Sunday, May 31, 2009

life is..

sometimes, in life - we wont be getting exactly wat we want; as we want it to be.. or the way we want it to be. sometimes in life too - we wld be getting somethg a lil bit the same - tho it aint exactly as wat we r dreamin off. and yeah - sometimes in life - we will get the shait out of wat we exactly want all our life; jst like the way it is.

i dun know why the above thang keep on filling up my brain like coupla hrs back now. but i gez dats the way life is anyway. sometimes - we r dreaming thgs our own way, we r wishing it too hard for it to come true; u started to build up some hope, expectation. but when thgs aint workin the way it supposed to be (for u), ur hopeless. shattered into pieces. ur down in a deep shait alrite. then u started to blame life for wats not. u think dis shldnt be happening to u. and why dis freakin kinda life - treating u bad.

i've been thru dat alrite. and i am goin thru dat - not once. but again and again. somehow it makes me stronger. tho i am not sure how strong i am alrite. but i do know - each time i am goin thru the phase again in life - it'd be at the end of the cycle, in no time at all.

i love wat i am havin rite now alrite. nobdy can question dat. and nobdy can say dat i am wrong. i'll stand my stance well - tho it mght makes me sound a lil bit foolish and idiot.

i jst wanna a hav a lil bit of time of my life, once in a life time.. wldnt dat be a real mistake for me then? i know life wldnt be dat long - so jst let me hav dis, even jst for a while.



venue - the gym

time - 4pm

in my ears - Linkin Park feat Jay Z; The Collision Course.

i started gritting my teeth back again, wit a bit of anger. hatred. and surprisingly dis kinda feeling, fueled wit dis kinda tuned pouring into my ear canals - do me good. i cant believe i was there in the gym for the whole 2 hrs plus; doin the thang i shldve been doin like a month back. talk about channeling yr negative energy into somethg better. heh. and i cant believe i was listenin to the whole album; again and again for the whole period of time. i was like pumping some irons wit my mind flyin all over the places.



Yeah, rite. So it said. Rite time.. 'As mysterious as love may be, the agony of its loss is an even more baffling experience, driving many men to depths of despair they never knew existed. Now, however, researchers have begun to see through our haze of pain, and understand that there's actually a method to our sadness..' as it said. Heh. I dun feel like reading it thru pun. But i think its Keanu Reaves on it. And he looks alrite tho. Wit tears running down his cheeks.


Breakfast. Nasi lemak daun pisang. Selfmade. I repeat, selfmade! I woke up at 8am wit dis beautiful smell tickling my olfatory nerve. There in the kitchen, mak and ngah dok bungkus nasi lemak - wit daun pisang. Kimie, Areeyna dah loncat2 in q waiting for it. The best part is - tak sempat letak for display, ada je tangan nyambar. Heh. Mak when it comes to nasi lemak - it is one word - SUPERB. The nasi lemak will consist a lot of thang; halia, bunga lawang, kulit kayu manis, daun pandan and many more. The sambal; wow, not dat spicy yet it is spicy enuff to make me sweat like hell (tho tak pedas, tp ada je cabai aku dah peluh heavily - makes me thinking of s'one sweet now.. heh). And there's ikan pekasam too, timun, kcg goreng and such. Heh. Enuff said. Time for my taste buds doing some celebration. And, shait. Mkn byk la mcm neh. Matilemekgumok..

Saturday, May 30, 2009


..and i'm home. Left Bgn Serai arnd 5pm, aku finally arrived kg 30mins later. Mak dah smpai dr knduri, and abah as usual was doin some reading alrite. Ngah and fmly off for Penang for some reason and i was asked to go wit em; but i reluctant.. Penang aint a good option 4 me now, i hate the jam for God sake. And now - rasa nyesal plak for not following em. Dis hse kinda empty, senyap sunyi. Heh, aku wonder how mak abah, stayin ere, both of em day in day out. Soleh plak was no where to be found - he's driving my old Satria, and dat explains his disappearing act every now and then alrite.. Biar la, bkn selalu. Asal mak abah tau his whereabout, aku tak ksh sgt.. I hardly focus. Keep on thking about trow - wat and how its gonna be. I am hoping for sthg good, but then - wit not much expectation. Shait. I am confuse. By having hope and no expectation - isnt dat 2 incongruent thang? I dun knw. I jst hope for the best.. and dats all dat i knw.

the minimonsters..

