Sunday, November 29, 2009

end of the day..

..for today, dat is. Cik and fmly jst left. Kak Ngah tnite. Soleh is having classes trow. Only me taking off day trow wit the tot of spending a bit more time kat kg. It'd be a bit difficult for me to be bck doin the balik kg after dis. Meetings, courses, trainings. Heh. Post-raining. Malas sgt nak buat pe pun. Bdn dah rasa sembab. Dah few days tak pi gym. Cuma lite2 je kat rmh. Heh. Maghrib soon. Nak mandi, sejuk. Tak mandi, tak best plak bdn..

Selama, Perak.

Mandi at 10am, mak mtk tlg aku went off to town; pekan Selama, to be exact to buy coupla thgs for lunch prep. Cik and angah nak mkn bihun sup, since daging byk sgt. And dat wat mum goin to cook us, for lunch. Goin off to Selama once in a blue moon is kinda rewarding experience, really. Tho i wasnt born in ere, but i was rise up in ere.. Dad transfered in ere back in 1974, and the rest r history. Selama was a small town. A town i rmbr i swear i want to be out of it, when i grow up. At the age of 13, aku dah away from dis small town until now.. But i came bck in ere in diffrent mode, as a med staff; workin in one of the medical facility, for about 3yrs before aku off further up my study and such. Selama town tak byk b'ubah. Ppl dat i knew r gettin older, yet still nice like they used to be. They never failed to tegur me when they see me arnd, asking me dis and dat. Living in Selama is as simple and peaceful as it can be. Ppl knw each other well; whch it cld be good, and bad at the same time. And as for me, i experienced both. Theres a feeling i hav, dat i hard to explain whenever i come arnd to dis town.. And i never fail to love the feeling, God sake.

Saturday, November 28, 2009

its home.. yayy!

Its 6hrs drive all the way from Tumpat to in ere, Selama, Perak. The road was kinda bz, but its alrite. I had my mind set on my kampung good, so i didnt giv it a shait pun about the distance. Cik, Ngah and Soleh r in. Whch means all the minimons r in, minus Kak Yang's. Rmh mak was like nak karam, kecoh giler. Yet i am glad. God sake.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

a loser, big time!

me, no? heh.

i think dis is bullshait. no balls. a loser. and a moron as well. sorry if dats too harsh, but i think it is. it aint a big deal for u, may be. but for me - it is. i dun know dis guy. and i dun giv it a shait to spare my time knowing him pun. i dun know where he is, and wat he do. and aku cldnt careless pun. yet the fact he's using my pic as his profile pic on his so-called FB was way freakin unacceptable, God forbid.

thanks to Saif for askin me if i ever had any other profile online, which put me in a hot pan. and thanks to coupla frens yg do alarm me on dis, so i can take some so-called proper action.

watever it is, i aint mad. cuma terkejut sket. and - yeah, of coz i was mad, owl-ly shait. heh. go put up ur own pic la, bro/sis. or if u dun want to, yet u still nak put up some pics so ppl wld go owh-lala, put up ur dad's.. or ur mom's - bet they'll be proud of u, God sake. its a small world. jst dun do somethg yg u think its ok for u, but then - it aint.

get a life.

home alrdy! huhu

by 10.3oam - i am done wit work. for the whole next week, alhamdulillah. bet i can go havin my off-day next Monday, peacefully. i told CC; Kak Ton to not look out for me next Monday for 'sy nak cuti dgn aman' kinda thang.. she was jst 'heh' me je.. haha.. module sent for printing, thanks to Azmil for his no-one-wld-thnk-he-can do-better works, today. i gez, when u stop being judgmental, u hav trust in others to do thgs well - u'll be havin good things in return. as for Azmil, he had all dis bad thgs all about him every where.. but when he works wit me, thgs r fine. he can do his work up to my expectation, which is such a 'whoaaaaa' for Pengarah, definitely.

off for a brunch wit Apiz and KF. met up wit Isma and Nirmala at the warung. had a real long chit chat over the tea-tarik, it was like nbdy biz. after all, we din get much opportunity in doing dis pun.. so we were like havin out good time, munching and talking. Isma and Nirmala r mother-to-be.. so most of the talking thang r about em both lah.

home now. done wit laundry while doing the idiotbox-ing as well. lama dah tak tgk tv. bley? haha.. sementara the sun is up there, i gotta do thgs fast.. perut penuh. keje siap. so online jap tunggu Zohor before off for MuMu-ing for a while. i hope i can spend another 2hrs at the gym ptg ni, insyaAllah.

or else, i am gonna be another MokMok in town, during dis Eid'ul Adha! heh.

it aint Monday, thank God.

