete me.

Dorothy (Renée Zellweger)

Shut up ... just shut up. You had me at hello.





Rod Tidwell
(Cuba Gooding Jr.)

Show me the money!





Jerry Maguire
(Tom Cruise)

That's more than a dress. That's an Audrey Hepburn movie!



Take a look at "Jerry Maguire" - you'll love it.





..




i know its crazy. i've been watching dis movie again and again - wit out a fail dat i begin to remember most of the conversation in it. theres somethg about dis movie - dat i cant explain. havin the chance of havin somethg in life, letting it go, struggle wit life, struggle wit everythg, and realize dat life is much more dat wats standin infront of u.. i dunno. it is nice. it is so damn fuckin nice..



and listen to Secret Garden by Bruce Springsteen.. u'll fall for it.



definitely.




*sigh* i shld be sleeping now.









nitey nite!






cant be sleeping as yet - i know its kinda late alrdy - somebdy punch me pls so dat i'll knock out n fall asleep. i wanna wake up early and off for a jog and a bit of aerobic there - its a mass-aerobic trow. hit home, do some work, off to gym, and i think of goin for a movie, may be. alone. yeah.





nite.






Friday, March 13, 2009

like i care..



i dun believe in co-incidence. theres no such a co-incidence in life, it is. but lately - silly thgs happened. tak penting mana pun - but it makes me do some thinkin about the co-incidence thinggy. heh - no such thang. yet i want to share wit u about dis.




Scenerio 1;


Location - the gym.
When - coupla days back.



i was in the gym alrite. theres was the two of us - me and another guy; barely know him - but its kinda 'hi' and 'bye' gym-mate jer.. the gal who works there; she knows wat kinda song to play each time i jejak je masuk the gym and do the work-out. and i enjoyed her selection well.. all those 'thumb.. thumb.. thumb..' kinda music - u-know-wat-i-mean.


but suddenly - all out of sudden, she changed the music. i went to the counter and asked her in a joking way - 'pe hal muzik mcm ni plak neh?'.. and she said coyly enuff, 'upon request!'.


and gez wats the music? its Jamal Abdillah!! erk.. (Jamal at the gym? ru freakin crazy?)




Scenerio 2;


Location - the office
When - dis mornin, after the meeting.



all dis time - it was me the only lecturer who really went ga-ga like playin the mp3 8 to 5 in my own room. jst like all the students said - 'nak tau mr shah ada kat bilik ke tak.. kalo mp3 is playin - well; he's around. if its not - he's not in la tu..' kinda thang.


but dis mornin.. thgs change. one of the fren is playin sort of mp3, rite from 7.30am in the morn., till 12.30pm before Jumaat.. (thank God i din hear it after dat rite till 5pm!!). it plays again and again - i aint sure if its the whole album or wat - but again and again dat it started to make me havin dis nauseating feelin as if i wanna puke all over the places. i am not tryin to be rude or 'lupa diri' watever it is.. but let me be frank in ere - dats wat i feel, God sake.


and gez wats the music? its Jamal Abdillah.. euw! (heh!)




Scenerio 3;


Location - Simpang 3 Bandar Tambun (traffic lite)
When - jst now.. around 10.30pm



i was drivin pretty fast - wanna get home and hit the shower.. and suddenly the traffic turns red and of coz kena la berenti.. theres a car on my left - Wira if i am not mistaken. coupla young guys in it. i heard dis 'thumb.. thumb.. thumb..' kinda music. so aku turunkan my auto window wit the tot of 'whoaaa.. must be kinda nice mixes they r playin!!..'. only for God sake..


and gez wats the music? its Jamal Abdillah, God forbid? (r they ok or not?)




..




is it a co-incidence? heh. it wont be worth a cent of thinkin pun.



like i care.






appearance.






so there i was - feeling good about myself (as i always do). i was dressed. i was ready to head to the office again. and i was goin to actually drive my car out from the carpark. i was goin outside as usual like - hrs after i reached home..



