Wednesday, July 1, 2009

at random eKawan






- i cant be rememberin off all wat i wrote in the blog, God sake. most of em r like - i feel like to write, and i jst did - and i post it alrite. the same thang wit all those thgs i wrote in my old blog in eKawan (http://shahe.blog.ekawan.com). but a fren of mine - dis is weird for me, i mean i dun deserve dis i think - kept on tellin me the liking for readin all stuffs there, again and again.. i was - of course - havin dis kinda nice feelin in me - for at least, someone is readin my rambling alrite, all the shitty thang in it, and left me like - heh, appreciated. the feelin was like - wow. period. and below is the selected ones - i am not doin it by myslef - one of the reader said the below entry was kinda funny, nice etc.. haha.. i am not sure wat it is. but i'd love to share it u ppl.
. btw - i wrote the below for the 1st day of January 2008.








Happy New Year..



new leaves..


its a new day, alrite. a new year. yet the same me. it mght be the same me - but i refused to be in the old me. i wanted to change. for betterment. theres so many thgs i got it done alrite. and still - theres a lot too, yet to be done. i gez life's like dat - 'kalo tak dpt sepuluh out of sepuluh pun.. dpt lapan pun dah cukup', i remember Shamsuri once told me.

i had a great chit chat dgn Niza, Fae semlm before aku off for a jog; whilst waitin for the off-time from the ofis. the gals asked me 'wat makes a man cool' kinda thang like dat.. we laughed wit our own responses, of course. they did asked me too, for bein a man 'sure u tau wat it tkaes to be a cool-man'. coyly i aswered em - if a man managed to handle a baby, how to deal the mess they r makin, know how to dukung the baby well and makes the baby sleeps wit the hands wrap around the small creature; i think THAT is cool enuf. God sake - i just dunno where it comes from, but i gez i mean it. i got 'whoooaaaa..' for the both gals for dat. and i kept on thinkin about it alrite.

spent a nite at home as usual. went off to Giant for some stuffs - only to bump into so many stdnts of mine there.. they were like 'eh sir, celebrate NY kat Giant je ke?'. yeah - watever. i wanted too, to go to wit the crowd - theres a massive celebration of countin down the NY in Rum Jungle there in Tambun Lost World.. but i jst dun hav dat 'feel' anymore. i feel nauseated amongst the safocatin crowd easily nowdays (but then, i din mean dat i hate it completely larrr..). i am not sure y. a part of me kept on telin my ownslf dat - shait; i am gettin old now.. by end of dis month, i aint no longer 33yo! heh. so dis time around, i just lingered around at home - listenin in a distance all the fireworks doin it thang, ppl screamin yellin at the top of their lung. its a NY alrite. but then - wats so great about it? ur gettin older. life's gettin shorter and harder. theres so many tougher thgs out there waitin for u, i gez.

i received numbers of sms wishin me HNY. to all those may concern - thanks. aku tried to reply as many as i can - but then; as usual - Maxis is a fcuked up when it comes to dis celebration nyer time. a few of em askin me wats the resolutions and such.. to be frank - i did think of some; indeed. it may not grande like yrs, but at least - i had some for a start. as aku told u before - i never had one all dis time. i just dun blve in it. i am not sayin i am not, but for the sake of it - theres nthg wrong if i am, kan? at least - i lay down some, work on it to make the goal alrite. so for dis new yr, i decided to;

  • work smart - i wont work hard anymore. in the structure i am livin/workin, workin hard means u gotta lick someone's arse; and i hate doin it. i just dun hav such skill. as long as i do my work well, i gez dat'll be just fine.
  • read more - i wanna read more books. magazines. be it watever dat i can read. i got coupla backdated magazines dat i yet managed to pun my hands on it.. of course - i did feel kinda waste, and definately then - i need to go thru em all.
  • play more, too - in a real sense, of course. more gym. more jog. and more sports. i am gettin no younger. life's got to get goin. and if i din take care of my ownself, no one will. i gez.
  • i wanna settle down - cant live life like dis. i wanna hav ppl dat i love, spend my life wit - thru thick n thin - by the time i am leavin dis whole wide world. any takers?

had a breakfast dgn Apiz and Ajak dis mornin. we discussin about how 'goyah' we r now stayin back and work in the place we r now. i myself kinda sad wit thgs around me. theres too much of pilih bulu, back-stabbin, dog-eat-dog, inconsistency. all dis re-branding and such r all on the paper jer.. back then.. heh, wont go thru dat. i hate it when i hate it, of coz.

so for dis NY to come - i wanna be a real person, a bit more of myself. i dun think leavin in dis particular persona wld do me any good. i am alone. lonely. and it sucks.

anyway - Happy New Year, eh. live life, dun let life leaves u. coz when it does - no life any more lorr..

to PG - its yr BIRTHDAY today, aye? HAPPY BIRTHDAY, PG. may all the good thgs will come all along dis yr, insyaAllah. be a nice person, eh - as u always r.





*heh*





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