Wednesday, April 30, 2008


i am leavin the office now. i am headin str8 to kampung - i need to be around my family badly. after all - i cwld be bz after dis comin Sunday.. i will be in Kuching for another one week, back for coupla days, and off to Seremban for another one week.
i gez i'll see u ppl next Friday. or Monday, perhaps.

first step.

i knw, everyone says u gotta thnk straight and do rite but so many ppl just cant. but why? bcoz sayin is one thing and doin is another. its very easy to say "never lie to yrself" but very hard to do. its the wide gap between sayin the nice wise quote and explainin HOW to do it, that prevents ppl from actually doin it.
so a fren of mine said just now, take control of yr mind. well great quote but how does one go about doin it.
wats the first step?

..i quit. i wish.

certainly, major changes in life take time, effort, and plannin.. not everyone can deal with abrupt changes or easily let go of ppl and places they once loved dearly. but you hav to get the ball rollin.. i genuinely admire a person who gives her or his very best to make thgs work but is not afraid to walk away if the situation is verily hopeless. there r some things u can change wit persistence and diligence, there r some u cannot.
stayin in an abusive life is worse than the worst death.
'i quit' is the most powerful two-word phrase you can utter when s'one is ruthlessly abusin yr selflessness..
i wish i cld say so.


it was rainin heavily downpour when i received a call from Nor the SWO. she hardly called me in lately, but she did yesterday. she brought me an abruptly news, makin me broke down even harder. she was like "Shah, faizul passed away just now..". and she cried. i was struck back. i din know wat to do. she said it aint confirm yet, her hubby just called her up tellin the news - it was a very damn heavy rain there in Taiping, and he cant confirm the news as well. i was shiverin like shait, but i had to be 'strong' and i managed to pacify her down - i definately want to confirm the news. and i knew where and how.
i called Tuan Haji Sallehuddin - the in-charge of A&E Hosp Taiping. he denied any knowledge regardin dat - sayin 'Shah, there's no ambulance call at time being, the rain is so heavy' kinda thang. and i called Husmin up - he's too my close fren when i was there in Taiping - he obviously lost in his own world by the time i told him the news. he then promised me to come back wit sort of confirmation.
i was there at home around 3.30pm when i started to receive msges from frens all over, and Husmin called in - Faizul dah kembali ke rahmatullah around 1.30pm, rite before dia masuk shift keje at 2pm.
i broke down and cried. i was so stunned. i was havin my phone in my hand and shivering like shit. i just had a lunch wit him 3 days back - and he was so damn happy back then, telling me tales. he was a nice, good guy. the fact dat he was rammed in by a lorry during the heavy down pour really doesnt make sense - he's a meticulous guy. he always nagged me for not buckle-up up while driving.. and i kept on havin his words in my head 'safety first', as he always told me. i couldnt find any perfect reason for dis. i cldnt find any, really.
i searched for his pic - if i ever had them wit me. but i cldnt find any. i wanted to remember him the way he is - but it hurts me more. i wanna let it go and let it roll off my shoulder. but knowin me - i am not dat strong.
and even now - the rain is still pourin like nobdy biz. its a gloomy day - as gloomy as it gets.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

system down.

i do think i am stressful. i do think i am dealing wit thgs yg i know wat it is, how to get the rid it off yr shoulder - yet i am draggin myself along well wit it. and it is sickenin. it is so damn fuckin sickening. it is now showin up to the surface - my immunity run low, and i was hit flat on the ground wit fever; buggin me for 2 days now.
dun tell me somethg dat i know - i did take medication as it is.. a fren o'mine said i am havin so-called viral-fever. but i believe it was kinda attribution - u put thgs into somethg else, so dat u can hav smthg to blame thgs on. i dun think i am havin a viral fever. or bacterial - worst to worst. i believe dat i am stressful. dats about it. i know my dammit stressor well - it aint eustres for God sake. i dun need dis one. it is somethg dat crushin my head into a tiny pieces - makin me hard to breath.