Monday, no?

it is Monday, no? it is? no?

yeah i know it aint. i mean - it aint Monday holy shait. but it feels like for me. may be i was away for the whole 2 days back, and today was like the 'first' day i am in the office.. (i was in the office last Monday, wat?). heh. office kosong. most of the lecturers taking the oppurtunity for the stdnts r not around - masing2 pakat amek cuti Eid'ul Adha awal2 lagik, doin the balik kampung and such.. and as for me - its gonna be tonite lah. since i din sumbit any of borang cuti for today - aku dtg la keje, kan? but then - gez wat? its goin to be a half-day sajork for me today. at least dats wat i've decided. but then again - before aku leave the building - aku need to finish up thgs for next week, so nanti tak tergedik2 like worm in a hot pan.

1 - 2 Dec, aku need to handle dis Microsoft Word Basic training for the staffs - for PRA, PAR, driver and such. so i think it aint gonna be dat tuff la kot.. me and the team we r trying to lower thgs down to the ground up to their level - so tak susahkan aku, tak crack the participants nyer kepala.. anyway - sumer dah siap. module je pending for printing. shall be done on coming Monday. aku dah delegated tugas to Azmil and Kasturi to finish up coupla thgs, and aku'd jst supervise sajork.. hehe.. 4, 5 6 Dec i'll be in Kuala Gula - Kursus Pembangunan Insaniah utk kakitgn - aku kena jadik fasci jugak! heh. wit coupla slots for me - talks, games and such. no cuti again for me.. 9 - 10 KL again, meeting in PutraJaya. again. argkhhh.. and imagine - at the same time aku gotta run the Induksi Khusus/Umum yg only ended up on 9hb. cemaneh? do i hav to cut myself into few pieces? keji, kan? kuli. dats wat it is.

everybody was like in their on world. Eid'ul Adha mood, dat is. as for me - aku mcm tak perasan plak. heh - and aku'll be leaving for east coast mlm ni, and Saturday morning come back to kampung ere plak.. before back to work on coming Tuesday.

theres so many thgs to write. Bukit Tinggi and such. but i am gonna do dat soon. not now. i gotta go continue running and catwalking around - showing dat i am doin work.. hahaha.. shut up. i am workin, ok. heh.

and if i din get the chance to wish dis - think i shld be doin it now. Salam Eid'ul Adha.. hav a great one, and happy holidays ppl!

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Bukit Tinggi, at last.

I finally managed to be there.. I am glad. Really am. The surrounding, nature, building and such - amazed me. Not many ppl, suprising for its a school holidays. I can finally take dis off from my so called list of thgs to be done/places to go. It was a great time. Great place.. I'll upload more pics, insyaAllah.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

outta town.

Done wit Induksi arnd 11pm last nite. Aku, Fina, Rod eager sgt2 nak jst went str8 home and do lay off for the day. I bet the stdnts, too. We had great time, laughter and such. Otw back, aku singgah mamak jap - for my late supper of roti canai banjir kari and limau suam for a drink. I knew it aint healthy - late meal, such meal. Tp aku lapar sgt2, cld be due to early dinner dat i had earlier. Smpai rmh dah midnite. Rumah was like 'kosong' sgt, tho Soleh was arnd.. most of the time, he wld jst lepak in his room, online. Aku naik atas, mandi, solat, made me a big mug of plain Milo, and online jap. Nthg there. FB mcm lengang je - aku jst jumped from one to another ppl's wall, chcked emails, tgk2 blog.. by 1.30am aku cldnt help to feel so tired, dat aku jst off everythg and jumped into the crib. I aint sure if i really fall asleep or not; by 3.30am aku dah t'cegat dpn my silly idiotbox, alone - doin some channel surfing. Feels like i'd like to do some poppin, but takut plak nanti t'lajak tdo since 5.30am aku dah kena ada kat Medan Gopeng.. Now aku lapar sgt2, puas tdo since thgs turn out to be alrite, so far..

Monday, November 23, 2009

Monday equals to crazy.

