Wednesday, March 4, 2009

a good-listener?




i aint sure of wat shld i jot down in ere for today. theres coupla thgs happened to me alrite since mornin (eg; a suprise call from s'one down under in NZ! hahaha) and a few more. other than dat - usual thang lah. makan, tido, study, sawan in between, FaceeBooking and such. i think i am doin the FaceBooking more than i read la, today. aiyooo.. matilemek mcm neh! kena masuk rehab. FaceBooking is my disease (katernye).


but i wanna share somethg wit u ppl today. its about communication. way of listenin, attentively to be precise. most of us do listen to other. some of us even claim to be a 'good-listener' w/o really knowin wat the heck is 'good-listener' means. and most of us - do the listenin while havin a pre-mind set nye answer to throw back in return. heh. lagik le terok kalo kes mcm neh. by end of the day - u r confuse.. whos doin the listenin? and whos doin the talkin?


i hope dis followin can help u (and me too) to enhance our communication and help exploring perceptions of one another;

  • be an attentive listener. when listening to other ppl, u hav to put away yr own bloody agenda. and yeah - shut the fcuk up. and listen. attentively, of course.
  • do not put yr own interpretation into wat other ppl say.. dis is the biggest silly mistakes most ppl do. belum apa2.. dah ada silly own perception dlm paler hotak. keji lah!
  • jst wait for yr turn to talk and yeah - be patient while listenin to others. a so-called 'good-listener' shld be doin the listenin. not the bloody talkin. if ur into the talkin thang - grap someone and pay him.. and u do the talk.
  • show some empathy. yeah - not sympathy. he/she mght not needs any pathetic plain sympathy pun. an empathy will do great. the to-be-in-someone's-shoes kinda thang.. there r always 2 sides of behavior - opinions and situations. by bein empathetic, u can see and feel how the other person r feelin or experiencing and therefore - u'll be understandin em better. trust me.
  • and w/o empathy -there'll be a one-sided way of seein and interpreting behavior, opinion and situation. so - if ur not good or jst dun know how to empathize ppl - stop claimin urself as a freakin 'good-listener'.
  • be sensitive to ur non-verbal body language to avoid sending inappropriate msges and create tension in the relationship. eg; keep on seein yr cheap watch, yr eyes on other thang rather than on her/him and such. and yr eyes yeah - do look into her/his eyes once in a while. but not staring in the eyes, idiot. u mght be ended gettin a free slap on ur face. heh. coz its so freakin rude.
  • understand wat makes us defensive. it hiders open, clear and succinct communication dat can lead to 'misreading' of the situation and inaccurate perceptions. jst listen. need not to defend a thang!


erm - mcm bg lecture plak. hahaha.. hope we can learn thgs well, eh.






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