and i cant stand to be in my own shoes like dis - i tend to screw up easily, i tend to blow my top like nobdy biz; findin a softer target to satisfy my anger. at the end of the point - stdnts yg jadi mangsa. i hate to see the faces of em all, wit a scary reaction, unbelieveable affect they had on their faces seein me throwin my tantrums. coz by end of the day - i cant help to regret it. and definately - i hate it.

i am leavin the office real soon. i am headin home, hopin to hav a lil time on my own. i need some rest, so dat my body will recover well. and i need sometime to do the thinkin thang - so dat i'd be able to sort out thgs well, too.

i just hate myself, when i am not bein my ownself. and i hate myself when i am out of control - bein unable to control yr own action and ownself.

Monday, April 28, 2008

bye bye

i never knew i could hurt like this
and everyday life goes on like
and i wish i could talk to you for a while
i wish i could find a way try not to cry
as time goes by
and soon as you reach a better place
still i'll give the whole world to see your face
and i'm bragging right next to you
it feels like you gone too soon
the hardest thing to do
is say bye bye


i am still havin the body-ache, the post Sport Carnical syndrome; which was held last Saturday, i believe. i managed to catch the 2nd spot for the Open Men kategori - after Hafiz, yeah rite. he's a distance runner, while i was kinda 'lari bila senang je' kinda thang. i knw 2nd best is aint the best - but who cares. at least i proved myself alrite - better than Amed, Mail, Azli (Ajak din run anyway - he said 'ko giler aku plak nak lari!' kinda thang). and done wit the carnival - aku kena make sure the Malam Kebudayaan thang run smooth on dat Saturday nite itself - wit Farina, since Seremban sent their wakil about satu bus and he had to entertain em well. the Malam Kebudayaan ran smooth alrite, i was proud wit Firdaus and the gang - for w/out em all; i cant imagine where the heck i'd be standing then. the attendance pun ok-lah.. watdya xpct - it was MU against Chelsea, AF6 (sucks big time) on air. the boys and the gals were havin fun.. i gez dats all dat matters. and the most unforgettable part was when they pulled me up to the floor - for joget lambak!! it was so crazy - i never had my lambak before!! but then - i did. and i had fun yeah. by 1am - aku returned home, wit my eyes half-closed, my body started to ache all over.. Sunday morn - it was my turn to conduct the Mass-Aerobik; and i din hav any choice rather than to run the show.. Sunday mid-day - aku was in bed all day up to 5pm, sleepin like a bloody log.

woke up at 6am dis mornin - aku still had the sore all over the body. and a bit of feverish i shall say. aku gulped some Brufen, multivits and such - off aku to the office. i wish aku still on leave today - but i am not. mlm ni plak ada tutorial dgn budak2.. hadehh.

i feel dat i wanna write more today - theres so many thgs hittin my skull deep inside dat i feel i wanna share wit all of u. nope - it aint about me. its a bout.. i gez - about lot of thgs, i supposed.

Niza came in just now - Kuching confirm 4 to 9/5, 12 - 15/5 the interview thang, 1 - 4/6 i'll be in De Palma Sepang for a course there.


there's been a lot of strange things going on in my life. i never ceased to be amazed by the number of people who seem to take action that defy rational thought. there's a lot of crazy going around.
of course, things r never quite as irrational as they seem. mostly it seems that people are trapped by some kind of illusion about their reality. theres often quite understandable psychology that's going on behind the scenes - at least dats wat i believe. however, the results of peoples illusions can be quite devastatin on those around them.
not that all illusion or crazy is bad. i certainly live within my illusions and craziness - and who cares? u?.. but i think somewhere within any sense of craziness or illusion there has to be some concept of meanin, humanity, and spirituality.
i wonder if values are dyin out? i wonder if in a world of massive opportunity and knowledge dat ppl just become apathetic to it all? either way i have a new respect for those crazy ppl who have a sense of value and meanin in their life.

cant believe i am havin dis in mind - early in the morn.

