Wednesday, August 27, 2008

i dun feel good. mentally. and physically. it jst dat theres coupla thgs botherin me n i hate myself to be dis way.. i've been thru dis shait again and again - and i've been advisin lot of ppl how to go thru dis bloody shait - yet the true is - i aint learn a thang. period. i am a one lame fool and i aint learn a fcukin thang. i am pretty bad in handlin thgs like dis. i tend to push it away and hope thgs gonna be just fine by the time the sun rise trow morn. which is totally a bullshait - and gez wat, i think i aint gonna deal wit it, dat way anymore. i gez i gotta find my bloody courage - if i ever got one - and stand my bloody stance/ground, darn well. i hate pretendin as if i am cool, as if i am good - where as deep down - i am shattered into pieces like a cheap fcukin glass.

i wanted to end dis. i got to. and i aint got no choice, dis time. i hate goin to sleep wit dis numb feelin buggin my head - and sleep thru it well, hopin thgs gonna be jst fine by the time i wake up then. i dun think dat wld ever work on me. anymore. i am goin to say wat i long to say. and i am goin to say it out damn fcukin loud. i am not a fool - even if i am, i'll be the fool one time. and no more. i am tired wit all dis shait. and i cant live life dis way. dis is so not me.

i am tired. i am sad. i feel like i got shait buggin my head well enuff dat i refused to think about anythg at all.

i wish.. i jst wish i dun know u at all.


looka80 said...

jm - you are definitely not in a good mood buddy. take it easy k. just try to sleep on it tonite. u'll be fine t'row.

mat motor said...

betul tu... sabar...
bwk bertenang..
things happened for a reason..
and maybe the reason is actually good for you...

budleee said...

yup bro

i do the same thing too, suka nasihatkan org yg ade problem walaupun ade problem sendiri gak. just do something that makes you happy or that can tired you out. ok

all the best :)

Count Byron said...

may your wish come true. yes. u dont know him at all. and it not a crime to unlearn, to un-know, to...forget. u'r doing great buddy. just great. so when u wake up and rise.. u'll be the phoenix rising from the ashes.. i assure u.
keep tight