Wednesday, December 2, 2009

it aint the day..

it aint my day. i slept late last nite - doin thgs on my lappy for the presentation today, and i din manage to sleep after dat, God sake. like - at all. i think i do, may be - for coupla hrs, but hell not enuff. at 3.30am -aku alrdy blinkin, staring into the darkness - wondering wat the hell is wrong wit me. why am i like dis. how am i gonna get thru all dis, well. i remembering havin mix feeling at time - i feel sad. down. confuse. i was tired - mentally, physically. but i jst cant sleep. aku walked about the living room, up and down, and finally settled at the back room - about to sleep when the alarm clock screamin out loud - it was alrdy 5.30am. i know wat i am havin, and i am workin it out - but it jst doesnt works. they say terminal insomnia can be depressing - and iaku cldnt agree more. watdya expect - ppl r sleepin like shait - and u did for coupla hrs; but the terjaga tengah mlm and lead to no where.. and to make thgs worst - aku bertugas as Ketua Fasci today - gotta be early for Induksi since budak2 start prog at 6.30am. i feel so damn sleepy. theres anger in me. i hate myself. i hate every single thgs, God sake. after Subuh - aku off to the office.

final day on Kursus Pengenalan Microsoft ord 2007 for all the Sokongan 2, it ended up at 1.30pm today - finally aku bley sit down peacefully, tarik nafas dlm and thanking God above. but dats not the end - aku ada talk at 2.30 up till 4.30pm jst now on Motivation. simple for me, i think. but again - its tiring. 5.30pm to the field, supervising sort of out-door activities, malam kena datang lagik since ada talk from JKN to the boys, so aku kena ada around as a fasci. aku jst cant wait for the day to be over.. u know wat i mean.

theres thgs in my mind. i need to let go. i dun think i hold it back, alone. it kills me, God sake.

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