Me and the minimonsters.. obviously i've been bullied by em like shait. Kimie aka angah (wit no shirt) and Hazwan aka acik wit face yg mcm monyet tu (it aint my word, he said so - wit proud, of coz).

i am bck!

Its a rare thg to be on the road for the whole 2hrs plus to be in ere; Bagan Serai (kak ngah's place) frm Iph. But tday, it is. I was on the by-way from Iph to KK when finally aku decided masuk hi-way - for dammit, byk sgt lori along the way. Tp it wasnt making any difrnt tho, hi-way pun jammed gler wit cars - typical M'sian - sumer pakat2 nak drive sblh kanan, but once on right, they drive like kura2. Bodoh sgt.. Kak Ngah cnsistently urge me, asking me 'nape along kurus neh?' kinda thang.. wat did i take, how did i eat and such. I aint sure if i ever shed some weights, tho aku did notice yg aku dah bley fit all my jeans and pants wit 31w. Erm, interesting.. Even smlm pun, aku beli suar pun saiz 31w.. and itu pun londeh. Heh, over plak, eh. It is so nice to be in ere wit all the kids and familiar faces, arnd. I do feel less lonely, of coz.. tho deep down, önly God knws.

in short.

i want to write back as usual since coupla days back - but i kept on putting it aside since so many thgs happened lately - especially the whole week, last week. thgs dat u never tot it'd be, thgs u hate it to be and such. it takes me a while to get up and walk thru as usual. i knw i am strong, tho sometimes - i dun really knw how strong i am alrite.

i am goin to put up pics aje lah, to make thgs simple.

Thursday nite - tunggang langgang do the popia thang for Hari Quality
(dat was yesterday).. first time dlm idup aku do such thang -
and it took me and Soleh for about
2 hrs to finish up 150 rolls. heh.

the inti popia - selfmade, ok.

one of the boy for the ICT Club doin the deco thang. last minit jugak - walhal
aku dah sound awal2.. mcm gampang.
nak jgk aku leter, baru nak keje. heh!!

few of the stdnts - Mat Nor, Acap, Punesh (in apron), and erk - aku tak ingat la nama budak2 neh.. kanan sekali - yeah, Ikan.
at least dats wat they called him. and he's ok wit it! huhu

popia in the kuali. sedap weh!!

Mat Nor, Acap, aku, Punesh and dunno-wat-la-the-name in front of the gerai.
tak la grande mana pun. tp one of the main attraction!!
sebelah kiri - gerai Ajak.


selesai wit the Q Day on the Friday - half of the day; aku decided malas nak balik office any more. the headache was a pain in the arse - so aku balik tido jap.. around 3pm - aku drove to work back as usual; but i ended up in Jusco instead. pelik kan? haha.. i need to look for somethg 'black and red' for the dinner held then. i aint got nthg on black and red. black sajork ada la.. so - finally i did some shopping - somethg yg lama jgk la aku tak buat. and as usual - aku ended up jugak beli thgs yg aku tak tau perlu ke tak - in one bag. heh.

these r the thgs - shirts and pants. and beli sepasang je for the nite -
aku finally 'tak sengaja' beli more than dat. shait.

the boys - K19; at the dinner wit their show. typical indeed.

duduk semeja dgn all the young lecturers yg sekepala.. haha.. senang sket.
the gals - from (L) Mala, Izzah and Rod.
Ajak, Azli, Mail r not in the pic. heh.

we had it ere in Heritage. kinda nice.

me and Ajak. aku dressed biasak sajork - but comply wit the theme!
senior2 pakai batik.

some of the students - post-dinner.


