why do i work on the really boring project/thang at work, dat nobdy else wants to help me on? why is dat when ppl keep on sayin 'no', i will make sure dat i'll say 'yes' and do thgs well? because i understand dat dis is s'thg dat helps wit the bigger picture of my career. if it doesnt, then i'll make sure i dun hav to do it well.. real hard, alrite. i dun want to live a life avoiding thgs dat must be done or playing tricks on myself, jst so i do thgs i dun wanna do. tho - dammit; s'times i do. if i sit back and truly dun wanna do s'thg, i'll make sure i dun hav to do it. at all, dat is.
and dis doesnt mean i look forward to doin the dishes. erm, for example. i hate doin the dishes, alrite. beside shaving. dat s'times - i avoid using too many pots and pans while cooking. however, i do the dishes still, whenever i can because it makes the family happy and dats my biggest goal. doin the dishes gets me one step closer to the family bliss and who doesnt want to? do i really wanna claim, "i'll do the dishes!!" and do em reluctantly only beczuse i claimed dat publicly? or do i do the dishes willingly because it makes my family members happy and thus - makes me happy as well?
i dun knw. watdya think? God sake - all i dat know - i jst hate doin the dishes. period.
and i gez - i am havin flight of tots now, eh? so many thgs in my head now. blame me no, will ya. i jst need to let go.