Monday. again. watdya expect? to tell u the truth, i dun really expected anythg at all pun. i know its gonna be hell bz for me, today. reached Medan Gopeng at 4am, aku was like ting-tong a bit since i cldnt really sleep in the bus like aku used to.. and seein Soleh - adik aku yg bongsu neh - was alrdy there in the car waiting for me (i told him i'll be in by 3am!), aku rasa sdey la pulak.. he was supposed to be on dis trip to Intel, Penang at 6am.. heh. he lacked of sleep. and aku pun. fair and square.. smpai je rumah - aku terus tukar boxer and jumped into the crib for a bit of MuMu, by 6.30am - aku dah siap Subuh pressed the shirt, siap2 and off to work.

Induksi Umum/Khusus untuk K20 kicked off today. Mr Bong as wakil kepada Pengarah, started off wit his ucapan, perasmian.. leaving me and another 3 lecturers (as fasci) kinda mengantok giler atas pentas, staring blankly into muka budak2 neh.. aku tgk ramai jgk la yg ber-Guru Yahya - kepala lentok kiri kanan kanan kiri like nbdy biz, sleeping. heh. thank God i wasnt dat way.. kalo tak - mampus. and starting 11am till 4.30pm tadik; it was all ours - Pembinaan Kumpulan, Kerja Kumpulan etc etc.. it was me, KF, Fina and Rod as fasci. KF as Pengerusi, tp aku tgk si Fina and Rod neh kdg overruled pun ada sket.. heh. ok la tu.. haha.. tak pyh aku didik teruk2. bley?

by 4.30pm, aku decided to call off the day - for the stdnts, and for us too. penat lah! nanti 8pm kena pi kolej lagik.. so siap je aku dismissed kan dorg - aku trus chaloowwww.. pi kedai mamak order mee goreng satu, koew teow goreng satu.. utk Soleh and me for dinner. portion besar giler. aku puas mkn, tp at the end of it - sdey la plak. ari ni dah la no gym, no jog.. tp mkn mcm kuda. argkhhh.. and aku sempat jugak pi barber fav aku - he was like puzzled sekejap, bila aku decided 'tak mo potong' (i.e rambut, ok!!). cuma trimmed sket je, do the goatee, moustache and off aku out from the shop. aku remember he was like, 'btol ka tuan, tak mo potong?' kinda thang, repeatedly. heh! big time.

beg tak kemas lagik. so many thgs to be done, so little time katernye. will be off to KL for another 2days starting trow.

rambut sejemput, i know.. heh.

the budak2 during the Team Building Session

me brunch plus lunch plus tea plus dinner..
i know! i know!! ssshhhhh.. shut up, will u?

Sunday, November 22, 2009


I cant sleep last nite. Hit the crip early, woke up at about 3am - left me blinking, tossing up and down till azan Subuh. Its depressing to see others r sleeping, snoring, experiencing MumuLand like shait. And its depressing to listen to all those katak, cengkerik et al making noises, and to the rain falling cat and dog; all nite. Now dat i've done wit Subuh, aku feel so damn tired, and sleepy dat i thk i shall be doing nothg at all, but to catch some sleep. It cld be due to thgs in my head - i hate myslf for i cant clear it off, and set it 'mute'. Or it cld be the new surrounding. I dun knw.. *sigh* Gnite, anyway.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

raining + sleeping = ?

Reached in ere around noon. It was raining all the way. All day. I was in bed eversince then. Nothg much. And yeah.. the meals too. It is jst the first day, and i am started to feel i am bloating like nbdy biz. I feel so weak for golek-ing way too much. Nyesal tak byk lappy, rasa 'disconnected' sgt. And its raining, still. Aiyoo, buhsan sgt2. And the idea of 'good boi mode activated'.. agrkhh.

thru the rain..

will be having a short break for the weekend. i am driving off thru the rain (mcm Mariah Carey je eh?) and will be back by Sunday nite - ETA ere before Subuh la kot, for i gotta work next coming Monday.

u ppl hav a great weekend too, eh. and do take care.