Friday, April 25, 2008

and i feel like shit!!

system down


i shall think dat i aint stress at all - despite of the big event trow, i think i am managed. but theres a thg or two dat buggin my head at time bein - and frankly speakin, i hate it dammit. i wanna make it clear in ere - but i dun think i am dat strong anyway. and it mght be not the best time - for the time being.
Aizat texted me jst now before solat Jumaat. kinda weird - it aint strange, i know - but it was a bit weird tho. i do believe he's in a good shape - mind, body and soul when he started doin dat. or vice versa. he asked me 'ru ok dude'? which is again - eh, wats wrong? above all - i am glad since he's concern. i gez dats wat fren is for.. thanks Aizat - for the concern. i wanted to talk to him regardin a thang - but, i cldnt fine a rite time.
done wit the Bengkel - stole my mornin hours - whole mornin indeed. so ptg ni - i am goin to patch up coupla thgs i yet to be done.
a meeting regardin the Seremban trip down ere to attend. sucks.
i hate myself at time bein. i dun think i am in a good great shape today.


.. and i wish i cld tell u ppl how does it makes u feel - the changes around u - u cld see it wit yr bare eyes (yet u got a plain denial for it), how a bit of trust, a bit of power, a bit of responsibilites might change u into someone else. it'd change yr way of talkin, it'd change yr way of thinkin.. and when ur changin - yr frens mght as well noticed it well, and try to put thgs str8 - and all u mght get - is a piece of denial.
i gez dats the way life is.


they say normal is boring. i gez somehow or rather - it is true. and i got no word to tell u how it really is then.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

on the road - again (and it sucks big time!)

shall be on the road again, today. and the work load kat office is loadin up. dammit. semlm - Din, Azli and me was like havin a oo-lala ride around to Chkgt Lada, Ulu (wat!) Dedap, Selekoh, Bagan Datoh and Teluk Intan like nobdy bizness. Din never drove there. and me and Azli was like - yeah, we've been there.. but it was like ages back. and ur rite - so we were havin like pi balik pi balik tang tu jugak all the time. i remember went thru pekan Teluk Intan for about 4 times, yet we din know the where about. of course - we did stop and asked q's to the local - but then.. heh. malas aku nak cakap.
semlm reached home around magrib. 8.30pm aku dtg jap ofis since dah janji dgn Apiz nak siapkan few thgs for the Karnival Sukan - both of us in-charge of the 'joget-thon' (nah, dun get me wrong - its a plain mini jogathon hell yeah!) dis Saturday. so - lot and lot of thgs to be done.. and worst to worst - we just called coupla nerdy stdnts yg always willing to help, to help. thank God. by 12am, aku alrdy in the crib wonderin wat the heck laaa was goin on for the whole day, before knowin anythg at all - i was in the MuMuLand wit Carmen Electra. yay!! hehe
and today - i shall be on the road again - to Taiping to be precise. yezzz! but waitsemenet. i'll be goin there wit one of my skemast senior damn shait. ohh Lord. wat to talk? wat to say? when to laugh? can i fart in the car and *sniff sniff*? or can i do some gossipin? wat station to tune in? Classic FM? *puke*.. watever. but then - i am the one who'd be doin the drivin. he hates me alrite - aku shall pull-over, let him ride on a bus then!! try me lar.. hehe
eh. gotta go. gotta go n pick my senior up. or else, aku kena 'buang keje' lak kang.. heh. buang keje my arse!~
good day uols!!