came back late around 12am. by end of the day - dis is r all fact. ppl comes in and ppl leaves. and dats wat makes yr life keeps on goin. i remember knowing these stdnts eversince the first day on registration, bully dorang on orientation day (and aku plak kena bully semlm), teached em and finally seein em leavin. kinda sad. but i take it as it is.

i am goin to spend my weekend at my parent's. singgah jap at kak ngah's jumpak all he minimonsters and ptg baru off to mum's la kot.. dats the initial plan. i dun think mak gonna be around pun since she and Soleh off to Lenggong - ada kenduri sedara. cant wait for mak's cooking, tho bein in kampung wld make me more malas. think i'll be doin the mobile-bloggin from the phone je la, peh ni. kalo rajin.


i am still numb. i was happy coupla days back - expecting for somethg, soon. but then - no expectation. its kinda hurt when ur standing, waiting - half of u r havin dis 'wanting it to be happen' and half of u keep on telling to stay low, no expectation at all. may be i shld jst go wit the flow - for i aint dat strong to go against the flow pun.

hav a great weekend, fellas!

Monday, May 25, 2009

and i feel numb.
i jst dunno wat to say
- or how to react.


I gez i hav to be strong. I hav to stay strong. I hav to clear up my mind and stop thking abt all dis shait. Tho i aint prepare or ready for all kinda suprise - esp the freaking ones - i gez i hav to. Dis is so beyond my control and there nthg much dat i can do. God knws how i wish 4 the best. But then, i jst hav to prepare for any possibilities..

Happy Monday, fellas!

its Monday - watdya expect. i aint gonna start rambling about the whole thang - i jst hope today wld be a nice one (if it aint gonna be agreat one, tho) and thgs gonna be jst fine.

cant really sleep last nite - despite of panas sgt - i cant really put my mind into mute dat theres so many thgs dat i supposedly need not to think about - but i did, and it was so out of hand. i remember wakin up around 3am - walked downstairs, sat in the sofa - staring into the darkness. walked up back again, strugglin myself to sleep - sedar2 dah 6am and gotta dragged myself to the shower. heh. wat a great way to start a day, aye?

its Monday (again). and its kinda day yg aku hate of thinking - particularly today - the 25th. i jst hope for the best. somethg nice. i am not really prepare for some kinda suprise; painful suprise indeed.

and i jst hope for the best. dats all i can do.

afterall, i aint dat somebdy to be much ado about it, i gez.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

nitey nite!


i miss it so damn badly - and it hurts dat i cant be doin anythg at all. i miss it so much - dat i started to feel so damn suffocated i hardly breath.

how i wish i cld handle the whole situation. and how i wish - i cld do somethg about it.

but unfortunately, its so damn beyond my control.


i jst hope dat u know how crazy i am - for u. dis is yr mistake - ur the one who makes me fall for u.. :-p


human nature cannot be predicted. we all think dat we all knw somebdy. dat means - we believe dat we knw how a fren or fmly member wld react to a situation. we think dat we knw dis at least about ppl we r very close to. do we really? i've been thinkin about dis, alrite. i dun hav answer for it, either. the question y ppl change - is so damn subjective. yeah - do we really? if dat were true - relationship wld not sour, God sake. b'coz our partner is surely a preson we knw a lot about. but suddenly - we r confronted wit a partner about whom our feelings change or vice versa. y does dis happen?

i am not sure whether ppl do change at all. but surely - the way they behave, or act is so unexpected dat we feel they hav changed. or perhaps - they r no longer being the way they were before. in a relationship, a couple may hav been having the best time together. both partners think dat they r made for each other. there is a belief dat their goals r the same and dat their tots r damn fuckin the same, too. they r a perfect couple who r in deep romantic love and who seem to be unable to live life w/o each other.