Thursday, November 19, 2009


I am not sure how to conclude today. It started alrite, but towards the end, it aint so. The travelling left me mentally fatigue. I hate to think things, but it keeps coming back - hitting my skull now and then. I dun knw wats left to say. And to think. Or do. I shall leave it as is. I aint scared. A bit of sad. And i feel numb..


a day to go, before TGIF. but i gez i am already there. tell me sthg - am i burning out of wat? heh. and does dat makes any different? let me provide u the answer - the answer is 'no!'. its still the same. it is gonna be the same.

as for today - i gotta all out for the Buku Program utk Kursus Induksi nanti. i got no choice. Mr Bong wants me to come out wit one, and dats wat i am gonna do. tho deep down aku still rasa bengkek giler dgn Amed - lantak la.. dis is ur day. hav u heard thgs called 'KARMA'? heh. i trully believe in one. so - i gez i shld tone down, stay focus, and do thgs as it is.. senang. abes citer.

cant really sleep, again - last nite. i hit the crib early last nite, i think around 10pm aku alrdy in the MuMuLand.. but by 1am sthg - aku tersedar. and the story went off as usual. i wondering down stairs, in and out the bed like shait, forcing my eyes to shut the hell off.. finally layan FB je. and ended up aku tertido balik - ntah, cant really remember at wat time.. sedar2 org dah azan Subuh.

shall try to finish up thgs as early and as fast as i can. gotta travel up today. and gotta be back before 6pm. aku hav to. and aku cannot afford to re-schedule the TCA, anymore.

u hav a gr8 day, ppl. see u around.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

off the pantang!

1/4 pinggan of nasik
wit byk lauk, and byk sayur..
healthy, kan?

and dammit; aku langgar 'pantang' ari neh.. supposedly aku jst had like 2 keping chapati for my regular brunch/late breakfast like usual.. tp pg neh - aku smpai je kedai akak bwh pokok tu.. lauk2 utk lunch dah siap. aand aku saw dis masak lemak labu plus kobis yg happened to be my freakin fav.. and terus aku buta2 je order nasik. it aint a big deal pun - since aku order nasik laik 'separuh dr separuh pinggan' leaving makcik tu ckp like 'cukup ke Shah, suku pinggan je neh?' kuat2 dpn org2 lain. heh. terkulat2 jap aku tersenggih.. aku need to explain pun, so aku diam2 je and senyum ceduk sayur and a bit of ati ayam goreng kunyit! God Lord - kirakan aku berapa jumlah kalori sumer neh? matilerrrrmelk. heh. aku tau it aint a big deal pun, nak makan - makan je lar! pe gado2? but the point is - dah 5 ari aku tak mkn nasik and aku breathing well je.. all dis while aku ratah sayur mcm kambeng and ratah lauk now and then.. and today - dangggg!! aku makan nasik! heh. cemaneh?

jenuh la aku berlari extra miles, extra time on the treadmills nanti.

there's no 'mkn nasik' in dis book,
to stay fit.

and gez wat? accidentally - aku terjumpak dis book on my study table, jst now. i remember i put there like coupla days back, sajer je nak khatamkan sekali lagik.. and seein it, ahain today - making me lagik mcm.. argkhhh!!

and gez wat? i brought the above book to the office now, so dat aku bley abeskan.. like, ptg ni jugak? heh.


stay back in the office
and u'll get fat.

aku wonder where all the lecturers went. ofis neh mcm sejuk sgt.. dgr mp3 aku je. kinda boring. i mean - hell boring yeah. aku aku nampak betol2 sibuk - Mr Ismail je dgn talk on Pengenalan HSR, Mr Bong yg dok ber-ketwok up and down. yg lain2.. heh, kucing tadak tikus berlari2 anak, kah? errmmm.. u think i am gonna stay put, jst like dat? proposal Kursus pengenalan MS Word 2007 utk PRA dah settled, tentative program dah settled, slides utk talk on Motivation coming 3/12 dah settled.. pe lagik eh?

shld i head the gym.. like now? errmm..

mid of the week, alrite!

typical Wednesday. shldve be in Kampar/Batu Gajah again today - but aku re-scheduled. and aku shldve be up above in Penang; re-scheduled. again. havin sort of meeting at 2pm yg aku cant afford to excuse myself.. Mr Bong called me up early in the morn. - he wants me to be there in Bota for a talk on CPR and Choking Management to like hundreds of budak2 pengakap.. and gez wat? aku managed to excuse myself, thank God. i dun feel like doin anythg at all for dis coupla days to come. at least up till end of the month. budak2 started go around lookin for HSR (research) supervisor - accordingly to the scope given. aku as usual - will be supervising those yg buat on Psikiatri/Kesihatan Mental. but then - budak2 neh main 'chop' je, w/o knowing wat scope/title to work on. and aku had like 12 org yg dtg jumpak aku - wanted me to be their supervisor. heh. giler aper? ramai weh! so aku perambat sekor2 balik dulu, fikir nak buat tajuk/skop kajian pe.. and then decide nak which lecturer.

