Monday, March 31, 2008

kan?






chanteQ ke?




dis is Nazmir - he refused to be photographed. chantek ke nak nyorok2 iteww? he spent the whole afternoon (despite of doin his thang in clinical area) since Health System Research proposal dia tak lepas2 jugak (a.k.a tak lulus!!). poor him - he's havin a senior as his supervisor.. so struggle le sket.
thanks God he's around - at least i cld throw some epileptical laugh wit his stupid joles and such..

headache.





Ajak askin me out for a drink - during the lunch time; but i dun feel like goin (i am not, indeed) since i got byk benda nak kena settle seblm they drag and make thgs worst.. or - before the boss scream and kick the shit out of me - so i think i shld be doin em all alrite earlier. in fact - i am havin kinda lite-headed larr.. cld be aku mkn roti canai and kuah gulai kambeng kot for breakfast pagik tadi.. adeh - it feels like someone puttin a bag of shit rite on my parietal region. duh..
had a meetin dis mornin - bos submit nama aku for Kuching for 'i want those yg bley buat keje je pi sana' kinda thg. yeah - rite. nama Hafiz, Amed and one of the senior pun naik jugak.. i cld see changes in quite a number of faces dlm bilik mesyuarat tadik (especial the seniors) but i dun giv it a fcuk pun.. if nama aku naik - then i'll be goin. if it is not - dammit; i am glad!!
i do believe i am missin someone terribly. but it was not proper to feel dat way, indeed. for the one i am missin is someone else's. for the one dat i am missin just dun giv it a shit about me - anymore. it is sickenin, really. when u think ur strong and u'd be able to face dis alrite - yet deep down u yrself know ur aint alrite and ur not.. and when u think ur alrdy get over it - for it was like yrs back - but then, it aint. the shit keep on comin back, buggin u like an idiot - and u finally realize ur so cripple hopelessly cant do anythg at all.
i try to stay focus. but i cant. i try to do thgs well, fill up the time alrite - but it was all bullshit.
y me?

..

Go on Girl
Ne-Yo



i cant get it back, but
i dont want it back, i
realized that,
she dont know how to act
never been a dumb dude
no im not dense
just had a slight lack
of common sense
I was the good guy
she was the bad girl
i'm thinking one girl
she thinking me, earl james and jimmy
yeap she had plenty
but love for me, she didnt have any

i was inviting, her into my heart
but she was out riding in some other man's car
she was my night time, thought I was her star
guess I was wrong, but see im strong
won't take me long for me to move on

please dont worry bout me im fine
only gonna play the fool one time
trust me when I say
that i'll be ok
go on girl


i cant get it back, but
i dont want it back, i
realized that,
she dont know how to act
tried to settle down and look what I get
thought it was my time, but I guess not yet
she at the bar getting drinks from many men
i'm in the house, thinking shes with her girlfriends
trust not knowing, true they're not knowing
i look back now like, man, I was open

i was inviting, her into my heart
but she was out riding in some other man's car
she was my night time, thought I was her star
guess I was wrong, but see i'm strong
won't take me long for me to move on

the mistake i made was clear
we never shoulda been together
thats the reason youre not here
i know that i can do much better
not a single salty tear
not a feeling in my chest
baby im feeling no stress
i'm too fly to be depressed

go on girl..

the wekend thgs

finally i am home - and i am in the office yeah. i gez - i shld said dat i had a very nice, 'fruitful' kinda weekend yeap yeap.. i was in Seremban for the final College Idol (and it was kinda - sucks, yeah), and on Saturday morn. in UPM for coupla thgs and by 7pm - i was alrdy there at Hafiz's place in Bndr Mahkota Cheras. we managed to go out for drinks wit frens, hit the dance floor alrite (dun laugh - i know i aint good, but i love the loud music yeah), came back at 5am and dozed off till 1pm on Sunday. Hafiz alrdy went out for his locum by dat time - leavin me all freakin alone. so - again, i was sleepin like a log. it was so tak-bley-describeable how it was, spendin time sleepin all day - it was so damn fcukin nice, hell yeah. first i tot Hafiz will be back at 2pm; he then called me up sayin dat he got thgs to settle - yeah rite - and only then around 8pm he was home.. menyesal siot. i wish i cld jst balik dulu. shld be back in Ipoh early so dat i cld settle byk benda really.
arrived home last nite around 12.30am - Soleh alrdy back home. i missed the house, i missed the whole lots of thgs absolutely. cleaned up myslf and off aku crawled up into my crib.
too many asgments to be done within 3 weeks. i really hope dis cld be another eustress form me. dammit. yeah rite.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