Monday, April 21, 2008


bloody Monday - i shall say. i was pretty disoriented eversince aku stepped into the ofis.. Hafiz EL - so he was sort of delegating works to me regarding the jogathon thang on dis coming weekend. Kak Ton the fart CC called me up - aku kena be one of the tkg interview for kemasukan fresh intakes of the allied science nyer new staffs - dgn Pengarah dis coming week - and its goin to be like 3 days in a row!! not again. damn!! and definately i'll be seein more parents yg was like 'encik, tolong2 la tgk permohonan anak saya itewww' kinda thang. aiyo, serba salah mek.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008


wit nothg much to do - i think i shall leave the buildin now. will be on leave for another 3 days to come, up to the weekend. need sometime on my own - away from thgs.
see u next Monday. nice weekend anyway.

introvert vs extrovert

havin so much choice in wat to do around in ere today has had an interesting inpact on the way i see thgs, i gez. regular life, as for me is seein and workin wit the same set of ppl day in and day out. over and over again. so u gotta learn who they r and can react based on how they hav acted in the past.
here, i dunno anyone and nbdy knws me (at least not on a personal level, no offence). the only person i knw is me and the more ppl i meet - the more i hear dis 'me; person talkin about himself. god sake - dun get me wrong. i am not on some kinda mission to 'find' my true self but my voice is clearly establishing an identity for itself. at least.
i've wondered where i fall - on the introvert/extrovert divide. i knew i've been thru personality tests watever not, and basicly i know who the heck i am.. it just dat sometimes (suprisingly) i can be so damn social and meet 20 new ppl within an hr at any given evening if i so desire. or i can jst sit in my room (like wat i am doin now), cldnt care less, not talkin to anyone and just mindin my own biznes. i cld be extrovert and confidently call someone i met last nite (for example), wit out any single mispoken word or i can sit ere, nervously hopin dat someone wld calls me, yeah rite.

i am beginnin to feel dat i am really a typical introvert geek (geek? euww) who simply has a lot of experience (yeah rite) faking extrovertedness. who knows?.. dammit all i know is dat its jst wonderful bein in ere and havin the time of my life.
and i cldnt ask for more.

shrink? hell.

a pharmacist tried to crack a joke just now; during the seminar - which i think, it aint funny at all.. dammit - it cuts into deep fcuk shait.
who is the neurotics?
- those who build castle in the sky.
who is the psychotics?
- those who wants to stay in dat castle.
who is the psychiatrist?
- its the shrink who collects the rent every month.
ouch! dats wat u called funny? dammit.

Happy Tuesday!

i am so fuckin furious wit dis someone. usually i wld just go n tell thg or two rite on the face - i wldnt go bottled it up; but dis time around - i think i wld. or i might. the thg is dis aint the first i got same reaction like dis - i know nobdy's perfect, and i dun blve in u shld be dying, trying to be one. i am ok wit dat. but the self-centeredness - dammit i jst cant tolerate wit dat, at all. no excuse. and i think sometimes somebdy will not goin to change at all. i mean - at all. no matter wat u do. and no matter wat it takes.. i wont go discussin about it wit dat respected person. i jst dun think i will.
got back home late last nite - after a late supper wit mak abah kat Sabar Menanti. around 2am - i jumped into the crib, had a marvellous journey to the MuMuLand alrite. woke up at 5.30am - i am not sure wat i am feelin; fresh or groggy. watever it is - i do hope a big mug of Nescafe wld change the whole perspective, indeed. tho - yeah, i know it wldnt help dat much. caffeine - watdya expect?
second day at the 4th National Psychopharmachology Update Seminar.. learnt a lot yeah. and managed to meet up a lot of old fren shrinks or mine, too. hehe
nice day ahead, ya!

Friday, April 11, 2008


nice weekend, uols!

heh 2x!

finally we r done wit the meeting around 12.30pm - imagine, and it started rite at 8.30am. forget it if u think it as a 'fruitful' kinda meeting. i gez the Pengarah started to sense the wholethg as a 'fault-finding' kinda field bila one of the junior (nope - aint in the same 'ship' wit me and others, excuse me) cari pasal dgn senior. it was so full of shit i am tellin u. as a junior - aku definately malu dgn org2 mcm ni. its more towards a personal thg, do u need to bring it to the mesyuarat (mesyuarat akademik somemore!) - sort of washin yr own dirty linen in the public when u know u shldve settle dat particular thang in private? gross, indeed.
and petang ni aku gotta settle lot of thang.. (tp mek sempat jugak updat blog, bley?). next Monday and Tuesday aku kena pi kursus Psychopharmacology Update dkt2 ni jer.. hehehe.. yay!