aku mght be involve wit Induksi, by next week. mau tak mau - i hav to. its gonna be me, Farina, KF and Rod. Amed yg patut handle the whole crap.. tp nak pi umrah plak. aku actually tak kisah la nak pi umrah ka, al-haj ka, apa ka.. tp keje settle la dulu. howdya expect u wld be doin umrah peacefully when ur work inere - berlonggok2 tak settle, tak buat pe pun, last2 org yg tak berkaitan yg kena buat kan? aku geram, marah, sakit ati pun ada. jst dat ur bein treated like ur a blue-eye-boi of the big boss - doesnt mean u can be doin anythg at all, at ur freakin ease. so - mmg tak la.. pg2 lagik Amed dah kena sembur dgn aku.. i need to let go. sorry la Amed. ko kwn aku, alrite. w'pun tak kamcheng mana.. tp when it comes to work - aku tak suka mcm neh. jenis nak senang sorg2, susah lps kat org. mcm gampang.

aku mula rasa serabut plak dgn rambut2 aku yg tak la panjang mana neh. i wanted to keep it for a while - and i gez i'll hold on the word la kot.. tgk la, kuat mana iman aku neh. and i wanted to hav it up there, kalo btol2 nak botak balik pun - wit a reason. such as - biar dah 'mula gugur' nanti.. not naturally. but.. ermm. then again - aku tensen je tgk mamat2 kepala botak. rindu arrr! heh.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009


if theres a day when thgs r not up to ur expectation; making u feel so damn freakin hopeless, helpless and so debilitated - not knowin wat to do or how to put thgs in its own way.. aku gez today is the day. it started badly for me dat i forced myself to go to work, only to find dat i wasnt belong to the office like aku always do. i ended up doin the same thang.. again and again. i dun feel like telling tales in ere. nobody wants to know bad thgs. ppl enjoy knowin thgs dat wld makes them happy. and i gez dis is the time when u know who really do cares about u. but its ok. i gez dats the way life is. and it wasnt good enuff for a guy like me who needed some kinda good thang to build up proper spirit to carry on wit life - talking shait, telling sad thgs. but then again - keepin it inside - i know it aint good. i need to let it out. but.. i jst dun know how.

theres so many thgs yet to be done. may be i shld taking thgs as it is. as it comes. may be i shld be living life as it is.. enjoy every bit of it up to the maximum; wit ppl dat i love around me.

i feel like taking a break. i wanna see more beaches. the white sand. the seas. the breeze. i wanna go highlands more, if i hav the chance of doin so. i wanna spend more time wit those who cares, wit those i care the most. i want to finish up thgs i've been doin. for at least, i will be havin no regrets later.

the pain is unbearable. sometimes, i see less. glares.

Ya Allah. gimme strength. dats all i need.

Monday, November 16, 2009

shut up (and train!)

Every day u train is judgment day. Each rap, each plate matters. U dun make time for talk. Cheap sweet talk. All u care about is movin weight. Nthg else. Dis is hardcore. Dis is animal. Dis is real deal. Can u handle dis? Wah!! *heh*

Kellies Castle.

Done wit Kampar, aku otw to Batu Gajah now. In A&E Kampar, a case came in - 65yo mly man wit cardiac arrest for resus. Aku get arnd givin hands to the staffs wit tubing, CPR and such, yet failed. Kinda sad, but dats the fact. Done wit dat clinical thang, aku get together wit the stdnts. Apparently they r kinda 'shocked', they've learn theories and such but yet to see such thang wit their own eyes. And seing me being an adrenaline junkie at work was way different i bet, rather than seeing me standin infrnt of em all in the lecture hall, all dis while.. But the patient passed away. Damn. Here i am at Kellies Castle, taking a break for a while. I nvr missed a chance to stop by, to see dis huge 'half-baked' castle; built up by an Englishman for his wife, wit the hope one day the beloved wife wld be able to stay in it. But the wife died for s'kinda pandemic there in her English land, the husbnd went bck there, and nvr came bck in ere. I dun knw. Dats wat i knw. Typical love Shah Jehan - Mumtaz thgie. But the building is still ere. Stand tall. Wit love in it. Loneliness. And spooky, too. Left me wondering, again. Wit so many thgs in my head. Heh.

its Monday! (and watdya xpect?)