Soleh sees me as i am headin out the door:


"along - ur cute today. u look like a 'homeless' person..".


oii!





Wednesday, March 11, 2009

better day, trow.




its a nice day indeed. i am gonna end it now - and hit my crib alrite. went up to Taiping GH for my clinical visit for some bed-side teaching (or so-called like dat), drove down back to Ipoh in heavy down-pour, sleeps well at 3pm at home, hit the gym at 4pm and home by 6pm.. and now - think i am ready for my another trip - to the MuMuLand.


gotta be early - for trow 4am dah nak kena bgun do some pressing all the baju, since i am goin to UKM Cwgan Kampus Sains Kesihatan in KL for a field trip wit stdnts there.. another looooooooooong day to go, indeed.


but i bet i am goin to hav a good time, hell yeah. and so do u ppl out there, ea.


nitey nite.


..comes around.





lemme paint dis pic for u, honey -


u spend ur nite alone
he never comes home
every time u call - all u get's a bz tone
i heard u found out - dats he's doin to u
wat u did to me - aint dat the way it goes?


when u cheated me
my heart bleed shait
so it goes wit out sayin - dat u left me feelin hurt
jst a classic case
a scenario

tale as old as time
u got what u deserved


and now u want somebody
to cure the lonely nights
u wish u had somebody
dat could come and make it right


but i aint somebody with a lot of sympathy
u'll see
wat goes around - will always comes around!







status.




James : wats the truth in ur heart?



me :

the truth of my heart, James

is dat
theres no truth
no truth at all
it is a false heart
a vain and shallow heart
dat cares only for itself
it is false, it is selfish.
it is of no consequence.



Marshall : ur havin fever, eh?




*heh*





Tuesday, March 10, 2009

nite.




i am done wit the day. after for about a week i was away from the office - i found myself sprawled on the floor, rite infront of the idiotbox way too early and i hardly open up my eyes pun. done wit the jog, wit the gym too - enuff wit thgs in the office and a bungkus of nasik krabs (as for nasik kerabu, according to a fren of mine) - i am all out for sailin rite thru to the MuMuLand.


i wanted to write about thgs dat i went thru in the gym ptg tadik - tp nanti2 lah.. malas la pulak. so damn sleepy.


nice rest, u out there. gnite.





yawnnnnnnn..






the table/desk.. and stuffs.




i started to feel as if i wanna puke all over the desk now - my eyes gettin smaller, i yawn like nobdy bizness and my big mug of caffeine doesnt helps too - it seems. whoaaa man - dis is so not in! and the worst part is - its Tuesday. and u know la its like i only got God-help-me-get-thru-dis-day of me at work.. and the rest of it - do u hav to ask dat aar? heh. astudent came in the room and was like 'sir, muka u mcm berak kapor sajer neh.. naper?'. thanks God aku tak debik je muka minah tu.. otherwise, jadi kes plak heh.


only few ppls r around - my biggest boss, the second bos whos doin the catwalk all over the places, mr nazri, mail, ramesh, rodziah, isma, izzah (she came to the room jst now - for a small talk, bley? haha.. and said 'wahh! shah, baju baru eh ari ni?' - thanks Izzah, ur the only gal yg notice wat i wearin anyway - every single day! hehe) and mr anwar (euw!), mad ramlee.. and the rest of it - staff ofis larr.. i wanted to go out for a brunch - then again, rasa malas sgt. isk - aku malas sgt ari neh. segala2nyer malas.. wat is wrong, eh?



heh!