Thursday, April 10, 2008


may be i shldve not say wat i've said last nite. may be i shldnt react the way i did. or perhaps, may be i shldnt even think about wat've been marchin up my brain lately. and i shall keep it tite, deep-seated in my tiny space over the base of skull. say watever u wanna say - i am a lonely jerk wat ever not - sometimes, i do think it is true alrite.
dammit - i feel so ashamed of my ownself.

Tuesday, April 8, 2008


i blew up my top just now. aku geram sgt - dis bullshit type of personality belong to some of the stdnts. aku dah bg masa cukup - more than enuff indeed - for them to finish up their own clerking case. dah la tak hantar sharp on time, bley bg idiot nyer reason - sibuk sgt, tak cukup masa. wat the heck! one month bro, one mothe!! dats one thg. bley plak dorang goreng history taking masing2, made up whole thgs - bila aku check2 balik kat ward - no such R/N, no such patient!! how dare dis boys are.. aku pe lagik - aku halau sekor2 out of my room. i dun wanna see any of em unless they r really prepare, do thgs they hav to do - betul2. kalo idak - they'll face the consequences. i dun giv it shit too, if they r not able to sit for the sumative later. dis is way too much - and i aint takin dis, no more.
aku pantang sgt bila org 'jual' aku mcm ni.. aku wonder wat they r havin in their own silly pea-size kinda brain, when they decided to do dat. tak fikir ke? aku tak pun baik sgt - aku nakal jugak waktu stdnt dulu. tp tak le mcm ni.. u think u can buy me just like dat? damn. i aint dat fcukin idiot. they r indeed.
Ramesh sebelah bilik aku menikus dgr aku marah budak2 neh.. after the after-math, he came to my room, tryin to crack jokes one or two, but then only to find dat budak2 dia yg buat taik tadik.. all out of sudden - aku bley tgk a change of his 'water-face'.. and aku can barely hear he uttered the word 'damn!' out from his mouth. sorry Ramesh - it aint yr lucky day, i gez. better try next time.
dis is the only thg yg aku tak bley tolerate. ppl tells me lies. damn - tell me one, and u'll know the bitch side of me! trust me.

Monday, April 7, 2008


they say pictures can say thousand words. and so i believe in it well. i used to be so in love in snapping pics - but now, i realized dat i wasnt dat 'hot' anymore towards it.. i did once in a blue moon, but not as i used to be before.

the above r some from my collection - i just used a plain camera wit my handphone; the N80i. i know it aint as good u ppl's out there.. i just wanna share some of it, wit all of u. dats about it.

cant remember exactly when n where i snapped em all. but i gez - it wasnt matter, aye?


its rainin heavily out there.. heh - ni dtech ler neh.. huargkhh.. it was a brite day just now - but then, all out of sudden, it was like the sky is tumblin down to the ground (nope - i am not wishin for dat.. trust me).
and again - all out of sudden, i feel theres a cravin inside nak makan nasik. pelik kan? i am not havin anythg yet eversince the morn. (i mean - the heavy side la.., i had a brunch just now.. selfmade Nescafe plus a bun of rito cream je), and its rainin.. mls nyer nak kuar.
teringat kari mak aku plak.. aduhh.. nyesal tak mkn banyak semlm!