TQ!

oh yea.. btw - thanks, AZILAH. i am not sure if i ever stumble into yr name (or yr nick, perhaps) before - eversince i was in ekawan.. tried to dig it thru yr profile, but it doesnt work out well. anyway - i am ere. i am not as 'rancak' while i was in ekawan, but i am changin for good. and Zean - i am not sure how to answer u well anyway. huhu
do drop in, pls.

thursday the batik silly thang

came in back to the office wit a bit of vegeance - only to find i got tonnes (again) thgs to settle. but its ok - thgs r meant to be settle, and i'll takin my fcukin time to deal wit em all. afterall - i aint hav no classes today, i aint goin for any clinical visits/rounds either. so i might as well stay put, glued my sweet arse rite on my cahir, in my own sweet room wit my mp3 screamin on alrite, doin my thgs rite. i got no choice - i gotta do dis all for trow aku dah shld be in Seremban rite early in the morn.. and in KL on the weekend. Ajak wasnt in, Hafiz seems to be damn bz - so i let it as it is.. me and my work, and let he deal his well. i gotta go thru dis bundle of MCQs/SEQs/MEQs answer sheets and submit the marks to the big boss, before she screams her shit out at the top of her lungs. euw.
Hafiz asked me out for a drink over the lunch-time. and yeah - as aku expected - he got coupla thgs to say. tale to tell. need ears. shoulder watever not to lean on. so - since he's payin the drinks, i jst stood there alrite, pasang telinga and said coupla words to soothe him down. Hafiz and his merry-goes-round kinda life. aku pity wit him, but again - he's on the same track, again and again.. and there's not much dat i can say. but then again - he's one of my best buddy. as long as i can stand rite beside him well, i'll do dat definately.
he wit his life. and i gez everybdy does too. tak der saper dlm dunia ni happily ever after wit no problem at all.. i got mine too. and i hate to spill the beans in ere. or i might ended up hearin ppl said i am kinda 'jiwa kacau'.
again? sorry. forget it.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

..

done wit my 2hrs lect. on Sociology for the 1st sem dis morn. nthg to be much ado wit, so aku jst stay put finish up thgs in my own room.

lunch time, aku decided to jst leave for home. cld hav a nice sleep last nite, i was a bit groggy indeed.

Monday, March 24, 2008

Monday sucks big time.

wasnt in the rite mood today - after all its Monday, u know wat i mean. pagi2 Pengarah panggil for meeting - i gez do noted about dis previously, it jst dat i dun really giv it a shit about dis. it was a Mesyuarat Pengurusan anyway. and frankly - i never like to be in any of mesyuarat in ere. it wasnt the so-called mesyuarat. the stance was there alrdy, the mesyuarat was just like to acknowledge everybdy wats goin to be done and wats not. so wats the point of havin one? so there i were - sittin at the ujung meja wit Apiz, Ajak, Din and we was jst.. dammit. wat a mornin.
thank God its alrdy 5. cant wait to get the hell outta ere. named me wit watever it is - i jst dun feel like to be in ere. not today.
and i dun hav any reason why for dat. i just dunno why.

Friday, March 21, 2008

karao yeah!

Firdaus came into my room jst now - remind me of tonite - our Kelab Kebudayaan (dun laugh at me pls - i was selected as one of the Penasihat Kelab w/o havin any knowledge wat to do, wats rite and wats not for the Kebudayaan thang.. God forbid, i was so not me) will be havin a pertandingan karaoke final tonite.. and i need to address em all. shait. wat to do? wat to say? and - wat to wear? so aku delegate the worryin part back to him like 'Daus do me a favour - buat isi speech for me sket..' kinda thang. at first he was reluctant ' sir, mana la saya tau pe sir nak ckp..'. i made it easy, shower him wit coupla good words and wallaaa.. he agreed. senang je. hehehe.. the pemenang tonite shall be send to Seremban - for the grande one, among all the medical colleges. i cant believe i am in between all these - but be it lar. i am jst the Penasihat - make sure everythg alrite, make the whole thang easy for the stdnts to deal wit thgs.
it's rainin tak hengat.. aku baru je plan nak jog ptg ni - wit no gym today - for i gotta be at the hall around 8pm for the event. but then - bila dah siap bwk segala bagai - ujan la plak. its ok la kot - ujan rahmat. tp deep down - aku still hopin the rain shall be renyai soon,, so dat mcmana pun - i cld do some cardio alrite.
i gez i am goin to hav a very nice weekend dis time around i cld spend time kat padang Polo on Sunday for some aerobics, and do thgs i wanna do when i am havin such ample time. yeah - theres so many thgs to settle alrite. for next wk, i wldnt be in - Friday to Sunday, i am gonna be in Seremban/KL.
heh - lapar la ujan2 neh.