reached the office early. dammit - got lot of thgs to be done today, and yet; i aint gonna be stayin put in the office pun. so.. i was like - who cares? hehe.. gotta go for Hospital Batu Gajah and Kampar for pre-clinical teaching/supervising/visiting budak2 Razak neh.. heh. whole day at the the both before i hit back in ere - home, it is.

feeling a bit tiring and sleepy - i din get much sleep last nite. for the past coupla weeks, i keep on terjaga early in the morn., around 3 to 3.30am - leavin me wonder how am i gonna get back to sleep. most of the time, aku will be off the the other room, and will find myself sleepin there till the morn. kinda weird, spooky too. i mean - u knw wat it is.. 3am in the morn and such.

nice weekend. old fren and such. want to do the update - but; ermm.. will do soon la kot. its Monday, it aint day for u to swing ur balls around (tho i know i do it a lot). hehe

gotta go. breakfast first. and off behind the wheels. catch u later.

Saturday, November 14, 2009


i was doin my usual browsing on Wikipedia on 2012 - when i come across dis article and it links to one another.. and gez wat? gross. scary shait. on my bird-day? heh


433 Eros

On January 31, 2012 Eros is expected to pass Earth at 0.179 astronomical units (16.6 million miles), about 70 times the distance to the moon, with a visual magnitude of +8.5. During rare oppositions, every 81 years, such as in 1975 and 2056, Eros can reach a magnitude of +7.1, which is brighter than Neptune and brighter than any main belt asteroid except 4 Vesta and, rarely 2 Pallas and 7 Iris. Under this condition, the asteroid actually appears to stop, but unlike the normal condition for a body in heliocentric conjunction with the Earth, it never appears to be retrograde. Its synodic period of over 846 Earth days is among the largest of any body in the Solar System blah blah blah blah u go to the link and read the rest.

Taman Seri Botani - Saturday in a wrap.


a part of the whole thang.

u wanna jump? u jump,
i see sajork.


the silence.


..and wasted?

semut ber-dating.

look at the sky..

the sky - it never fails to amaze me..
beside the sea and the river.. :-(

alone.. but free.

another one..

looks like its gonna rain, aye?

Wonderpet sudah dtg!! *yawn*

and the fish - they r damn freakin big..
geligeleman siot.

i rather kill myself if they r the one for my FishSpa thang.

wheres my house?


i love dis one!

standing tall!

and the sky, of course!!

i woke up at 8am dis mornin - kinda way too early for a weekend, but i did. woke up, din really know wat to do - i decided to hav a real 'family' kinda day - i drove off to Taman Seri Botani somewhere in Simpang Pulai there. been there once, but i literally been chased off out from the taman since the eco-park closed off at 7pm. so today - i've made a pack; i gotta be there, wit my camera and such - killin time for the weekend. i was like kerja mcm keldai for about 2 weeks now; dis time around, i am gonna hav my whole Saturday Sunday to myself - i am gonna kill anybdy who'd stand on my way, God sake. heh.

the eco-park was simple. but sweet. well preserved. and the best part of it - it was surrounded by coupla taman perumahan - which are most of em r still in progress. dun ask me about 'hows the house looks like' kinda question - for they r all like damn freakin big, nice and superb hell yeah. dammit if i knew dis area way back then, i wld buy one - the house, it is - around ere, surely hell. the cuaca was nice; looks like its gonna rain, but it aint. the sun was kinda malu2 je nak kuar, making the surrounding was so damn nice to walk about, taking the sweet fresh air, and snapping some pics too.

but *danggggg!* suddenly bateri kamera aku went flat! shait. flat like tak bley nak buat pe2 dah!! geram aku sioll.. heh. finally, i gotta snapped coupla pics using my Xpress Music sajork. bodo btol. i mean - my mistake. shldve charged it earlier! heh. and personally - the pics dis time around din really up to my expectation pun. so so. bley la utk update the blog.. rather than nthg at all.

by 11.30am - dah panas terik. scared dat i am gonna get a bit more itam than i am now (bley?) - aku head home. lunch out at McD, balik rumah.. Zohor and.. dabussshhhh.. MuMuLand!! hehe

wow! and no ballon, of course.

went off for a jog in the park again. no sunny sun out there, so aku run like nbdy biz. its 5pm, yet aku in around the park - wit no risau of UVA/UVB. hahaha.. 6.30pm, ujan turun mcm tak hengat.. aku terus balik, siap2 mandi and Magrib - aku hit the dapur for my other mission. its been a real long time aku din cook on my own; and i feel like doin it tonite. simple one - spaghetti in tomato sauce wit all in it. kasik jiran sikit kiri kanan rumah.. and the rest of it - its a history!