can a couple change? i dunno. but i remember a fren of mine did tell me - yeah. i remember she told me, even a couple which shares everythg perfectly changes in relationship when decisions about values hav to be taken. if one of the partners has very strong values about smthg they will not surrender dat under any circumstances. i do believe so. for example - u hav a sense of wat is rite and wat is wrong. i also hav my sense of wat is wrong, and wat is rite. if i believe very strongly in my sense - i will never accept wat u want me to do. if u think dat lie is OK, life can be carried on and if i believe dat lie is a bulshait - can we ever share the same relationship? dis test does not come immediately after the relationship, but after some months or yrs.

we then suddenly find dat our values r in strong conflict wit our partner and watever effort we make is useless to change their point of view. at dat point - love turns bitter. as if suddenly some sour thg was added to a sweet.


talking to an old fren over the fone regarding dis - hits me alrite. i was jst doin the listenin, apperently shes in deep shait. to go on or jst walk-away. heh. i remember thinkin about changes around me and such.

i am so damn lazy to think, but dats the fact. i gez dats wat life, is.

ere i come.. (as-if)

dats it. i cant be sleeping (i mean - a nap time since aku lupa and took dat Lipo6 since today is Sunday) heh. and i've made a pack - i am heading for the gym now followed by a jog.. somethg yg dah lama sgt aku tak buat due to so many thgs. malas - was one of the thang, indeed.

i am hideous now. berat bdn dah naik. i gotta do somethg, before sumer org like 'heh, ko gemuk la, Shah..' to me.



An ambulance stuck kat railway gate, waiting for the train to pass thru. Wld dat be.. fcuktastic? 


the heh-calls

i was so pissed of when receiving such stupid calls from some unknown numbers.


'yeap - hello..'
'can i speak to Shah pls!..'
'yeah - speaking..'
'heh, Shah.. u kenal i tak?'
'erk - saper ni?'
'eh, u dah tak kenal i ke.. naper sombong sgt skang..'
'eh, hello. u tak intro - mana i nak kenal!!'


... apparently dis fella got me at the wrong time. i was doin my MuMu and golek-king in Sunday morn. mmg tak arrr!

'can i know whos on the line?'

*hang up*

'yeah, heloo.. anythg?'
'i am sorry - can i know whos on the line?'
*pissed off*
'eh, ur the one who called me - and now ur askin whos on the line? wats got into u hah?'

*hang up*

... and dis is so typical kinda call aku received everynow and then. calling me in, askin me whom they r talkin to. idiot!

'hello.. dis is Mr Shah****, rite? ru free now?'
'erk - yeah, sure.. anythg?'
'well, i am from St StupidMeCompany callin, jst nak confirm u - ru using any MasterCard/Visa Card or somehtg, sir?'
'ru sure, sir? coz our system said so..'
'a ah, nope!'
'ru sure?'
'heh, well - i am. but i am using Giro card sajork. does dat include?'

*hang up*

... another typical call yg aku received. mencik la. aku cannot tahan one when it comes to dis kinda call. diskaun card promo la, hotel card discount la, flight privilege la, haper la.. aiyooo!


baik je kalo tadak hp. tp fikir2, susah jgk. dah masuk hi-way hala nak balik kg, sedar hp tertinggal pun, gagah patah balik. gigih! so, mcmaner?


Saturday, May 23, 2009

Batu Gajah - Kellie's Castle.

Kellie's Castle, Batu Gajah.

my mak and abah - heh, posing, jgn tak posing!!

and anak dorang - iklan Darlie.

the building..

pretty darn big, aye?

as for me - dis is the scariest side of the building.
go in - u'll understand wat i am sayin.

yada yada..

i know - jst like the above. heh.

dis one, too.

Mr William Kellie Smith.

his great grandson.. ermm.. heh - sorry.

Kellie's Folly - the drawing.