me - today. MR H was just passing my room jst now - again; for like, 4 times, dis mornin? c'mon la sir.. as if i dunno yr game. ur sucha good reporter alive, around i know. we know. everybody knws hell yeah.. ur catwalkin down the hall; doin the Naomi Campbell thang, and do nothg. nothg, at all. but then - the big boss r updated all the time. all the fcukin time. not even missin out a single petty thang. kinda funny, aye? yeah - its funny ur sayin boys r not doin their works while u knew everybdy r tumblin fcukin upside down doin thgs and u r just like - pretend to be bz. i am sorry - i am goin to repeat dat again - pretendin to be a real damn fcukin bz, alrite. dammit - how i wish i cld be u. life wld be much more merrier, i bet. God sake.


eh - join Bernama lah. wld be good for u. or perhaps - TV3. u can replace the Karam Singh Walia much better. trust me. and dun go for RTM and such la, then nbdy wld never know u then, sir. after all - RTM? eh - who watch RTM anymore, eh? silly.


Mr H - i am in my room alrite. i am markin the papers alrite. u cld see me like cryin, tryin to catch up the freakin date and submit the marks rite on the fcukin time. u can see dat, aye? so stop catwalkin by, and havin yr so-called head n noce held up high, in the fcukin sky. its not like i am punchin my card in and off i go for a drink and balik rumah.. at 5pm, punch out. or wait - like dis. punch in, catwalkin up and down, then went off fetchin yr kids from school and off wit the wind, like dat - perhaps?. oppss.. is dat kinda harsh? really? bugger off!


watever.



Monday, March 9, 2009

Taiping thg.





reached home by 5.30pm. i had Soleh drove all the way from Taiping till ere. the road was pretty packed alrite - its kinda long weekend, i gez everybdy's takin chances doin the 'balik kampung' thang.



had a nice time there in Changkat Jering. mak long was there in her daughter's home - its our sepupu then - so we head there rite away. sampai sana - kak ngah and family was alrdy there - and yeah, they r doin the cookin thang.. it was tomyam, ayam masak kicap wit sambal belacan and all. i was thinkin - tot mak long was doin kinda bad, nice siap mkn2 plak, pe kes? - back then, she wasnt dat bad.. i think she's havin dis sort of 'umbilical hernia'. i know it is pretty rare in adult, but she's havin sort of typical symptoms of it alrite. she's yet to put under the scapel, cuma there'll be a TCA dis coming Thursday - to decide perlu ke tak she off for some op procedure. buat saspen sajork..



wish mak and abah were there too jst now.. both of em r doin 'jalan2 rumah anak' and at time being - they r up there in Jitra, at abg cik's house.



kinda miss em both, yeah.

off for Taiping.


mak long is not doin good. she's planned for a kinda elective op dis comin 17th., and i din know a thang about it alrite. tu pun i had a brief conversation wit Soleh dis morn in the kitchen sayin dat kak ngah told her so wit the tot of 'eh, ingat along dah tau dah..' kinda thang. heh.



done wit the early morn jog. ramai org sey there in Padang Polo. had a great one, felt so fresh. i am headin for a shower, and hit the road alrite up to Taiping.. ptg2 ni nanti balik la, since esok dah keje..



talk about keje.. esok. shait. nak muntah lak rasanyer.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

abes dahhh.. yayyy!







its over. really, over now. i mean - the torturing days yg aku tak sbr2 sgt nak get rid of em well. yeah - the exams r over now.. yayyyy! i swear to God i am goin to hit the crib damn early, qado' all the sleeps i lost over past coupla days.. and since trow is a public holiday.. i am gonna hit Padang Polo early in the morn., for a jog and do thgs i love of doin when its a holiday then.



wat else? think i'll write more, soon lah.



hav a great off day, ppl!









me and the gym, ptg tadik around 4pm.. had a great time
ventilating my rasa geram tak bley jwb exam,
rasa over-confident tp flop and such!


heh.






al-Sagat.. erk, silap. al-Sagoff.




me and Nazmir - sorry Amir; i cepek
dis from ur blog.






