razak my office-mate was kinda down today - he was called by the boss for some reason (i aint really wanna know wats the reason was), and razak said he was kinda 'stress' over it.. of course he did tell me hell yeah - wat it was all about. its about xpectation, role-model etc etc.. i din say it was wrong for someone superior from us to hav sort of expectation in u. dats a normal thg larr.. but to change yrself, solely for the xpectation; i dunno. it is kinda hard, of course. it mght takes time. and dats i told him. as aku selalu ckp - changes is somethg every ppl hate. ppl hate of changin - esp bila dah selesa of wat u hav, of wat ur, of wat u do etc. changes will take time. we change if we hav the kesedaran towards it. and somehow - if its for good; then we hav to work for it.. no matter how long it'll takes. but never change for somebdy else. or for someone tell u - dat u hav to change. or when u din really wanna change (or ur not ready for changes), and u change for someone say u hav to. it'd be disaster, i suppose. i dunno - i do think so. i mean - i do believe so.
i think i prefer to be wat i am now. i am comfortable for bein and doin wat i am doin now.. as long as i din go xcross the line, as long as i din break any rules, as long as i din set a bad example for the stdnts - i think i'd do fine. i am wat i am. i do wat i hav to do.. and i be wat i shld be - the best dat i can. i aint good i know it hell yeah - but i am workin towards it. it is hard to be a good role model, when ur not even selected to be the Next American Top Model. erk - u know wat i mean.
and dats wat i told to him. i do hope he'll be strong. tho i was kinda senior to him; i know how it feels - becoz i've been thru it all before.
afterall, life is a journey itself. we live life. and we learn. a good role model aint hav to be dat bldy perfect too.. i blve ppl will respect when ur bein true to yrself.. not bein someone else other than u; when dat somebdy else wants u to be dat someone else.
*sigh* i gez dats wat life is.