For many years, Kellie's Castle has been shrouded in mystery thicker than the undergrowth surrounding the building. Today, it is a restored and meticulously maintained tourist attraction.. heh - for more info, visit or search in Wiki sajork.. i aint goin to copy paste em all into dis page, acting as if i am the one who wrote the shait. hehe


i was pretty bored - and i was not alone. i gez my mak, abah and Soleh too. after nap, around 4.30pm - aku decided to do somethg. aku remember mak did tell me how it'll be nice if she'd be able to spend some time in Batu Gajah. yeah - Batu Gajah. i was like - 'Batu Gajah? ada apa mak?' kinda thang. tp - heh, so all of us drove up to Batu Gajah then.

i think mak abah had a pretty good time. theres of coz nothg much in Batu Gajah - except for some old buildings and such.. and yeah - Kellie's Castle (or Kellie's Folly). been there coupla times, it was a great ruined mansion alrite. or castle. mak abah decided not to go in since dah around 6pm.. heh - aku pun tak terlintas nak masuk pun.. senja2. aku remember doin the tour in there - alone - around noon time, wit nobdy around.. i repeat - nobdy around - tu pun dah buat aku pucat and jalan cepat2 mcm kena kejar antu. heh. aku bukan penakut, pls. cuma kurang berani. hehe..

after dinning out - tomyam, satay and all dat - we head home. aku tau abah dah mcm penat sgt.. lps Isya' terus dis masuk tido.. mak - heh, sempat lagik bergossip2 smbel makan kacang botak.


sometime, times like dis will never come twice. i am glad havin em both around. they were there for me thru thick and thin, thru shait time of my life.

i jst cant imagine wats life is, w/o em both - around.

Hashim Miah. Sumuj Miah.

'..ur grand-dad name was of coz Abas Ali, but it was like a.k.a Sumuj Mia. and dat Hashim Mia was.. erm.. ' aku tak ingat dah. jauh sgt. tp ada kaitan - tho it was like bau-bau bacang yg aku pun tak pasti ada lagik bau ke tak.

dat was a conversation between me and my dad jst now over the lunch. mak nyampuk2 sket - explain thgs yg aku tak faham.. heh - still, aku tak faham. anak kpd besan menantu tok sedara la apa la.. heh.

i remember asking my father regarding dis Hashim Mia (the name was familiar, asked my dad if he ever know dat person) since fmly abah aku pun used to carry dat 'title' of Mia too.. (or Miah). cuma smpai ke generasi aku je.. dak tak bubuh (phewww!). and today - he asked me back regrading dat - sayin dat he wasnt payin attention at the place coupla weeks back when i asked so. and the story was like - superb! basically, all i can say is - my dad remember dat Hashim Mia and dat Hashim Mia got to do wit our Abas Ali aka Sumuj Miah!!

wow.. a small world!



shldve be in the office. appointment wit stdnts on their research thang.

cari kunci ofis - dammit - it was wit my car key.

and my car - Soleh bwk kuar awal2 pagi lagik..

i can drive another one - but the point is; kunci ofis!!

'erk - sy tak dpt dtg la.. ada hal sket.. postphone eh!..'

'alarrrr sir, kitorg dah tunggu dpn pejabat neh!!'

'heh, pi balik tdo. ptg kang.. kalo i rajin!!'

'sir neh..'


thanks God. ok gak. tak yah pi ofis. its Saturday meh! nak sambung golek2 under the fan, wit all dis small2 pillows, infront of dis bloody idiotbox.



beautiful Saturday morn. woke up at 6am for Subuh - aku immediately rasa mcm nak jump balik into the crib alrite. indeed - dats wat i am gonna do real soon - till around 10am since aku gotta go back to the office.. for some reason.

i had a great sleeping last nite. dun ask me why - i jst did. cld be for i had cleared up so many thgs - dat hav been haunting my head, buggin me like shait, for coupla days now. i was on the phone wit someone for a longer period of time - for the first time like ages! i miss it termendously, indeed.

hope its gonna be a great weekend, eh? dis is like the first weekend i am home, lazying around, doin thgs i wanna do after like 5 wkends in a row - i din get the chance of doin so. damn - durely hell i am gonna make the it worth, alrite.


nice weekend, u'all.

Friday, May 22, 2009

Friday. TGIF. so wat?