and dis is Nazmir al-Sagoff. ex-student of mine. we were so damn close, attached to each other. i was so damn happy man when he was around. he wld jst walked in to my room - and thgs changed jst like dat. the way he talked, he smiled, the expression and such - dah bley buat aku throw some tonic clonic on the floor. but then - now no more. kinda sad. but dats the fact. ppl come and ppl go. but those yg btol2 changed u and made yr life different, they'll definitely stuck in there - in yr heart till end of time.



btw - he's goin to lapor diri dis coming 10th. i wish u all the very best, Nazmir. i know ur gonna be alrite. i know u'd loved by ppl around u. do well. the very best. take chances dat come by u for it there'll may be no second chance. live life, be free. and dun let life, leaves u. jgn Tuhan, hormat mak ayah.. ur one nice kid dat i wont forget.



all the best, Nazmir!




last day.. yayy!






..well, a bit of re-cap of yesterday's papers. the first one - hate it! mcm gampang. frankly speakin - i hate myself for answerin it like.. erk - freakin shait. i aint sure of wat i answered as well. but then - the second paper was fcuktastic. aku managed to finish it up wit in 30mins and blah paling awal out from the hall! bley? alhamdulillah.




rainy day for the whole afternoon up till midnite, yesterday yeah.. went to Tesco for some shoppin, dining out hell yea. reached home by 9pm - aku dah alrdy flat rite on the floor. mandi2, jump into my boxer and off aku crawled into the crib.. i aint happy as yet - aku still hav a paper to go today, to be precise. its 'psychology of social and interpersonal behavior' - kinda like dis alrite, hope i'll be doin it good then.




cant wait to get rid all of dis, really. really, really.





heh.





Saturday, March 7, 2009

exam, 2nd day!







basically - i am so bloody fuckin confuse now. i really am. and all these theories r makin me mad. makin me lose my mind. how am i goin to remember the whole freakin theories in a short of time? heh - stop havin dat face. i know it alrite. shldve started early, but i din. so the blame is on me.. is dat ur sayin? heh.




eversince i woke up at 3am - i alrdy had em all; a) aku dah mandi 2 kali, b) aku dah bancuh a big mug of Nescafe.. i started to feel kinda dizzy now, c) aku dah tertdo 2 kali kat meja study neh, d) i kept on havin dis mp3 players stuffed into my ears for i cant stand studyin wit no songs at the background.. e) dah 3 kali aku on off my lappy but aku 'berjaya' not to log-into FaceBook! (skang lain laa.. i am havin a break, okeh!).. and a lot more.




cant wait to get rid of a day like dis. heh.









muka stoned. tak cukup tdo. terlbey caffeine. heh.





Friday, March 6, 2009

first day.. done.






heh - finally, i am done wit the first disastrous day. i aint sure of wat i am answerin jst now - hentam sajork. as a fren told me before i went for the papers.., 'ko goreng je.. jgn hangit udah!' and gez wat - i think dat was wat i've been doin jst now. heh, goreng2 pun - aku jgk yg kuar last skali dr hall, siot! hehehe..



a bit lite headed. wanted to jst hit the crib, tp Jumaat la plak.. and i dun think i'll be doin the zzz thinggie after the Jumaat kot - mght be as well head for the gym. lagik awal, lagik bagus.. since org tak der. so the whole bloody floor belongs to me then. heh.




i'll be back. but for now - semayang Jumaat la first..





the d-day.. exam lar bro!! huwaa..






the d-day is finally ere. i need some luck. i mean - the whole wide world of luck. heh - i am not sure of wat i am feelin. numb. sleepy. i dun really think i am really DAT prepare dis time around nyer papers.. aiyooo.. matilemek mcm neh.


i jst wanna get rid of these days - jst like dat. i wish. i hate exams, God sake. i never ever EVER like it em, anyway. i wonder who on earth came up wit dis bloody idea, indeed. heh.


wish me luck, will ya. i jst need some miracle in ere.


heh.





Thursday, March 5, 2009

alone - in the crowd.









