Friday, October 16, 2009

good life?


shait. shait. shait. dats how i've been feelin for the last coupla weeks. dun knw why. and dun u bother askin me why, too. my workouts are flat. no energy. appetite is low - tho sometimes, yeah - i did eat like a bloody horse. i dun even want to spend some quality time on my works, too. but tehn - i gez i cant complain. most days r shits (except for coupla days dat i really treasured). and yet still - i get a coupla real gems in between. on a good day - i feel inspired. its like ur on a one way mission - but u feel like a hundred bucks. when u roll outta bed and look outside - where there were dark storm clouds of doubt and weariness, u see nthg but blue skies and a sun smiling down on u.. everythin falls ur way. findin a twenty on the sidewalk. drivin down the street and all the lights are blue. i wanna hit new records on every lift. fcuk yeah - dat is the good life. a big part of me wishes every day were like dis..

the rest of me knws it cant be. see - i dun want the so-called good life. not now. at least. i've got too much work and thgs to be done. the good life can fcuk u up sometime. the good life makes u soft. the good life fills ur ears wit sweet music dat makes u forget.. forget the mission, who ur, wat matters most. shait - after a while - all u wann hear is dat bloody particular damn sweet music. and dat music drowns every single thang out; incldg dat voice in ur head, God sake. most ppl go thru their lives, numb, preferring to listen to the music, to themselves talk, to everythg - but the voice.. they lose their way. i gez - again; i am kinda lucky. i know - i did mistakes. my life wasnt like any others, it fulls of lumps and bumps. its a roller-coaster. yet, most days - dat voice inside my head is wailing like a freakin, fcukin siren. its so loud dat it sometime keeps me up at nights. keeps me honest. it wont let me forget. but when i get too many good days piling up one on top of the other - too much of dat good like, is - well, i plug my ears and roll up my sleeves. i pick up the hammer and get to hammering. after all - w/o dat voice - i wldnt be who i am. and who i can be..

and i gez - dis is the important part - jst do not forget. do not drown in the music. listen to ur voice. it is sayin somethg. God sake.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Dear Shah Shahe,

When problems are so big and your strength is no longer enough to carry them,don’t give up...coz where your strength ends, the grace of ALLAH begins...

-miss a.i.a-