..and finally its Friday again. not dat i am complaining. i am looking forward for dis alrite. the weekend. and such. jst dat lately - i feel like as if i am running out of time. for everythg. most of the thgs, indeed. i am havin so many thgs to be done - yet wit so lil time in hand. i am havin so many thgs to show, to share - but then i am not sure if i'll ever get the chance of doin so. its kinda scary, i think.

theres so many changes around me lately. and i gez - i am kinda slow for it - facing it, taking it in, adopting it, and adapting it well as part of life. and lately - i am havin dis kinda 'new' way of dealing wit thgs; i tend to be 'cldnt careless' of wat ever drops into my life. no - i dun think it'd be dat bad. its kinda que sera sera thgie - wat ever will be, will be. i shall take watever comes in - tho, deep down inside; i wish i cld be havin more chances in controling most of the thgs in future. in life. back then - its a bulshait i know.

cant really sleep last nite. i woke up wit dis lite-headed alrite. and yeah - its Friday. the meeting. deadlines. i wanted to stay positive thru-out the day. but theres so many thgs buggin my head, and its so like 'never-end one'.


Thursday, May 21, 2009

love. infatuation. shait.

no it aint love. it is infatuation.

God knows how i wish it is love. for i do believe, it is love. and for i do too, hope - it is love. it aint makin fool of me. again.

but if it isnt - i'm shait.



howdya handle the ups and downs dat life throws at u? ru able to rise to the occasion at a moments notice? wat types of circumstances do u hav trouble coping wit, at times?

heh. trust me. we all hav ups and downs in life. me too. all the time. s'times it seems dat there r more downs than there r ups. pathetic, it is. but how i deal wit it - has changed a lot, over the yrs. when i was younger - i'd panic when life threw me a downer. damn, i am not sayin dat i am all good now, honey. s'times i screwed, too. i wld mentally scurry arnd my mind tryin to figure out a way to fix it alrite. dats now a bad idea but the down side of dat - is generating all dis negative activity alongside it - y is dis happening to me? y me? y not smbdy else? y i hav to face dis, like - again? y does it always happen to me? shait.

the bad stuff recedes eventually. dats wat they said. heh. it always does. somethg nice happens, somethg very positive and wonderful in life it cld be. it was hard for me to enjoy those times bcoz i was laways waiting for the other shoe to drop. good stuff never lasts long - somethg bad is goin to happen. make faces if u must - but dats the fact. call me idiot - dammit, it IS a fact alrite. but y do i hav to think all dis? can i jst stop, and enjoy the moment as it is.. and leave the rest as it comes? *sigh*

of course - bad stuff is goin to happen. dats jst the way life is!!

i've changed the way i handle ups and downs after yrs of dat rollercoaster ride. i pray, not only goin down but coming back up as well. on the plummet down, i think dis too shall pass and when we r goin up, i'm determined to enjoy it to the fullest and not worry about the next plunge.

i can usually handle a crisis. and trust me - most of the time, i am a loser, big time. i try to learn how to put my feelings on hold - so dat i cld function better and think a lil more clearly. at least. its not dat i dun hav a strong feelings about wat happened - its jst dat i hav to put em away until the worst of the crisis is over. wat good is it goin to do to get all up in an uproar? who can make a sensible decision in the midst of an emotional storm? once its over and i can release my feelings - i usually hav some kinda meltdown. sometimes i sleep. sometimes i keep thgs to myself - and stay away from everysingle thgs around me. other times i feel sad. or angry.

sometimes i get fed up and hav trouble coping wit merry-go-round problems. these r the same problems dat come up over and over and over again. its clear wat needs to be done but the solution is too difficult to implement. well - fcuk me - dats a lot of high vocab talk, yeah. well it was those like i-told-u-to-stay-away-but-u-din kinda thang. am i stupid?

heh. i dunno.


today -

lecture for the whole 2 hrs on Introduction to Health System Research.

at 10am - aku dah boring. the headache is killing me alrite. no caffeine, no nthg. i jst realised its getting worst - especially on waking up from sleeps. sickening.