i reached home around 10pm last nite, when i received coupla msges from a fren of mine - it was a she. we never met up before, and i prefer to stay dat way i gez. she's a nice gal, i heard a lot of great sweet thang of her, too.
she apperently in deep shit - a family discord i shall say. not about her - regarding her both parent.. and she was like in between. she hates for wat she's in, and she really hopes dat thgs gonna be alrite - both both of her mum and dad was together since her birth - and currently one of em is seein another third party. she was so confused. and she was so sad. everybody turned out to be like not wat they r before in the house, makin her more and more confused - din know wat to do.
my dear fren;
i never been in dat situation before. it is full of shit if i ever tell u dat i know how it feels. but trust me - i know the sadness, the confusion. u wish u'll get rid of dis. u'll turn back the time. and i really wish i cld giv u a hand. and help u get the hell out of dis shit.. but remember - we r just a plain human being. a human being does slipped off the track every now and then - dun judge any of em for the mistake they've done, they still yr flesh n blood. sometime - everybody need a new space to breathe in, a new thang in life to live in.. i am not tryin to make wrong thg rite, but we r just a plain flesh and blood (tho i know it aint an excuse).
brace yrself. be brave. do not hav any hatred inside - it'll make thgs worst. u've been thru shit before - i know ur gonna be jst alrite.
i believe both of em need some space. so time. to re-think and re-considering about the whole thg.
we never know how to appreciate thgs when it is infront of us. but when we let go - only then we know how great thgs dat used to be in yr palm - and u let it off.
i wish u all the very best. meanwhile - u know i'll around. anytime at all.

Nurul Aqillah Damia

Until The End Of Time
Justin Timberlake ft The Benjamin Wright Orchestra

Woke up this morning
Heard the TV sayin' something
'Bout disaster in the world and
It made me wonder where I'm going
There's so much darkness in the world
But I see beauty left in you girl
And what you give me makes me know
That I'll be alright

Because if your love was all I had
In this life
Well that would be enough
Until the end of time
So rest your weary heart
And relax your mind
Cause I'm gonna love you girl
Until the end of time

No if you're ever wondering
About the way I'm feeling
Well baby girl there ain't no question
Just to be around you is a blessing
Sick and tired of trying to save the world
I just want to spend my time with you girl
And what you're giving me
Makes me know that we'll be alright.

Because if your love was all I had
In this life
Well that would be enough
Until the end of time
So rest your weary heart
And relax your mind
Cause I'm gonna love you girl
Until the end of time

This one's for the lovers
If you're out there let me hear you say
This one's for the lovers
If you're out there let me hear you say
This one's for the lovers
If you're out there let me hear you say
This one's for the lovers
If you're out there let me hear you say

Cause if your love was all I had
In this life
That would be enough
Until the end of time

specially for my beloved ones!

i want the world to know - dis is it; my mum and my dad.
and they r sooo fantaboulously rock!!

i wanna do dis to my mum and my dad - its their 35th anniversary today; shldve done dis yesterday, but it slipped off my mind - along minak maaf.
mak/abh - SELAMAT MENYAMBUT ULANG TAHUN PERKAHWINAN.. along so grateful to be born as one of yr both son, i am glad - i am proud too - to hav both of u as the one who gav me the chance to see the world. i am ere for wat u've brought me, i am glad for both of u were to be at my back during the thick and thin. i wldnt be wat i am now, if u r not around. i wldnt be as strong as i am - if u both r around too. theres nothg in this whole wide world more precious to be compared wit wat u've both gav me.
mak/abh, if u read dis - i wanna u both to know that i am sorry for i am no good in words - u both know i am always like dis - but i do mean it. mak/abh - along, ngah, cik, yang n adik loves u both sooo fcukin much!
erk - sorry for the 'f' word. i mean - sorry. hehehe

Friday, April 4, 2008


wishin u ppl havin a great fcuktastic weekend ahead - i mean; me and u.. all of u indeed. go for some rechargin, get back soon on track well.. as for me - i cant wait for dis weekend - just like Syah did; i am headin to see my parents, my mini-monsters and such..
i gez i shall see u ppl next Monday, aye!

pizza thang

today was a pretty normal day. a lil room-cleanin, lil eatin, and a whole lotta on-the-web-kinda-thang. LOL.. i am tryin to finish up coupla slides for up comin classes - but then - tak siap2 jugak.. maybe 2-3 days more.. yeah rite.
Kak Ton made pizza @ home and brought in 'specially utk shah' (as she said) and twas pretty neat, but somehow these days i just cant eat a lot.. 2 slices and i was out!
weird.. and it sucks big time.