a horse?

i had a great off-day semlm - it was MaulidurRasul, so the whole Perak was on a public holiday. i managed to benefit the whole sweet morn of mine, wakin up around 8am for a jog and a breakfast after dat. and i managed to finish up coupla thgs yg dah due - my assgment, for example. its not really dah siap - but i managed to go theur like 3/4 of it well. thank God.
head for a 'minor shoppin' around 11am. i din hav the list - really. and as usual, if i din - i ended up disastrously. aku ended bringin more bags than i ever tot.. at least those r thgs dat i'm gonna use - i gez; so i need not to hav anther self-defense mechanisme to soothe me well.
around 4pm, aku baru sedar i din take any lunch yet - i was hungry as a horse. and ended up (again) eatin like one.
matilermekgemok.












yeah - rite; its XMeal kinda thang.. but i was hungry. pre-prandial..




post-prandial a.ka. the aftermath.. yeah - i know. jst shut up. hehe


Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Kuala Kangsar thang


i shall be headin to Kuala Kangsar (and Padang Rengas after dat) rite after the presentation. aku dah went thru some of the books, just to make sure i am really prepare for the whole thang.. sometimes bdk2 neh - u never expected wat kinda q's they mght throw u.
actually aku mls nak pi mana2 pun - sakit2 badan le plak.. shldve take some Brufen jst now before i left home, tp aku lupa sgt. shait.
but its ok - i'll go thru the presentation first (hope it wont drag too long), get myself behind the wheel, off to Kuala Kangsar, Pdg Rengas and str8 back home. far as i concern - my schedule for today is pretty clear. notgh much to deal wit. and i've alrdy clear up my appointment wit stdnts earlier yesterday - jst in case i wont be in today (but i am - shait).
Kak Ton the CC kept on tellin me i shld be her 'anak sedara'.. heh. it makes me havin goose-bump all over. makes me wanna run around each time aku about to stumble into her.. scary uol!

my hard (yeah!).. ahak.

these r the songs i am listenin to rite now - over and over again. they catch my ears alrite for the time bein..


  • Mario feat Lil' Wayne - Crying Out For Me (remix)
  • Chris Brown feat Jordin Spark - No Air
  • Madonna (feat Timbaland & JT) - 4 Minutes (new single of her upcoming Hard Candy's album!)
  • Lupe Fiasco feat Matthew Santos - Superstar
  • Janet Jackson feat Timbaland - Feedback (remix - yeah!)
  • Randy Jackson feat Paula Abdul - Dance Like There's No Tomorrow (Teddy dun puke)
  • Ada Band feat Dave Koz - Manusia Bodoh (yeah - i know.. stop doin dat bloody face, pls)

try listenin to em all - u know wat i am tryin to say. ada duit lbey - go get the ori one from the kedai cd. otherwise - jst tiru mcm mek. donlot jerrr.. transfer masuk iPod. or u cld burn it to yr own cd, make em yr personal thang.. u dun feel like it, chunk em away.. but of coz - no cover/sleeve provided lah.. (p/s; u can make em on yr own too, if u want to! hui)

and btw - hav u listen to Madonna - What It Feels Like For A Girl? yeah - i know it was a bit old, but then it is my all time damn rockin nice kinda song, esp the one remix by Paul Oakenfold.. fuyooh!

each time i got all the above playin while i am doin my jog thang - i cld run 5 big round, despite of 2 usual round.. trust me.

nah - overlakmek.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

thanks, matey!












i wish i cld thanked Syah the teddy bear, MIM (which i hardly know - but God; thanks for treatin me as if we alrdy knew each other..) and Zean - ur the first person i added to my new-born blog. Syah and MIM - thanks again in teachin me how to do the 'add-link' thang. it proved me dat i was kinda lost wit all dis thang, and if aku tak buat pe2; i mght turn up to be and idiot wit all dis hi-tech thang. as 2L2M said - 'be patience larr..', i gez dats wat need.
i kinda missed my old blog. aku tak bukak pun ari neh - a break-thru for me. never in my life, i came in to the office w/o checkin and jottin thgs down - before anythg at all.




rainin.