11am - aku alrdy home. into boxer - aku hit MuMu again and again.. FaceBooking in between.


things aku tak accomplish today -

appointment aku dgn MOPD - heh, dah masuk 3 kali aku defaulted follow up. malas. bosan aku tgk muka Pakar yg seeing pts jst for the sake of seeing another one.

aku escape from doing my clinical visits - Taiping, Parit Buntar and Klinik Kesihatan Gng Semanggol.


those were the days..

me at the first yr of life - dis was coupla months after born, of coz.
in 1974. look at the hair..

me and my great second sister - Kak Ngah in my first tri-cycle.
i know i looked pretty darn tired. heh. 3yrs old, i think.

look at the hand. heh. my hair. sikat tepi wit
minyak rambut cair warna ijau. bila under the sun -
peluh meleleh dgn minyak2 sekali. haha..

mak, abah, kak ngah, cik and aku - of coz. in 1979. the pants. the dad's shirt. the belt.
and - OMFG - the perut too. heh.

me and kak ngah - on Idul Fitr'. aku tgh giler kartoon waktu neh. baju raya pun nak kartoon. jenuh kena leter dgn mak..

me in cowboy outfit. masa tu - kalo posing tgn wajib kat pinggang.
keji kan? hahaha..

stand and deliver. katernye. yg lain2 tu standing since kena denda. aku je tak. muahaha..
sebelah aku Saiful, dpn - in spec; Taufik. Badrul sebelah.
Rosmansani kat belakang - dgn Jamsani.
dis both r real culprit.

suka tarik kerusi aku time aku nak duduk. heh.

innocent. and decent. so wat? well, i am still.. anyway! bley?
Darjah 6, time first amek IC.

me and Areeyna, Kimie. my first 2 minimonsters. dis was in.. heh, luper lah.

aku dgn Wan on the ritght, Shidee on the left.
weird lookin. nerdy in specks. *puke*

2nd yr waktu bertugas in Hospital Taiping. Hari Keluarga or somethg. lain sumer bwk anak bini, aku - aku bwk adik aku sorang neh.. Kak Yang
(see her at

aku and kak yang - plus mini-Areeyna on one of the Hari Raya. kat kg in Taiping. kehlezz kak yang posing. mcm..

me and sibblings at Kak Yang's graduation day.

i wanted to do dis long time before. its not like 'mengimbau masa dulu' (as Art said) or watever not. i jst feel like doin it. dats about it. further more - dis r all my fav collection - when dat time there was no tumbdrive, no digital camera u cld click and delete, or click and save then print em out at ease. dis was the time - where u click, and u gotta send the whole roll to the kedai cuci gambar and u then keep em all nicely in a thick album, place it somewhere safe so dat u can show it to anyone u feel like to. to think dat back again - i hardly do dat nowadays. aku kinda guy yg click ere click there and save em in portable. or keep em nicely in a folder.

dis was the time, wit their own stories. from me at my early tender age, up to the first yr at work.. my sis graduation, my first 2 minimonsters and such.

and to think it back again - i am proud of wat i've been thru. i had such a great superb family. bros and sisters. frens and such. i had a great childhood too. tho it mght not be as superb as yrs (i am the eldest - watdya expect?), i am proud of wat i had.

wish i cld turn back the time. wish i cld still fit in dat bell-bottom - God sake. but yeah - not in dat perut, pls.


Wednesday, May 20, 2009


I mean, the 3rd watch for me - dis year. I am not sure about the price. And i knw it aint Versace or Guess. But hey, who cares? Its a present, alrite. And i am glad. Hehe


i wish i cld say more - but i gez the more wldnt make it better. i wish i cld be there to celebrate it too, but then - it wldnt do any better. i wish i cld share the happiness - yet.. heh, wats wit all dis?

bro - CONGRATULATION. it worth a Louis Vuitton over yr eyes. it worth the silence - all out of the sudden. it worth the struggling, and worth it all.

i gez its the beginning of all thang aye?