say no word - its TGIF anyway!! and i am so fcukin glad. by end of dis day - i shall be leavin rite up to mom's alrite. miss her cookin, miss my dad's nags sneakin rite thru my ears. and i am missin my own space, room like nbdy biz.
i am done wit the mornin assembly today - just now. thanks God aku biasak dtg awal.. Pengarah was there, and all - Azli came in late. hehe..
i hit the email jst now n someone sent me rgrdg dis Sufiah Yusof.. i was suprised.
welcome to life, anyway.

Thursday, April 3, 2008

touch my body - yeah rite!

bee-auw-tea-fool alrite.

its a beautiful day alrite. a clear sunny day - not too hot, not too cold and it aint runnin. i mean - rainin. i am glad i dun hav to travel out of the ofis today. around 8am dis mornin - aku tolong Mail handlin his first sem boys/gals doin OSCE - hand scrubbin surgical asepsis and strile gloving. done wit dat - aku off for an early lunch, alone. senang - then i cld run back to the ofis as early or as lambat as i can.. it is wonderful once in a blue moon if u'd be able to hav meal on yr own, really feelin the food travelin down yr throat while doin the ppl-watchin thang. alone, aye? i do eat alone most of the time, rite? so wat the heck? heh.
i mght be leavin for a bit of clinical visitin to a few psychiatry setting la kot after 2pm. sittin ere in my room - i'll be easily fall asleep lak kang. after all - i dun think i do need to get my arse bigger than the way it is, now.
managed to sms Syah the Teddy Bear tadik while doin the drivin. he's leavin for KL by train! nice. real nice indeed. if i'd be given a chance - no rush, no hassle - i'd prefer to tarvel by train. no matter wat u mght say - lambat la, leceh la, pe la.. i remember doin the travel thang wit Shahrul last time - we decided to naik train from Ipoh to KL on nite - sleepin in the sleeper coach. wah! fcuktastic!! imagine u sleep dgn ketapi goyang kiri kanan - it was like a great lullaby for me, really. but then - 2am dr Ipoh.. around 8am baru sampai KL. but who cares? aku tido mcm nak rak!
and the best thg is when ur travellin - wit satu niat; to see yr loves one! wah - wat in the world wld be wonderfoul than dat, rite? glad for u Syah - remember to enjoy every bit of it.. while u can. chances wont always come twice. and we cld never turn back time.. u know wat i mean.
i received coupla msges askin me y i was kinda 'mean' lately - from the stdnts lah neh. i blved dis was rgrdg yg aku cekup 3 - 4 ekor melaun meniru waktu formatif tu la kot.. some of em said i am doin alrite - they supported me for wat i've done - dis group for sure bdk2 yg tensen org lain bley niru yet they cant. and some of it sayin dat i shld be more considerate for wat happened. considerate? considerate my arse. but then - aku baru je amek nama n rampas their papers (plus shoo em out from the hall). tu je.. aku tak fikir pun nak report Pengarah ke haper.. but then again, if they want to - baby, i am so fcukin glad! bukan pe - they just need to learn some lesson. tu je..
saper plak pasang lagu Touch My Body by Kak MC neh? dammit - the lyrics. makes me horny larr..

Tuesday, April 1, 2008


just done wit the formative anatomy and physiology just now - threw out some tantrum since aku accidently catch coupla boys meniru. aku pantang sgt kalo ada yg meniru when they knew there's lecturers around; and they can ask q's well if they tak faham , blur wat ever not. i know copyin is one of the art in study - but not in my class while the exams r runnin. i rather help em out givin clues and such better than they go askin around, peepin kawan nyer paper - where as member pun sama je sengal. i knew it was kinda harsh - but dis guys; they need to be taught some lessons well. and dis aint the first time, trust me.

gotta go. clinical visitin - paediatric today.

but pe2 pun - makan dulu!!