"A brief smile as you pass someone by, a quick hello to a remembered face, instantly forgotten among the masses. An innocent conversation with an old friend or colleague, who desperately tries to remember who the other person is they are talking to. Inherently, people are always alone and part of the mass at one time. In the memories of others, they are one face among a sea of them, not standing out in the least. In the mind if that person though, it is just them, a single solitary person who feels that they would be remembered by someone. No matter what that person is doing or who they are with, they become lonely, because there is no other person in the world who can directly compare with their experiences, goals, and emotions. In the end, it's just one person, alone in bed, thinking of all the other masses out there, who are all doing the exact same thing, and wishing there was someone else there they could relate to."





** sometimes all u want to do is be alone. away from reality. sometimes its the only place - u really feel at home..





Wednesday, March 4, 2009

life is..





went to McD for a dinner. meeting up an old fren - a good fren indeed. kinda nice. its been quite sometimes since i last met him up. we used to spend time together, same hobbies, back-packing and such. so much in common. we shared so many thgs before. but after sometimes - both of us drifted away due to so many thgs. i aint gonna explain dat alrite. jst let bygone, be bygone. but - yeah, its a nice one indeed to hav yr old best fren back in together.



despite of dat - i wasnt really 'there'. my mind racing up upon somethg else. and meetin dis old fren of mine makin me think about lots of thgs. life. restriction. ppl's perceptions. and life. and restriction again. self-images. self-concept. how u live life upon ppl's expectation. and hurtin urself back in return. how u cant do dis u cant do dat kinda thang - so ppl will loves u. and yeah - talk about restriction. due to ppl's saying. ppl's tot. i dunno.



i jst feel myself is not like the one i know before. i dunno where i am heading. and i dun know wat am i doing. i used to believe in 'go wit the flow' kinda thang in life - but dis time around; i aint sure of myself.. wat kinda flow am i drifting in. is it do any good. or it'll harm me at the end of the whole process. i aint good in playin games. and most of the time - i am the one who've been played. due to my silly billy ways of thinkin - i-am-scared-to-hurt-u and its-ok-i-get-hurt kinda thang.




dis aint rite. i dunno. i jst dunno wats rite any more.





*sigh*





a good-listener?




i aint sure of wat shld i jot down in ere for today. theres coupla thgs happened to me alrite since mornin (eg; a suprise call from s'one down under in NZ! hahaha) and a few more. other than dat - usual thang lah. makan, tido, study, sawan in between, FaceeBooking and such. i think i am doin the FaceBooking more than i read la, today. aiyooo.. matilemek mcm neh! kena masuk rehab. FaceBooking is my disease (katernye).


but i wanna share somethg wit u ppl today. its about communication. way of listenin, attentively to be precise. most of us do listen to other. some of us even claim to be a 'good-listener' w/o really knowin wat the heck is 'good-listener' means. and most of us - do the listenin while havin a pre-mind set nye answer to throw back in return. heh. lagik le terok kalo kes mcm neh. by end of the day - u r confuse.. whos doin the listenin? and whos doin the talkin?


i hope dis followin can help u (and me too) to enhance our communication and help exploring perceptions of one another;

  • be an attentive listener. when listening to other ppl, u hav to put away yr own bloody agenda. and yeah - shut the fcuk up. and listen. attentively, of course.
  • do not put yr own interpretation into wat other ppl say.. dis is the biggest silly mistakes most ppl do. belum apa2.. dah ada silly own perception dlm paler hotak. keji lah!
  • jst wait for yr turn to talk and yeah - be patient while listenin to others. a so-called 'good-listener' shld be doin the listenin. not the bloody talkin. if ur into the talkin thang - grap someone and pay him.. and u do the talk.
  • show some empathy. yeah - not sympathy. he/she mght not needs any pathetic plain sympathy pun. an empathy will do great. the to-be-in-someone's-shoes kinda thang.. there r always 2 sides of behavior - opinions and situations. by bein empathetic, u can see and feel how the other person r feelin or experiencing and therefore - u'll be understandin em better. trust me.
  • and w/o empathy -there'll be a one-sided way of seein and interpreting behavior, opinion and situation. so - if ur not good or jst dun know how to empathize ppl - stop claimin urself as a freakin 'good-listener'.
  • be sensitive to ur non-verbal body language to avoid sending inappropriate msges and create tension in the relationship. eg; keep on seein yr cheap watch, yr eyes on other thang rather than on her/him and such. and yr eyes yeah - do look into her/his eyes once in a while. but not staring in the eyes, idiot. u mght be ended gettin a free slap on ur face. heh. coz its so freakin rude.
  • understand wat makes us defensive. it hiders open, clear and succinct communication dat can lead to 'misreading' of the situation and inaccurate perceptions. jst listen. need not to defend a thang!