KLCC yeah - at nite.







another one - KLCC still, i believe. at nite.



i did some 'cleaning' on my cpu - i found these. cant remember bila i took all the above - but one thg i remember - i used to hav the obsession in snappin pics, puttin em all in my previous blog - until one of the sweet day, when puttin up pics into the blog became nearly 'impossible to do' so.
i supposed to be not-dat-bz today, ample time from classes (except for clinical teaching dis mornin - which is for me kinda piece of cake yeah) but then - ramai le pulak students came in and go for various reasons. i feel like freakin out, i told Ajak dat i'd like to put up a sign 'jangan ganggu' on my door - which is; ye larr.. try buat mai tgk! hehe
shall be leavin for Pdg Rengas and Hosp Kuala Kangsar - for clinical visiting trow. but then Ramesh requested me to join his presentation dgn student2 dia regardin Psychiatry History Taking. nak tak nak - esok lambat jgk la aku off from dis building..
plan for a jog ptg neh - but then, it was rainin as if the sky wld fall rite on the ground. great - shld be another grat excuse for not runnin around, and off str8 back home. bley?
matiemekgemok.

alien-secondary thang



mendung tak bererti nak ujan? yeah, rite.





smlm - by the time aku reached home - it was around 7.20pm; the sky was alrdy kinda dark; it was a bout to rain, i supposed - but unfortunately it wasnt. thank God aku sempat angkat kain di jemuran iteww.. kalo idak, kena cuci lain (as if i ever did - after all ujan kan air dr langit, so wat?). alasan sgt. huhu..
did some channel-surfing as usual, killin time before aku hit my crib. stumbled into dis AF6 nyer Diary watever not. heh - as usual. typical AF. nothg much. no such of 'umpphhh..' dat wld makes me to urge for more. the 'nenek' was kinda lost in translation, in her own dodo-land, yg lain2 tu mcm gedik tak tentu pasal - one gal gotta sings Umbrella (Teddy's new sensation), but she sang like.. fuhhh!! wit certain slang yg u-listen-to-it-u-nak-mampos-gelak kinda thang.. Soleh said 'giv em a break lar..', i said - break my arse hell yeah. but again - over all, its too early to say anythg at all.. so i gez i'd rather go wit the flow. wat? nah - if i stumble into it again, i'll watch it. i dun think i'd commit for it.
around 10.30pm - aku went upstairs; did my pick-and-match, did the ironin, mingled around some books and sedar2 dah 5.30pm. cant really remember at wat time i dozed off, really.
and only dis mornin aku realised dat my pants and my long-sleeve yg aku iron semlm - tak match. pelik sesgt. damn - it makes me wonder wat the hell wrong wit me last nite. and wat happened to me, really.
it was like - i was there, but i aint sure as if i am.
scary. indeed.

Monday, March 17, 2008

heh!

time aku ye ye dah nak balik - baru budak2 neh inform daer mesyuarat pebagai. ampeh btol!! aku dah nearly leave dis fcukin shait buildin. now i gotta stay back and listenin to the rantin - and wonderin when can i get over all dis for my jog, sementara tak ujan neh!!

huawaaaaaa..