Wednesday, November 11, 2009


Vicks Vapor Rub.
cant remember when was the last time aku used dis
and i did - last nite! haha

doin much better now. sleep early - sleep a lot, indeed the whole day, yesterday! and dammit i feel lot more ebtter, much better indeed.. perut dah ok, demam dah subside sket. so ari neh - bley go around and make a bit of chaos ere and there. hehe

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

to eat, or not to eat..

And dats the question. Diarrea dah kurang, tp perut aku still mcm tak selesa; making me wonder wat to eat at time being. I am hungry, God sake. No proper breakfast, i skipped lunch as well. By the time smpai bilik arnd 3pm, aku didnt hav anythg at all, still. And now aku was like lapar sgt, sekor kuda pun aku bley hbskan. Ermm.. So tnite, kat Ampangan. Aku wld love to go for some lite western, tp tak kena taste plak dgn senior aku neh. So aku ikut je la, tho rasa mcm phobia lagi nak makan such gerai. And menu for tnite - tea o ais, sup daging kurang pedas, and roti telur. Ok la kot, eh? And ORS, for sure. Heh. Tak pernah aku lembik lutut mcm ni, siot..

diarrea, fever.

A&E Seremban..

Both of the above enuff to make me suffer. It was like 6 to 7 times dah aku b'ulg tandas, diarrea like nbdy biz. And the fever, damn i am so cold. Shivering. I ask Mr Ganesh to let me rest in the sick bay for a while, when he straight away call a transport, order a senior Mr Tamby Syubr to accompany me to A&E S'ban for some antidiarreal, ORS, antispasmodic and PCM. Before sending me off to Sri Malaysia. Segan plak aku. Segan sgt2. Tp aku dah letih. Penat. And aku tak kira dah la.

Aku nak tdo je..


I feel numb, still. I am down wit fever, a bit of diarrea plus abdominal discomfort. I am tired of havin dis urge to do my thang in the washroom, again and again. And i started to feel weak, God sake. My body aches my shait, i wish i cld jst stay back in the bed, having real good body massage. But i aint driving, and Seremban is one bloody spooky dead town. Too much eating, spicy food, aircond round the clock, no physical xtvty make me a sick lazy boi. I aint sure wat i've taken smlm dat makes mè havin dis sort of conditiön. And for the breakfast tday - i jst had a cup of thick tea-o and some local fruits. Hope dat wld calm down my bloody bowel movement.. Taken my PCM, Hyoscine and my dly med., i shall now leave for KPPS. Damn. Wat a day to start.. :-(


Someone once told me
That you have to choose
What you win or lose
You can’t have everything
Don’t you take chances
You might feel the pain
Don’t you love in vain
Cause love wont set you free
I could stand by the side
And watch this life pass me by
So unhappy but safe as could be

So what if it hurts me
So what if I break down
So what if this world just throws me off the edge
My feet run out of ground
I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
Don’t care about other pain in front of me
Cause I’m just tryna be happy, yeah
Just wanna be happy, yeah

Holding on tightly
Just can’t let it go
Just tryna play my roll
Slowly disappear, oooh
Well all these tears
They feel like they’re the same
Just different faces, different names
Get me outta here
Well I can stand by the side
And watch this life pass me by
Pass me by

So what if it hurts me
So what if i break down
So what if this world just throws me off the edge
My feet run out of ground
I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
Don’t care about other pain in front of me
Cause I’m just tryna be happy
Just wanna be happy

So any turns that i cant see
Ill count a stranger on this road
But don’t say victim
Don’t say anything

So what if it hurts me
So what if i break down
So what if this world just throws me off the edge
My feet run out of ground
I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
Don’t care about all the pain in front of me
Cause I’m just try to be happy
Just wanna be happy

Happy; Leona Lewis.