erm - mcm bg lecture plak. hahaha.. hope we can learn thgs well, eh.






Tuesday, March 3, 2009

rehab?




lately, i received few of nasty comments and such for my postings.. sayin all sort of thgs. heh - aku tak amek port pun. i used to be damn naive last time - dat aku just let all the comment in thru w/o any moderation. but after one incident which really hit me rite on my bloody nose - i learn thgs well. i need to put up the comment moderation well enuff, so i'd be able to go thru em all, well one by one.



it hurts me alrite last time. but now - hey, ppl can say watever in their mind, i dun giv it a freakin shait, really. tak jadi kudis, pun i gez. yg mana aku rasa ok - i'll let it thru. yg mana tak.. definitely i'll keep it there as it is. kinda freakin me coz a few yg comment jst used dis 'anonymous' nyer nick je..



and so it says. pagi tadik aku check the comments - i came into one which yg agak pelik for me.. again - its from another 'anonymous'. msg dia pendek je.. very str8 forward..



'go check a song from Rihanna - Rehab.
hav a look on the lyric.
i think its ..... u. '




kelakar jgk. heard dat song again and again - tp tak terfikir plak nak tgk the lirik.. so aku spent my precious time jst now seein it, while the song on the background.. it says;



And now I feel like, oh
You're the reason
Why I'm thinking
I don't wanna smoke on
These cigarettes no more
I guess that's what I get
For wishful thinking
I should've never let you enter my door
Next time you wanna go on and leave
I should just let you go on and do it
Cause now I'm using like I bleed

It's like I checked into rehab and
Baby, you're my disease
It's like I checked into rehab and
Baby, you're my disease

I gotta check into rehab
'Cause baby you're my disease
I gotta check into rehab
'Cause baby you're my disease

....


Damn,
Ain't it crazy when you're love swept?
You'll do anything for the one you love
'Cause anytime that you needed me
I'd be there
It's like you were my favorite drug
The only problem is
That you was using me
In a different way that I was using you
But now that I know, it's not meant to be
You gotta go, I gotta ween myself off of you



i am a bit puzzled alrite. or may be i am not dat, really. but pening2 lalat. wat is dis about eh? i need to check in rehab? for wat? i aint any IVDU (intra venous drug user).. heh.


alrite. i am IVDU (I Very aDdicted to U) jst fine. so?



*phewww* some ppl r so freakin weird.





..bangun study!





2.45am - Sony Cube screaming wit FlyFM's wat-song-is-dat-on and buzzer.
me - heh! *pressing the snooze*





2.55am - alarm screams again.
me - argkhhh.. shait! *pressing the snooze again*





3.15am - again, it screams out loud..
*head under pillows, hand reaching out the alarm clock*

me - damn! erk - wat the f***..