..





there's a weird feelin in me today - everybody seems to be so damn bz; yet i was wonderin wat i really hav to do.. its a dreadful day - i must say. i just cant wait to leave - at least for a jog and gym (if its not rainin out there). is it rainin anyway? duh - i was in the room since like ages; i din go for a lunch.. and i din go for a 'peek-a-boo' at Hafiz and Ajak's room pun. Ajak, Hafiz, Din, Farina and another few of em - from the Medical dept was havin dis so-called team-teachin kat skill lab la kot.. Mr Bong came in just now - askin me as if i am 'free', and yeah - u bet, i said 'no!'. huhu.. so ere i am - shldve been there, but i am not. now i am killin my time watchin my jam tgn every now and then - waitin for the time's up. duhh.. i hardly hav days like dis - but today, it is sucks big time hell yeah..




i feel kinda lite-headed; alhamdulillah eversince aku balik from a few days break kat kampung. i had fun - really. kak ngah and family were there - we had a konvoi up to Jitra to see cik dan his new baby gal - Sarah Irdina. yeah - wat a name. as beautiful as the baby is, really. i will definately put in her pic - the first her pic i ever took soon in ere; real soon. spent 2d1n there, off we came back. apperently cik was so happy - cld see it thru his eyes, his words and such - dat he was blessed and glad for wat he had; i remember how he told me dat he really wish to hav a baby gal - rite after Hasif yg skang dah around 2yo. kak cik - she's doin ok. i wish kak yang and the whole family cld be ere to - at least to share the feelin dat i had.. deep down - i was wonderin how kak yang been nowdays, hows abg uda (her hubby) and their babies - Adilla and Alieya. i bet they r gettin smarter now. and the rest of the weekend - i spent it at parent's. tak pi mana2 pun, jst stay put - makan tido. Soleh was not around - he got classes to catch, lectures to attend, papers to be done by certain period of time - as dats wat he told me lah.. he's a grown up young chap - i know he knows wat to do.
i gez at dis age - u wld wish for nthg; except for a good companionship, a good ppl aorund u. and a family. a wife. some kids perhaps. i gez dats all dat matters.









i hate to do dis all over again - i mean startin from the start. from zero. i've been doin my bloggin thang in ekawan for 2 yrs now.. i knew quite a number of frens from there, too. bloggin there used to be fun, easy. i can even text from my mobile while doin my shaggin-thang (nah, dun trust me - i never try dis before); but yeah - i can make sure my blog is updated around the clock, 24/7 from my mobile.. and it costs me like only rm1/per entry (if i am using my mobile larr). but now - it was disastrous. cipet sgt. i wrote a lot there - about me, my self, thgs happened to me , around me and such - and i kinda sad dat i hav to put it to the end now; since byk sgt hal2 yg nyakitkan ati aku je.. recently, all my March 2008 entries just gone wit the wind. just like dat. for no reason at all. and its not like aku sorg je yg kena - ramai lain, too. and the best part is - i am a premium member! (which means i gotta pay, week basis for all the 'special' thang provided - the question is now; special ke?). heh.. (see my http://shahe.blog.ekawan.com/).


came into the office early - as usual today. nothg much at work today, really. most of em - aku dah settled before aku off for coupla days last week. so aku jst came in - kemas2 pe patot, punched in, on computer (and then only aku sedar aku nyer blog dah mcm haremmmzz..) and suddenly Ajak came in.. wit his flat, sad face. Ajak and his life, problems.. aku personally hate him when seein him wit his gloomy face. and aku always kinda good in detecting his problem - he and the office-politikin thgs. and yeah - i was rite. so i spent around 30mins listenin to his ranting. poor him.. he is a good man - he always there when everybdy needs him well, he helped ppl as if u dun hav to hav anyone else to cling on to - but when it comes to the office thang - he get lost in between. aku pun tak faham dgn Mr Hari and Pengarah neh - wat r they tryin to prove anyway? judgin ppl from their past wldnt make the whole thg alrite, dats for sure. Ajak changed a lot, really. he was so fuckin shait before when i knew him kat UniSEL. i used to hate him. he wit his fucked up mouth. attitude. but he's a new person now. i gez after wat happened to him - he really damn learnt a lot. but then again - these ppl refused to see thgs in a postive ways, judgin ppl like nbdy biz. he deserve a second chances. wldnt everybdy, rite?
so ere i am now - Mr Hari 'downloaded' his few topics for me to teach. last minute, yeah. shit! nah - i wldnt spell dat s-word on his face, alrite. ru crazy? but yeah - i did say dat dlm ati je larr.. so - aku dr tak der keje ari neh; i gotta finish up preparing materials for the lecturin session.. regardin Introduction of Sociology for the Sem 1 chaps.
aku rasa mcm nak jadik ahli sihir je skang.. so dat aku cld sumpah je sesaper yg aku tak suker.. just like dat.
yeah - just like dat.