Monday, November 9, 2009

and its Monday..

heavy day today. and its been rainin every now and then. i am not feelin dat good either. stuffed head and body. i keep on thinkin of goin back to the room and hit the crib. nothing much as for today - the marking went well, managed to finish up coupla heavy papers - orthopedic, O&G plus Behavior Science. and general surgery as well. gotta lead the group consisted of few young and 'baru masuk keje' doin the markin on Behavior Science - i had a tough time in moderating the marks and such - for they dun hav much experience in doin the markin. pening paler aku - geram pun ada.. tp aku tak amek port sgt pun. heh.

i decided to put coupla things in 'cold storage' for time being - i need not any bloody un-needed thgs botherin my head, unnecessarily. those thgs yg tak significant, those thgs yg tak penting and such. it may hurt me a bit initially - but i know i am gonna be fine. life is a karma. a merry-go-round. wat goes around will always comes around. u've been thru dat alrite. jst dun bother to ignore or say 'no' to it, hell yeah. u do good thgs - u'll get good thgs in return. u do bad thgs, try coverin up wit bad thgs u've done at ur back - it'd be out sooner or later.. u know wat i mean. dun ask me y and wat. i am not keen of explaining.

think of headin MuMu early tonite. i need some quality time in bed, sleeping.

hope trow will be alrite.


I gez dats dats the rite word. Aku dah tepu. Pening. My body starts aching for i dun get the chance of havin sternous physical xtvt like aku used to do in Ipoh - gym, jog and such. Aku rasa nak feverish too, due to aircond like arnd the clock. While havin all dis thg slowing down my higher thkg faculty of the brain, aku hate to deal wit coupla stupid thgs too. Or people, to be precise. They nbdy in my life pun. As much as aku never regret they faded away, but the silly thgs caused suffocates me. And i really hate it damn fcuking much. When they r ok, they'll leave u ok. But when they r in shait, they'll put and drag everybdy in shait. Ridiculous, it is. I am tryin to find wat kinda personality disorder is dat, to fit in. And gez wat? I cldnt careless pun. Let them fade. Let they do wat ever they feel do. For ppl r not stupid to acknwledge their idiotic stage performance pun. Dis ppl wit dis kinda mentality wont fits anywhere, at all. I'll jst wait till they creep, crawl bck into ur life. For dis aint the first time, God sake. And when dat time comes in, I shall then jst sit bck and laugh.. But then, i aint an idiot. I wont do stupid thgs like dat. Knwing they r aint dat 'clever' enuf, i shall then sympathy.


Surprises and opportunities will appear from the most unexpected places. If you're prepared to take some risks, you could receive some positive rewards. -> The horror-scope for today. I aint sure how to take dis. Heh.


I started to feel boring wit all dis same bck to bck types of br8fast. I normally dun hav one, but workin wit u gotta hav ur brain on track, and ur brain needs glucose to work on thgs, aku drag myslf to hav some. Mak wld be smiling on dis, kan? For her son is havin a breakfast, and need not to bear wit excuses like 'nanti sakit perut', 'nanti b'ulang pi tandas' et al. But to keep on havin the same menu again and again - dammit, next! Hav sekaya and roti, AGAIN dis mornin. My fav, alrite. But like every morn? Gez my life is worth better than dat. Nak mkn luar, sini pedas2. Aku rmbr had a series of diarrea post breakfast on the first day ere. Bkn mkn pe pun, nasik lemak je. But the sambal bilis was like, wöw! And the story begins rite after dat. Shldve my nasik lemak wit sos tomato je dat day. Heh. Heading to KPPS now. And s'thg there still up therè in my head. Gotta clear it up now - s/ada aku want it or not. For i cant afford to be 'serabut' in my thkg faculty nowadays.. :-(

back on track.

first day of the week. nice sleepin last nite - hit MuMu early around 10.30am last nite, but i remember i was really off to sleep after 12am; after rolling and tossing around like nobdy biz. theres thgs in my mind alrite - but nothing serious, i think. my senior keep on puffin in the room making me havin the same urge - i started to lit on some and i know it was so freakin wrong. shait.. the boredom, i gez.

its gonna be a long day today. i bet papers will be in more today - and we will me marking like hose yg keje kilang, as usual.

i wanted to write more, definitely. but i gez i gotta be more selective nowadays. i cant be writing thgs jst like dat. theres so many unknown out there and i refuse to get tangled wit any of the psycho-sociopath anymore. deleted some of the entries in ere before. and i will write more, definitely.

malas siot, to kick-off the Monday! kinda miss Ipoh, dammit.

Sunday, November 1, 2009


i am sad. i feel so humiliated. i never feel dis way. i tot i cld share thgs dat wld ease my burden - now i think i am a plain wrong.

i shldnt do it at the first place pun.