Wednesday, March 25, 2009

..expectation.



i've been looking forward for thgs - a lot of thgs, lately. for the past coupla weeks. or even months, perhaps. i've been counting thgs, days and such - and i think it brings me a lot of new changes in my life, really. a new energy. i never been so optimistic about so many thgs before. i am looking forward for a new day - every day. every single day. for i know at the end of it - theres somethg out there - a reward, i shld say - waiting for me. i've been clinging on it too much dat theres quite changes in me - ppl around me started noticing it well. but its ok. i dun giv it a shait of wat they say. i know wat it is. and i know how it feels.


but then - suddenly i feel like thgs fallen apart. i am not sure of y i am counting days, minutes, seconds and such. i am not sure if it really worth it. mum always reminds me to put down expectation low to the ground in life - for the higher u hav it in life, the more sickening u'd be. and i've been a good follower to it alrite, all dis time. but then - i started to drift away. and now - i am not sure how to put thgs the way it is - for i am so stuck in it, and i am not sure if i can let go. no expectation. dats the way it is. i am havin so much expectation now - dat it hurts me sometimes. even now, especially. but then - wats my rite to voice thgs out? do i hav any? i keep remind myself - where the stance is. i know i gotta face the music, for the risk i'm taking. i cant say much, for i know how thgs work.



but again.. i dunno. *sigh*



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