(my Sony Cube hit the floor, alrite)








Monday, March 2, 2009

gnite..




finally i managed to finish up one bundle of exam paper budak2 neh - thank God. itu pun jenuh la aku turn naik rumah, 2 kali made myself a big mug of Nescafe (mati le aku tak bley tido mlm neh) and in between - theres numerous of breaks - the mp3 player, the magazines and such. aiyooo.. so very the. i am tired. but the eyes r damn wide open now.



i need to hit the crib early tonite, for i hav to wake up very early in the morn. trow, so aku bley ngadap all the notes, buku, modules and such.. well dats me - i remember during the hostel time; i hardly stdy at nite.. i'd be wondering around, usik org yg tengah stdy. get in between if theres some sort of discussion. went up to the rooms yg byk makanan - so i'd be able to eat for free.. hehehe.. and trow morn., few hrs before Subuh, aku dah bangun - solat hajat and tahajjud - and then i'd stay up rite away till the sun-rise, before aku hit the crib for an hr and off to the class.. and until now - i am doin the same. i find hrs before Subuh is the most proper, appropriate time to sit down and do some thinkin - for yr brain still good, non-pollute as yet.



theres coupla thgs dat i've been thinkin of, today. its about ppl around u. the changes. and such. and theres so much i wanna spill em all out in ere, yet i think - i'd be better off reserve em to myself. jst dat - sometimes, when thgs changed - u'll hav dis tendency to miss all the good time u had before thgs went wild, before thgs went down to the drain. u wish thgs to be the way it is before. u wish u cld turn back time. and u wish thgs wld remain the same. but as time evolve around u - it'd be impossible then. all u need - is to brace urslf, to face the music well. and pray to God dat ppl once u love - those came in and change u, those came in and give u time of ur life - wld be happy wit their own choices in life, wit their own life too, to be precise.



and i wanna be the old me. i wish i cld change ppl's perception - dat in dis life; i mean no harm, dat i din mean to threaten nobdy all along the way - i am jst a plain man-on-the-street who wish to hav a bit of good time in life, good ppl to love and get the chance to feel of bein love and such.



*sigh*





Mon-zombie-day.








at least i am a nice zombie on my bloody monday. heh.




sucha a typical Monday. nothg much aku expected for a day like dis.. my head still in Sunday mood, it jst my body je yg dtg keje.. heh. u must be thinkin - am i at stress? burn-out ke? well, be it lah watever it is.. i think i am doin alrite. jst dat aku dun really like Monday. tu je.


ofis - as aku expected.. kosong. Ajak and Karuna off to KL/Melaka for clinical supervision budak2 post-basic there, Amed to Alor Star doin the same thang. Mr Bong on leave - high fever katernyer. mail 2 wks on leave balik Sarawak. yg ada - aku je la. and a few other seniors yg masing2 muka mcm zombie dpt kurnia nyawa for the second time. Apiz is around - but then, as usual.. doin his Chipsmore thang. Din also around - but then.. heh, does he makes any changes? nope. ader ke tak der ke.. same je. hehe.. opss.. and Azli too. yg aku nampak setia - CC Ton je yg tak bangun2 dr kerusi di ofis nun.. pelik jugak - since Pengarah not around. selalunya.. mcm biasak lah - kalo kucing tiada, tikus berlari2 anak. heh.


nothg much. despite aku struggling to finish up marking all dis papers - tak jugak2 siap. heh. musykil aku. and aku able to finish up coupla other thgs too - since trow up to Friday; aku will be on leave. exam meh! wallaweyy.. cakap pasal exam neh - mammoth in my tummy sgt. pe haram pun aku tak study lagik. ada le sket2, tp tak lekat otak pun.. notes berterabur lagik.. cemaneh? bley? walhal Jumaat - Ahad ni exam. huwaaaaaaaaaaa.. i've made a pack. no blogging for coupla days, no FaceBooking 24/7 and no hanky panky. erm - mcm tak masuk akal je, kan? confirm.


lambat nyer nak pukul 5. another 45minits. mcm 45 tahun. stdnt tak der. ofis kosong. dah muak plak aku dgr mp3 neh. tambah2 plak asyek tgk paper budak2 neh. nak muntah darah rasa.


huwaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..